Here is Candice Swanepoel because she cleans up ok I guess. If you are into beautiful women. Then she looks good. Again, it’s a matter of taste. Do you like breathtaking beauty? Then maybe she’s for you. She does ok I guess. I guess. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Last night was the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and that usually leads to me posting someone from said show. Today is no different. Now, I do have to say in advance I haven’t seen everyone and everything. I haven’t really done my due diligence on this one. No, this is really an act of kindness as everyone knows Candice Swanepoel has been throwing herself at me for years. So I am throwing her a bone. Doubly so because she is a new mother, it’s been just a few months since she had her most recent baby and I remember when she got pregnant, a certain segment of the internet that follows models was furious and declared she was going to ruin her body and get boring. Obviously, as you can see in these pictures she is very boring and her body is terrible. Good job internet, you haven’t been this vocal and right about something since someone’s grandparent posted about Obama on facebook. Well done. So, clearly, it’s an act of kindness that I throw poor Candy this bone. The poor thing, life must be really hollow being rich, famous, beautiful, and having a family she loves. Maybe one day she’ll wise up and listen to bitter strangers on the internet. Or maybe I am reading this all wrong and she actually looks incredible. Like, I could be so wrong that actually what she wore on the pink carpet was amazing enough that she would be here. Maybe. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Here is Candice Swanepoel on account of her tremendous beauty. It’s really the last picture that got her here because it feels so thoughtful. Sometimes you really want to appreciate a nice pair of shows but there’s just way too much going on to do that. There are clothes and stuff to distract you and draw the eye and you never really get to consider the shoes like you should. She took care of that problem. It’s a kindness to all of us so you can really focus on those shoes. That strap is so elegant. I love the red bottoms on heels, it always is striking. Really thoughtful of her so I decided to post her. Obviously, I have had my issues with her in the past, what with her obsessive stalking of me and all, but credit due where credit is due, this was really nice of you Candy. Thanks. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Red Carpet Candice Swanepoel is always a rare treat so it was nice she showed up at Fashion Week this past week to help provide some red carpet action for us. It feels important to point out that as disgusting as it is, this woman had a baby just like two and a half months ago. Not the baby having being disgusting but that of course she looks like a woman who has never had a baby already. Which is impressive but doesn’t matter that much. I bring that up because a week after she had a baby the internet the swirls around models (which is often barely a step up from YouTube commenters) sure was criticizing how she looked post baby cause the had the audacity to go to the beach with her family. It doesn’t feel like it needs to be said but in general if you think that a woman needs to know your opinion of her body because she happens to be outside and have a body, you’re a piece of shit. If you think the world really needs to know that you think a woman daring to have a baby has ruined her body, you are like, even more of a piece of shit. I dunno what that is. Double shit maybe? My point is it’s all stupid but I am glad she has returned to the point where those people have even less of a leg to stand on. I mean, look, they’re trolls and not worth listening to but living well is the best revenge. And she looks stunning. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Happy Monday guys. It’s a potentially exciting day out there. I mean, Mondays suck and all but the Met Gala is tonight and the days are getting warmer and hey, who knows, I am sure other things are happening too. I am posting Candice Swanepoel because why not? She seems to have cleverly done a lot of work in advance to getting pregnant or in advance to showing at least and there is just this steady stream of stuff of her in swimsuits despite the fact that in reality she is ready to burst. Very clever on her part. She has also looked great in this stuff so I am posting it here. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Here is Candice Swanepoel because she cleans up pretty well. In case you didn’t know. Not much else going on there. As always, I have slipped in a secret picture where she is pregnant, enjoy trying to find that Easter Egg. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Over the course of this blog I have documented pretty thoroughly Candice Swanepoel’s clear obsession with me. You can click on the tag and go back if you’d like but the basic over view is she has always been way into me, sending me invitations to Victoria’s Secret stores in the mail, sending me huge glossy print pictures of her in her underwear and then going to the extra step to assemble an entire catalog around it so she could act casual like she wasn’t doing it just for me. Since then she has moved on to playing hard to get in the hopes of getting my attention. It’s pretty text book, date the same guy for 10 years, have a kid, get pregnant with a second child (which as always I sneakily snuck in a secret picture where she is pregnant. Don’t feel bad if you can’t figure out which one, as always it’s only for the most eagle eyed reader but if you are bored it’s a fun game to see if you can figure out which one). It’s all pretty text book stuff really. Now she has moved on to the next step which is a few times I have referred to her as Candy and more than one person has told me they like it when I call her candy. I have been told it’s cute and I have been told for some reason people just like it. Very clever. This one really took me by surprise and I am still figuring out the logistics of what is going on. Either Candice Swanepoel has influenced my friends to the point where they now ship the pair of us or it turns out this entire time some of my dearest friends have been sock puppets of Candice Swanepoel. And given we are talking in some cases about people I have met in real life built very complex lifelike robots to complete the illusion. I am leaning more towards the fan fiction route but Candice has been pregnant a lot lately, meaning she hasn’t been modeling, so she’s had time on her hands. Maybe she’s secretly developed an expertise in robotics? Some people would think that stretches credulity but let’s be honest, it’s no less believable than the idea that a human being could look as good in a bikini as she does. So… I am torn. Either way, well done, Candy, I can’t say you aren’t trying. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Here is Candice Swanepoel. Eagle Eyed readers might have already picked out that she is possibly pregnant at the moment. I slipped in a picture where, obviously I can’t be sure and hate to say anything insulting, but I get the feeling she might be pregnant. Maybe. See if you can figure out which picture I mean. It’s like a game in the sense that not accidentally drowning yourself when you drink from a water fountain is a game. It’s possible to lose but very unlikely. Anyway I am posting her because she is really pretty. And I mean, obviously I like to throw her a bone now and then because of her clear obsession with me. I can’t say I condone taking the trying to play hard to get to get my attention tot he point of having multiple children but I sort of get it. In junior high I didn’t even realize it was to impress a girl until years later but I totally broke a finger acting like an idiot in gym class. SO you know.. I guess I am saying the pinkie is the second child of the hand. Or something. My point is that this is obviously some sort of kindness on my part, my willingness to admit that the highly successful model is attractive. You’re welcome, Candy. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Well guys, Christmas is right around the corner and there isn’t a lot going on in the world of pop culture. It makes sense, you aren’t going to throw a big bash this weekend or a gala because people are busy doing other things.  It is kind of nice because I am about to be too busy to pay a ton of attention either.  It means I can just post pretty girls in red and white clothing and not worry that I am missing some huge, important event.  So today is Candice Swanepeol because she is really, really pretty and also Christmas themed pictures.  A perfect combo.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.