Tag: Model

Today’s pick was really hard.  Like hard enough that in the end I am going to feel largely unsatisfied and second guess myself.  When I first saw pictures of Emily Ratajkowski last night I was like, “Oh, obviously her tomorrow”.  Then Charli XCX looked pretty good, too.  Now here is Miranda Kerr who has dressed in possibly the most me fashion a human being can dress.  Like, her outfit is just perfect, I love it.  And it’s not stunning, she’s a highly paid model who often wears lovely clothing but this time it was like she reached into my head to fine my perfect outfit.  Well done.  Seriously, I love it all.  Have I mentioned i love leopard print?  I am not sure that comes up here very often.  I so badly wish I owned a leopard print fur coat.  Full length.  It would go to my ankles and have a big puffy collar.  I would wear it everywhere!  Like… even to the beach.  Which is why it’s good I don’t own such a coat because clearly I would ruin it. Can you imagine what all that salt and sand would do to a leopard print fur coat?  It would be terrible.  But holy fuck would I look fantastic.  I also am willing to take a purple fur coat instead.  Not quite as good but almost. But not purple leopard print, that would be silly. Just in case anyone specifically reads this blog for gift ideas for me.  So anyway, you mix in the everything else and the fact that Miranda Kerr is obviously extremely attractive and she is here today, I didn’t feel like I had a real choice.  Today I want to fuck Miranda Kerr.

I was going to post someone else today but there Candice Swanepoel goes, trying to get my attention again.  It’s pretty blatant at this point.  I mean, dressing as a super hero is kind of the most obvious way to try and get me to notice you.  I am willing to admit that some people, if they work at it, could argue in the past that my claims that Candice Swanepoel is very clearly trying to seduce me have other explanations.  Like, the reasons I keep getting pictures of her in her underwear in the mail is because she “works for a large international clothing company” and her entire job is to “model their clothing including underwear” and their business model has long included “mail order products that include catalog sales” (I wish you guys could see the bitching air quotes I am making with my fingers each time).  Sure, I guess if someone wants to delude themselves they could convince themselves of those things.  But Spider-Gwen?  Come on. Mixing Superheroes and fashion?  Marvel comics superheroes at that?  I mean… it’s pretty blatant.  You’d have to be some sort of lunatic who doesn’t think the world revolves around me to miss how obvious this is.  Pretty tricky, Candy, pretty tricky.  Well, it worked for today.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

So the Super Bowl is today and it always strikes me as a little odd that there is this weird celebrity push around it now.  Not the idea that famous people might show up to watch it, it seems like a fun time, but that the NFL manufactures all these red carpet events around the Super Bowl to just get celebrities there.  Besides just seeming odd I wonder what the point is.  You’re already the most watched thing in America and tonight game will be, as it always is, the most watched thing in the world today, so I am not sure who you are trying to rope in.  Now, I understand, “you already make so much money” is a poor argument because like all major corporations, the NFL’s goal is not to make money but to make all the money.  I just mean… who is going to watch who wasn’t already going to?  January Jones and Ashley Green are on the red carpet last night and who does that make tune in to a football game today?  I am just not sure who was either unaware or uninterested in the Super Bowl who that pushes over the edge.  Of course, I am an idiot to complain because I like red carpets and I like pretty girls.  And I even know that January Jones is a big Broncos fan, so I guess that makes sense.  I have no idea what Emily Ratajkowski thinks about football or the teams playing.  I am just happy for the excuse to post her.  I know she’s in a Super Bowl commercial but… well, who cares.  I take it all back, I don’t care, nice excuse to see Emily Ratajkowski.  She’s hot, she showed up, I am over thinking this.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

I watched the latest Mad Max and to be honest I was expecting to post Charlize Theron but watching it I found myself wondering who the pregnant woman was because she was beautiful.  Well, duh, it was Rosie Huntington-Whiteley who is yes, known for being beautiful.  I know lots of people have found her so and obviously there are much bigger fans of her than me, given I didn’t recognize her.  Unfortunately that’s the thing with models, some catch you some don’t and the ones that don’t kind of fade into a blur of largely blond white women.  So like, if you asked me who Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is I could tell you all about Victoria’s Secret and stuff but apparently you put her in a post apocalyptic future and I can’t pick her out of a truck full of female sex slaves.  Which, by the way, I dug the movie and while I already knew MRAs were ridiculous the fact that they were up in arms about this is extra ridiculous.  I mean, basically they are claiming it’s feminist propaganda because it’s… anti slavery by despotic rulers?  Does that mean MRAs are pro slavery and anti-democracy?  Cause… that’s kinda the only conclusion I can come to.  Whoops, guys, you’re sad, sad, juvenile rage at the fact that you can’t get every single thing you want in life exactly when and how you want it is showing.  Anyway, the movie was good (good is an understatement.  The last half and hour is among the best things I have ever seen in an action movie.  Go see it if you haven’t), Rosie was very attractive and so she is here.  Today I want to fuck Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

I am not entirely sure how Rosie Jones ended up here today.  I went into this attempting to post someone else and never got to that point, instead I find myself suddenly adding pictures of Rosie Jones.  I mean, it’s not like I blacked out or something I just don’t even remember how I ended up in my Rosie Jones folder.  I guess boobs.  I mean that seems likely, she can be distracting.  I have posited before that she exists as like an MI-5 project to protect classified information.  I had a friend who didn’t even notice Rosie was standing in front of a Union Jack and I guess she has that effect.  If you’re building a secret spy plane just have her stand around the spy plane, no one will notice.  So I guess maybe that same principle is how I went from not posting her to typing this and not really knowing why.  Of course, I also have to dig through so many pictures of her because she is naked in a large number of them so hunting for the non naked pictures takes some effort.  I mean, I realize this is on par with complaining about too much chocolate cake or something but it isn’t easy.  Whatever magic power she has, here she is, because she’s hot.  Today I want to fuck Rosie Jones.

Here is Anastasia Scheglova whose name I can almost spell without looking.  Almost. Well… I may actually be able to but I don’t have confidence so I get to her last name, start typing and then pause to look it up to make sure I have it right.  She is here today on account of attractiveness.  Which I guess sums up this blog for the most part but I don’t know that much more about her.  But @she-goes-to-eleven has started posting 11 pictures of her favorite girls and started with Anastasia the other day.  You can find her post here.  That is worth looking at but nakedness guys, lots of nakedness over there.  Anyway, Anastasia Scheglova is all over the internet these days, or at least the parts I stumble across.  She is very pretty so today I want to fuck Anastasia Scheglova.

Here is Emily DiDonato because she ended up being in Harper’s Bazaar Singapore because while print is dead it’s corpse still washes up in localized forms on the shores of every nation in the world.  It’s kind of a good thing if you like models though because it means there are always editorials out there, even if you didn’t know that every magazine has a different edition for each country.  Now, I feel like I have been very model heavy lately and I think that annoys a few of my friends.  You have my apologies, it’s honestly just an example of me being easily influenced.  Most TV shows are gone for the winter and I only see so many movies.  So you know what I end up seeing?  Models because they keep working, so their work remains consistent but they became a huge percentage of what I see.  Also, because I am easily influenced the fact that my friend @whole-lies-and-half-smiles won’t shut up about models doesn’t help.  She is fully obsessed with models and won’t stop talking about them and eventually your brain just gives in when someone is that passionate about something.  Anyway, here is Emily DiDonato because she is very pretty and I love her eyes.  I saw someone claim the other day you only compliment a girl’s eyes if she’s ugly but I am going to come out and say Emily DiDonato is proof otherwise.  Today I want to fuck Emily DiDonato.

Merry Christmas one and all!  Here is Candice Swanepoel for Christmas because of that first picture which, let’s be honest, anyone who knows me knows is kind of a thing for me.  The Christmas themed lingerie.  Just further proof Candice Swanepoel is obsessed with me and again trying to attract my attention.  Since it’s Christmas I am throwing her a bone and posting her, I am sure it will mean a lot to her.  That is what happened.  I am full of Christmas spirit.  Anyway, I hope everyone has a good day.  I know Christmas isn’t always happy for everyone and if you’re one of those people be strong.  You can get through this and if you need to you can send me a message, I have my phone, I’ll respond even if it takes a little bit.  Maybe pictures of a beautiful woman will take the sting away.  Marry Christmas everyone, today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

I woke up thinking about Emily Ratajkowski this morning.  I think I had some sort of dream about her but I only have snippets.  It had something to do with her being in a movie.  Which is not really particularly out there dream.  Anyway, I was thinking about her when I woke up and am still thinking about her so here she is.  I happen to find her quite attractive and should have more to say than that but I don’t, my sleep is a mess and I am getting ready to travel for the holiday which is gross.  So I will leave it there. Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Here is Hannah Ray: model, photographer, entrepreneur.  When I posted her before I posted this article about what she does for a living and the career she has built for herself and I am reposting it because that article got me more things in my inbox than anything had in a very long time.  Basically people loved it and found her very impressive.  I get it, so did I, it’s why I posted it and why I posted her.  Though I would point out if you want to express that she is impressive you can cut out the middle man and just go to one of her blogs (@hannahrayninja or @captainhanski) and tell her yourself.  I mean, you don’t have to.  It could ignore her but in general compliments land a little better when you tell them to the person rather than to someone they don’t know who runs a shitty blog. Anyway, she is here again because she is still impressive and that bottom picture of her in that Vans coat has been on my mind.  It stood out to me and apparently it was in a publication recently and that made me feel smart.  Like, hey, I noticed that was great.  Clearly I am a genius of some kind.  But really it’s great and while her modeling is good I would encourage everyone to check out her photography as well, I think she’s excellent.  Um… also she has a great smile, it’s one of those smiles that seems like a whole body thing, truly joyful.  Those are always nice because they feel infectious.  Even through pictures.  I dunno, I am out of things to say because I am pretty tired.  Christmas’ approach has me busy.  Today I want to fuck Hannah Ray.