Tag: Model

Here is Kelly Brook on account of her extreme hotness.  Sometimes it strikes me as odd that I have posted her as many times as I can because she is not exactly a huge star, I guess maybe in her homeland she’s a bigger deal because photographers follow her everywhere.  But here in the US not as much.  I have seen plenty of things with her in them and happen to think she is very pretty but… well, I am bad at favorites in general.  I have to tell someone this at least once a week, the most common question I get from new followers is, “Who are your top X number of celebrities?”  To which I have no good answer because if I could do that I wouldn’t run this blog.  The entire point is that I am pretty indecisive, who I like best changes pretty frequently.  Plus, as my friend @wildflagsure can attest, I am a commitmentphobe.  I can’t be tied down with an actual list of favorites, it holds me back too much.  This bird you cannot chain! But the truth is only a handful of people have been posted more often than Kelly Brook on this blog.  And I don’t know why other than… high quality pics of her latest calendar came out recently and I was like wow.  And that is what seems to happen, pictures of her that are well shot and her looking hot and I guess she just clicks for me.  She is British.  Everyone knows I have a thing for that.  I can’t explain that one either.  I just do.  Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

Here is Ophelia Overdose because there have been like… a bajillion times in recent months I have almost posted her but it hasn’t happened.  Bajillion being an accurate scientific count of how many times.  She sadly isn’t really on tumblr anymore, which is our great loss, but now and then things do pop up with her and that is always a thrill.  It takes away some pressure knowing she probably won’t read this, though. Seriously guys, I have posted multiple people at this point who have read what I have written about them and you have no idea how stressful that is.  Ophelia Overdose is of course an alt model and like all alt models that is code for a person of impressive and expansive talents.  I basically chose whatever pictures caught my eye today and it is impressive what a chameleon she is.  Also at how beautiful some of her pictures are.  Not her.  I mean she is of course attractive but the pictures themselves.  So often she and her photographer have worked together to create amazing art.  Also I chose one cause it’s very knock off Star Wars.  I guess the Turkish Star Wars of Star Wars pictures.  That’s not an insult, Turkish Star Wars is fully amazing if you’ve never seen it and she is pretty open about the fact that that is a Star Wars inspired picture.  I am going to go see it tonight, which is exciting.  I hope.  It could be bad.  Also I included a picture with lots of shoes because that seemed Christmasy at first glance.  I am not sure why.  I don’t think I am getting any shoes fro Christmas and I definitely didn’t buy anyone shoes for Christmas.  I’ll blame my dear friend Katherine for this because if I am thinking about shoes it’s like 99% her fault.  This has gotten really off track but I will bullshit and claim that’s the magic of good art, it makes you think and feel things and you don’t even know why.  Seriously though, her work is full on art, from the clothing she designs to the pictures she’s in.  Today I want to fuck Ophelia Overdose.

Here is Candice Swanepoel because I am really tired today.  I realize that sounds like an odd justification but today I woke up feeling like I’d been hit by a truck.  I have no explination as to why.  I had trouble getting to sleep last night but I did eventually.  Still… I am out of it today.  So like I saw pictures of Candice Swanepoel and my brain basically grunted “pretty girl”  And that’s it.  I have nothing else.  She is beautiful and very good at being beautiful and thus here she is.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepeol.

Emily Ratajkowski was at a thing the other day.  I can’t remember what it was because it was for some store opening or something and the truth is I just don’t care enough to remember that sort of thing.  She looked very good though.  Her top was shiny so I guess that helps/will get me mocked by people who enjoy that obsession of mine.  It was just nice to see her because she’s very pretty and… I think I like pretty girls.  I think it might be a thing I’m into.  Oh well, blog over, I figured it out.  It’s been fun guys.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Here is Kate Upton because kind of my friend Katherine.  You will see me reference Katherine now and then, usually on her birthday, but she doesn’t have a tumblr so I can’t make any cool links.  Anyway, she and I were talking about celebrities last night and it was a fun conversation and because my brain is an asshole the second she left it was like, “You should try to convince Katherine to like Kate Upton”.  Why?  I don’t know.  There is no purpose to this.  And it’s been like 4 years so… it’s not happening.  But this is what my brain does, it decides to suddenly dwell on the thing that htat is the least helpful.  I mean, in the scheme of things it’s all very unimportant but that was my brain’s immediate reaction and it lasted all night and into the morning.  Like, it decided to make me obsessed with Kate Upton and… none of this post makes sense in retrospect.  I can’t really help that, I have Kate Upton on the brain.  Anyway, here she is wearing clothes because it’s really cold out side, so she should cover up, right?  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

So I am fully into Christmas mode now, the Turkey is all gone and I am ready for some Christmas spirit.  So it’s good timing that H&M has been doing a bunch of Christmas themed adverts and Doutzen Kroes’ showed up this weekend.  Which made me think I should get a bunch of Doutzen Kroes Christmas themed pictures for this post.  Thus turned out to be a really big ask.  Other models would have been easier.  So it’s like, winter themed.  Which just isn’t as good but it’s the best I could do.  Of the many odd things I like Christmas themed sexy outfits are one.  I don’t know why, there is no other time red velvet and fur trim do it for me.  I am sure it is some deep-seated childhood issue but I guess it’s deep enough I don’t know why.  Better not to go digging I suppose.  Anyway, here is Doutzen Kroes because she’s gorgeous and guys, it’s 25 days until Christmas! Christmas!  Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.

Here is Anastasia Scheglova who I know next to nothing about which will disappoint @wildflagsure because I have her convinced I know everything about everyone.  This is not my fault though, it seems like no one knows about Anastasia Scheglova.  I know who she is because @she-goes-to-eleven has reblogged her enough that I noticed her.  At first I was like, that girl is pretty who is she.  Then I noticed more and more of her and did some digging and there is nothing out there.  But since I first noticed her she’s showing up everywhere. Now some people would say this is a cognitive bias called the “frequency illusion” (or the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon if you must) but those people are nerds because they use phrases like “cognitive bias”.  No, there is something else going on here.  See, the way I know about people is I have always had a passion for research, ever since I was a kid.  I like knowing things and I like learning.  So I know all about this because even as a child I was dedicated to research.  When the Price Club opened up near my Dad’s house it was the first big warehouse club store I had ever heard of and it was amazing.  There I convinced my dad to buy this huge pack of James Bond movies and I researched the fuck out of those on Summer nights that year.  It’s why I know what it means when a Russian Woman of Mystery suddenly shows up looking this good.  She’s a spy.  This whole thing is a giant Soviet plot.  I mean, she was in some version of Vogue, or at least the website but she appears to have no agency representation?  Clearly the KGB set this up.  Now, some of you might be saying, “But there is no Soviet Union anymore”.  I would say the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.  So as an expert I know the only way to deal with a Russian spy is to seduce her and so I am willing to take that bullet for the Free World.  I know, some of you are going, “So you’re James Bond in this delusion?” Well yeah, it’s my delusion. Look, the most important lesson for you to learn here is not that the Soviet Union is up to some sort of red shenanigans again, I’ve got that shit covered, I’ll save us, no the most important thing is this, never trust someone who disappoints themselves in their own fantasies.  If someone fantasizes about being Moneypenny or Q or something don’t trust that person, that is a person who isn’t even the hero in his own mind and that person will turn on you one day for not hating them as much as you hate yourself.  So remember that, I’ll take care of the spy shit.  Today I want to fuck Anastasia Scheglova.

I don’t really feel like posting today.  After the tragedy of last night it just seems… I dunno, silly.  So I saw some pictures of Rosie Jones and the were mostly naked because that’s what she does.  It seemed simple enough.  Pretty girl, uncomplicated.  That’s all I wanted today.  Here are some pictures of a pretty girl and I hope they make your day a little better.  Today I want to fuck Rosie Jones.

I have felt a strange pressure to post Gigi Hadid lately.  Like… some people are expecting it and disappointed when I don’t.  I get it, we all have our favorites and we like to see them win.  Which, now that I have typed that it’s hilarious because I am positive the biggest win Gigi Hadid could have in her life is me wanting to sleep with her.  She’s probably calling her mom to brag right now.  But I know I had a friend in particular who just expected me to post her after the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.  And she looked good.  My biggest take away though was, “Is Victoria’s Secret going to start selling Fire Fighter’s pants?”   Then I kind of got excited about a world where that’s the new fashion trend.  Women wearing heavy pants with suspenders and a hard plastic helmet.  Maybe the big, heavy coat too for formal occasions.  Part of me wants this because it’s hilarious but also because one time there was a fire in my building at like 3 AM and standing outside I came to the realization as the fire fighters were leaving the building an done woman had her coat undone… fire fighters are hot.  So, there is that.  Anyway, Gigi Hadid looked good.  She looks good.  So here are some runway shots of her for your enjoyment.  May they bring you some good luck today.  I have already suffered my Friday the 13th bad luck in that I have a big paper cut on my index finger right where it hits the mouse.  Terrible, terrible luck.  Oh well.  Today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

So I had someone recently tell me they like my blog because while I clearly am physically attracted to the women I post I don’t make it just about that.  And I really appreciate the compliments.  Seriously, I am always a little blown away when someone sends me a message telling me they like my blog and that is a common compliment.  A compliment that kind of makes me feel like a fraud, too, because one time I posted Kelly Brook and all I did was write variations of the word “boobs” over and over again, which feels reductive and dismissive but at the same time a bit more honest than if I were to dedicate 700 words to why I find Kelly Brook attractive.  Because I happen to find her very attractive and yeah, there is this weird thing where i find myself attracted to a lot of British women and she seems pretty cool when I see her talking about stuff but… look, Kelly Brook was last here 7 months ago, she’s here again and it’s because last night she was at a Christmas Party and there were just boobs everywhere.  Well, not everywhere, they were just in her dress but it felt like they were everywhere because my god, look.  It’s the second picture.  They were metaphorically everywhere because I didn’t see anything else really.  So my options were I could rant about what the fuck are you doing having a Christmas party in November, but I will leave that to more curmudgeonly people, or I could talk about Boobs.  Cause those were my only two take aways.  So I figured why not be more honest, the Christmas thing was shocking but I can’t work up any real emotion about it and I cut my finger so typing is a pain anyway an if you think this is long that would have been super long.  So Kelly Brook is here because she is very pretty.  She has lovely hair.  I like her smile.  And her boobs are ginormous and very nice.  So today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.