Some days I can’t really think of anything too exciting to say. I guess some people would argue that that is every day. Those people are dicks. Why would they even bring that up? Or follow me if they don’t like what I have to say. My hypothetical critics are clearly sad, pathetic people with nothing better to do than imaginarily mock me. Douches. Anyway, here is Gigi Hadid because she is pretty and for I guess no other reason. I felt like posting her today. Today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.
Here is Emily Ratajkowski cause apparently posting her is just what I do now. It feels like it’s been a lot lately but she has been circulating around the periphery of my life recently. And she’s very attractive so I can’t help but notice. I can kind of tell when someone has a lot of heat just by the number of 5 year old pictures that start surfacing as never before seen outtakes from this photoshoot or whatever. There have been a bunch of those recently. I am not complaining. I like her. I hope you do, too, but I won’t be upset if you’re one of those people who have told me she’s meh. I am used to being a person of superior taste, it’s a burden I have and will continue to carry. Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.
I was about to post Emily Ratajkowski today and it would have been the 4th time in 11 days, which is really often. It carries the flaw of leaving me little to say and the occasional snide comment. Well, luckily Kate Upton stepped in to save the day with a V Magazine shoot she and some other models did. I saw that and actually said, “Oh my god”. That is the Kate Upton I have been missing. I don’t know what’s different but oh my god. And for those of you who know me, like really know me, you will understand that picture feels almost liek it was taken just for me. It’s amazing. And believe it or not, the person I have posted the most ever is showing up here to give a nice change of pace. Because oh my god! Just… my god, today I want to fuck Kate Upton.
I feel like I just keep repeating myself over and over again in the past few weeks but it isn’t really my fault, they are the people who keep showing up. I basically had two people in mind today after looking around and couldn’t decide and finally Emily Ratajkowski won out but both of them are people I have posted in the last week. This blog has taught me that if nothing else I am very easily influenced. Big press push for something so a girl shows up everywhere? I am going to post her more. That’s just how it works. I see something about Hamburgers on TV and then I am suddenly craving hamburgers. When I was younger I considered myself a radical individualist, out to cut my own path. As I have grown older I have come to realize that is their favorite type to market to. This got a little conspiracy theory there but you know… Emily Ratajkowski is hot and I hope this movie is good because dear lord are they pushing it. Oddly, I am still so what on any desire to see the movie but Emily Ratajkowski is getting two thumbs up. Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.
Today has just been shitty. Stressful, lame, angering. And you know I am just getting home and I thought it would get better but it’s not. It’s lame. Of course, my favorite book as a child told me there’d be days like this, even in Australia. So I didn’t get to post until now on account of my day. I got home and was looking at new pictures and… there were some of Candice Swanepoel in a bikini and they made me happier. I liked them for some reason. And I don’t mean happier in some pervy way but you know just… I like pretty pictures. I like pretty girls. Maybe I like seeing people smile? I don’t know, it just makes me realize how lucky I am because if pictures of Candice Swanepoel in a bathing suit makes me happy I have basically an endless supply. About the only thing more convenient would be tap water. If tap water made me happy that might be luckier. Or not. There is climate change. That could make tap water harder to find than picture of Candice Swanepoel. I guess technically the good news there is Candice Swanepoel will only get hotter? Welp, I am making dad jokes now so I am out. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.
I know I just posted Emily Ratajkowski on Monday. I am aware. I am the one who posted her. I am also aware some people get annoyed when I repeat myself too frequently. Well, tough. It’ snot my fault. Did you see how good she has looked walking around London and shit this week? When I saw the pictures of her at the We Are Your Friends premier I actually said wow. Cause it was wow. She looks amazing. And yes, yes, shiny dress. At least one of you will find that hilarious. It’s not my fault that she looks amazing in an amazing dress. Don’t hate me for having great taste. It’s a burden I bear without complaining, so you can deal with it, too. Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.
I am going to go out on a limb here and declare that Emily Ratajkowski is very attractive. I know it’s a radical opinion but that’s why you come here, for groundbreaking revelations. Pretty Girls are Pretty, you heard it here first. Anyway, she looked very good in her GQ shoot from last week and she apparently got glasses in the past few days and I thought her glasses looked great on her. It is why I had to tell you she’s pretty though because we all know a girl with glasses is just a ponytail away from no one realizing she’s hot until she has to get really dressed up for something. Anyway, today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.
I am posting late today. Usually when this happens I couldn’t think of someone or was torn between multiple people or something. It is inspiration driven somehow, either too much or too little. Today i just got busy and next thing I know it’s almost time for femalecelebrityoftheday to post. Whoops. Well, here is Alexis Ren. I am not sure if i hadn’t gotten distracted I would have posted her this morning because I don’t think I had anyone in mind really. But usually someone pops into my head at some point. For some reason in the past when I have posted her I have waxed Philosophical or waxed nostalgic or… waxed something else you wax. The moon? Hardwood floors? Do you wax those? Man, I have hardwood floors, I should really look into how you take care of those. Anyway, she’s just here because she’s pretty and today I want to fuck Alexis Ren.
A few times this week discussions that have not been about Miss Mosh have caused me to think about Mosh. And bring up Mosh. So here’s Mosh cause clearly I am thinking about her. This is likely because I think she is one of the most beautiful people on the planet. She came up, I wanted to look for a specific picture of her but instead got distracted looking at pictures of her because again, she is beautiful, and next thing I know I am like, well, gotta post Mosh. There is lot so commend her and i have written about it in the past but today it is just because she is a vision. She just looks so amazingly good. Today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.
At 23 years old I stood on a train platform in a distant city and watched the reflection of a sunset on the Biltmore. The glass was full of vivid yellows and red and it was beautiful and painful and sad. I had been told by movies and pop songs since my youth that nothing gold could stay and in that moment i knew it to be true. We had taken a trip to rekindle something that may have never been there in retrospect and I knew at that moment this weekend was the last good time we would ever have together. There is a melancholy to the end of things. I always feel it because I am painfully nostalgic for things that never even really existed. This is all quite a strange way to start an entry but it is where my mind has gone. We grow as people and things change, we grow apart, we grow to the point where we aren’t the same person we were a few years ago. My obsession with Kate Upton is rather well documented, she was being posted almost twice a month for a long time. She rarely shows up anymore. She is still pretty. I still think she’s pretty buit interestingly a lot of the spark is gone for me. I couldn’t tell you why. I have simply moved on. And that made me think of the setting sun as I stretched my legs for the few moments they would allow, it isn’t that I will never post her again. Nor that I will never think of her. But I am relatively confident that part of my life is behind me. And I am the sort of person who apparently gets nostalgic for celebrity crushes. Or maybe it’s just the black and white. She is pretty though. Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.
Who I want to Fuck Today 