Last night was the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and that usually leads to me posting someone from said show. Today is no different. Now, I do have to say in advance I haven’t seen everyone and everything. I haven’t really done my due diligence on this one. No, this is really an act of kindness as everyone knows Candice Swanepoel has been throwing herself at me for years. So I am throwing her a bone. Doubly so because she is a new mother, it’s been just a few months since she had her most recent baby and I remember when she got pregnant, a certain segment of the internet that follows models was furious and declared she was going to ruin her body and get boring. Obviously, as you can see in these pictures she is very boring and her body is terrible. Good job internet, you haven’t been this vocal and right about something since someone’s grandparent posted about Obama on facebook. Well done. So, clearly, it’s an act of kindness that I throw poor Candy this bone. The poor thing, life must be really hollow being rich, famous, beautiful, and having a family she loves. Maybe one day she’ll wise up and listen to bitter strangers on the internet. Or maybe I am reading this all wrong and she actually looks incredible. Like, I could be so wrong that actually what she wore on the pink carpet was amazing enough that she would be here. Maybe. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.