Tag: retrocrush

I spent last night watching a bunch of episodes of the Avengers. The old British TV show that was probably what most people thought of when they heard the name The Avengers until sometime in the last decade or so. Or, most people probably thought, “huh, what?” But maybe more people thought of the quirky British TV show before they thought of the comic book. Anyway, I had caught and episode or two in the past and found it full of British charm but I have a friend who has recently become obsessed whit it so I decided to sit down and catch a few episodes and that turned into a handful because it really is fun. It’s a mix of silly and serious with a wry British wit. It reminds me of the best parts of the Roger Moore James bond and none of the flaws. Of course, Diana Rigg was a Bond girl. She was in the one everyone said sucked when I was a kid and everyone thinks is great now. She is why I am posting. I kind of couldn’t decide who I was posting, Diana Rigg or her character Emma Peel and the truth is it is a bit of both. Emma Peel is very crush worthy because she’s amazing. I get why she is a feminist icon. My friend Katherine told me she is her favorite hero because she doesn’t exist to be saved by a man. And one thing that was striking to me watching the show is that she and John Steed are completely equal. The entire show operates as if it never occurred to anyone making it that someone might treat a woman as less than equal. Certainly it never occurs to refined gentleman John Steed that Emma Peel is anything but his equal. That alone makes the show feel radical (along with there being nothing sexual between them. Television and media in general has a hard time accepting any male/female friendship without trying to insert some sort of romance. It’s one of the many issues I have with fandoms and shippers actually). So I was thinking of posting Emma Peel because she is awesome and on top of that she is funny and stylish and just oozes charisma. But that felt like a disservice to the actress, who surely is responsible for a great deal of that. Perhaps the oddest thing is most people reading this may not recognize her but she is a major character in Game of Thrones. It’s strange how the world keeps moving no matter what we wish. So I have settled on Diana Rigg, knowing it is a mix. I love what she has done with Emma Peel in what I have seen and good god is she easy to look at. Today I want to fuck Diana Rigg.

Here is Veronica Lake dressed as a spooooooooooky witch for you guys cause Halloween is right around the corner.  Ok, maybe not that spooky, since it is from a romantic comedy but I am going to just guess most of my followers have never seen I Married a Witch so you don’t know that.  So trust me, it’s completely spooky.  It’s about an centuries old curse!  WooooooooO!  All of that is actually true but you know, tone is important.  She came up in conversation yesterday and honestly, the present day costumes sure are letting me down this year.  Luckily, we always have nostalgia to fall back on, the golden memories of yesteryear that we can twist to suit our desires so that the past always proves us right one way or another.  Speaking of nostalgia, Pigeon Foo replied to this ask yesterday and I enjoyed it because I love Halloween and I want to hear about people’s Halloweens.  I have already shared my favorite memories there but I can dig deep for another story.  During the end of my trick or treating days, I can’t remember what but we had entered the point where it was terribly uncool to care about anything, which I assume is still a thing that happens but was maybe the motto of my entire generation, caring is for losers, and I tried too hard with my costume.  Which wasn’t really all that hard, it was basically a grim reaper robe and scythe and then I painted my face and probably did a crummy job of it.  In general I lack artistic talent and while I can often imagine things and how I want them to look the translation from brain to pen really fucks things up and my picture ends up looking lamer than a stick figure.  So my face paint of a super scary skeleton face was probably terrible. But more importantly someone invited Josh Cox along and I fucking hated Josh Cox.  I think one of my friends liked him but I always thought he was a back full of dicks, which was convenient because his last name was Cox and I could be a vicious little shit and my only real revenge was to make fun of people until it caught on, and boy did I have a field day with the last name Cox back in Junior High.  I might secretly be the villain of this story actually.  Oh well.  Anyway, his grandfather had founded the country club in the neighborhood we were going to trick or treat in (houses around a country club often give good candy.  Like full sized candy bars.  It was insane).  We were so convinced that we were going get a lot of candy we didn’t bring bags or little plastic buckets, we brought pillow cases this time and everyone but me brought multiple masks so they could go back to the good houses more than once.  This is where the mocking lead by ol’ Josh Coxsucker (one of my many hyper clever nicknames I gave him in 6th grade) came in.  They all were just wearing t-shirts and jeans and a mask.  I had tried too hard.  He told me flat out no one would ever want to make out with me with all that face paint on.  Which, I’ll be honest, in retrospect feels like a real win for me.  I didn’t want to make out with any of the people we were trick or treating with.  Which I guess left the adults who were giving us candy.  I don’t remember wanting to make out with any of them and frankly if the only thing that was preventing them from making out with me was the face paint then I dodged a real bullet!  Sorry pedophiles, I have face paint on.  Anyway, often I have a point to these stories that ties everything back in and I guess I do here.  I guess my point is that Josh Cox was a dickhead and what’s the point of having a blog with thousands of followers if you can’t defame some kid from Junior High when you suddenly remember he existed for the first time in years.  Take that, Josh.  You suck.  Veronica Lake is awesome.  And if you are reading this please feel free to reblog with one of your favorite Halloween Memory or send it to me or whatever.  I genuinely want to know.  Today I want to fuck Veronica Lake.

So here is Susan Strasberg because I was watching Scream of Fear and she was in it and very pretty.  The movie is also pretty solid as far as second tier early 60’s psychological horror movies go.  That sounds like faint praise but it’s Hammer and you can’t go to Hammer expecting prestige pictures, they have limitations.  I am setting expectations is all, for the kind of studio Hammer is this is a really good example of the kind of stuff they make.  You may or may not recognize Susan Strasberg but her name at least should be familiar.  This is because she is the daughter of perhaps the most famous acting coach of all time, Lee Strasberg.  On top of that she had a very long career.  I actually have seen her in a lot of movies over the years.  This is one of her earlier roles and I didn’t recognize her but now it makes sense that I liked how she played things so much, she has chops.  She also is classically beautiful.  I actually thought she looked like Anne Hathaway from some angles, which does sort of sum it up, the whole classically beautiful thing.  Anyway, good movie, good actress, guys, it’s October.  How great is October.  Without an October this post wouldn’t even exist.  Today I want to fuck Susan Strasberg.

This is Catherine Deneuve one of the biggest stars of French Cinema ever.   I am not sure exactly where she ranks because I am not French and as such I couldn’t tell you if she is more famous than Isabelle Huppert or Jean-Luc Goddard, I just know she’s up there.  Also, of note, she was also the face of Marianne, the embodiment of the French Republic, in the 80’s, so given the Laetitia Casta post the other day, maybe that is a thing I am into this week. Who knew?  She is famous is my point, yet I would forgive many of you for not knowing her, I kind of just recognize her cause I have seen a few movies but have to look up how to spell her name.  She is most famous for being beautiful to look at, mysterious on screen, and basically not aging for like 40 years. Seriously, look at picture of her at 50 and pictures of her at 20 and sure her hair changed but otherwise it’s strikingly similar.  So she is unchanging but I am not.  She is here because I rewatched The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, which I will forgive you for not knowing.  A friend suggested it as a good companion to La La Land and it made sense the second I heard that and I did want to rewatch. It is a strikingly beautiful but sad movie about love and how it doesn’t always conquer all but maybe that’s ok.  What I find striking is just how much of art comes from what we bring to the table.  My views on the movie now are very different than they were when I was younger.  I always liked it but it is richer now, stronger, and I find my sympathies lie in multiple directions now.  There are no villains here, though in younger days I did want to cast Catherine Deneuve’s Genevieve as such.  Perception and age can change the way you view things, love included.  It is a gorgeous movie to look at and listen to and is moving.  I highly recommend it if you think you might enjoy a French musical.  Or not.  Of course, Catherine Deneuve was quite beautiful in it and you can see why someone would be so smitten with her.  Today I want to fuck Catherine Deneuve.

I wasn’t sure what to do today but I have thoughts and I need to share them so I will.  Carrie Fisher was remarkable for a lot of reasons and very few of them had to do with Star Wars.  I wrote some about it here  when I posted her years ago but it’s more than that.  I know this year has not been great in a lot of ways but part of the reason this stings is because it is a woman who really didn’t come into her own until much later in life, until after the point most people would consider her peak.  If you have never read one of Carrie Fisher’s books I would recommend it but read her stories or not, her story is important.  Carrie Fisher very well could have been dead long before I was able to differentiate between Princess Leia and Carrie Fisher.  There are lots of reasons for this, the pressures of growing up in an anything but normal household, of oppressive fame and the weight of expectations, of undiagnosed mental illnesses, of heavy drug use that was no doubt self medicating to fix all of that.  The world can be hard and unforgiving, even for royalty, be it space royalty or Hollywood royalty.  It can crush us and not everyone makes it through.  There is no shame in that.  But there is pride in fighting back and dragging yourself out.  Which she did.  Carrie Fisher saved her own life through grit, determination, her intelligence and her will.  She could have been a Hollywood cautionary tale or maybe even worse a living punchline but she refused to be.  Even though throughout the early 90’s it sure felt like people wanted to force her into the latter category she refused to let them with her wit and smarts she became an in demand script doctor and a writer and refused to let the world around her define her, she defined herself with her own pen.  And of late it seems like most of the world woke up to what a acerbic delight she was, more clever and more canny than most people knew how to deal with.  So it’s a tragedy she left so early when circumstances made us wait so long. She drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra. She will be greatly missed. Today I want to fuck Carrie Fisher.

So I was watching an episode of The Monkees last night and it revolved around the band meeting a hot girl at the laundry mat and all falling in love with her.  I saw her and was like, oh, she’s pretty.  Then she stood up and I was like, wow, she’s… we’ll say I will say she looked pretty.  Then I was like, hey, she looks familiar.  So I looked it up and it was non other than Julie Newmar.  Now, I remember thinking Catwoman was pretty as a kid watching old episodes of Batman but I didn’t remember Catwoman looking quite like that. Maybe tight white is a better look than sparkly black?  Who knew.  I of course immediately messaged my friend @lunoboom to let her know because she’s into old ladies.  And I had to tell someone.  I guess I should have kept watching Batman?  I just kind of thought it was lame even as a kid.  I knew it was too silly to be the Batman I wanted.  Anyway, it isn’t like this is news to most people but it turns out Julie Newmar was smoking hot.  So today I want to fuck Julie Newmar.

I watched Gilda last night because I was feeling heavy hearted and my mind was in a place that watching some Film Noir just felt like the right thing to do. As a result, here is Rita Hayworth, who was born not a Hayworth but a Cansino.  The studio changed her name and dyed her hair red because if people thought she was too ethnic they wouldn’t see her in movies.  Who knows if this is true, Hollywood has a lot of bullshit rationalizations for their racism.  Be it the public or the system, the result is the same, the world is a cesspool and as such the good get doused in shit and the bad are just aware enough to float to the top if they want.  Differences are to be eliminated because it makes us feel more secure.  We crave order more than justice and especially if that order keeps us safe at the expense of some other guy’s liberty.  Sorry, this isn’t cheery I guess. In fairness, I said I was in the mood for Film Noir so I wasn’t in the best place with my view of humanity.  It’s a genre that at it’s best is bleak and it’s view of the human condition and more importantly the way man treats man is at its lightest described as dark.  Anyway, this is Rita Hayworth’s best known role and to many people the defining Femme Fatale.  It makes sense because she is conniving, manipulative, and is has a sexuality to her so white hot I am surprised the celluloid didn’t burst into flame.  It’s a neat trick to make a character you know would be trouble but even as you’re watching you know you’d fall for it.  Hayworth was known for her iconic red hair, which as said earlier wasn’t really red.  She was one of the premier sex symbols of the 40’s and I included the most iconic poster of her in this set so you can see it.  It’s the poster that inspired the Shawshank Redemption and who knows how many fantasies (I think, I can’t remember, it all gets mixed up in my memories sometimes).  It was a good movie, I had seen it before but had almost forgotten how much I enjoyed it.  Rita Hayworth alone is worth the price of admission.  Today I want to fuck Rita Hayworth.

I am just a little bit too young for Cindy Crawford.  I don’t mean that in the oh she’d shoot me down because I am too young, obviously she would never shoot me down, clearly I could land any celebrity I wanted, this blog is here cause uh… I don’t feel like sleeping with any of them?  I mean that I fully remember when she was among the most famous people on the planet and I would say generally accepted to be the hottest woman alive.  I even remember her Pepsi commercial and yeah, she looked really good in a white t-shirt and jeans, it’s not an accident that picture is here because that is what my mind flashes back to when I imagine Cindy Crawford at the height of her powers.  But I was too young to like… be in love with her or have a crush or whatever.  Oh, I was into girls but not quite willing to admit that except to myself secretly, but I went for much more non threatening girls.  A supermodel?  Even in my fantasies I couldn’t come up with a situation where that worked, it just felt uncomfortable to me as an 11 year old.  Rogue?  Kitty Pryde?  Psylocke?  That I could work out in my head, somehow that one worked a little better.  Yes, I am aware I was painfully lame.  Cindy was on WTF recently though and it made me feel a bit nostalgic for those days and I actually found her rather charming to listen to.  She had interesting thoughts on beauty, the pressures on girls to be beautiful, motherhood and growing old and growing up.  I enjoyed it.  Also, today is @soulblazer12 birthday and he pretty clearly wants someone to wish him happy birthday, which I get because that growing old thing, it can be really scary.  He is also just enough older than me that he was not too young to be swept up in Cindy Crawford love and i believe he is quite a fan.  So it works out well.  So here she is, in all her 90’s glory and oh god I just realized some of you are younger than these pictures.  Awesome.  Today I want to fuck Cindy Crawford.

This one feels like a strange one.  Not to me but maybe to everyone else.  I have been aware Linda Blair was hot in the 80’s for a long time.  I think since I saw Hell Night as a preteen, which, in my defense, she was exactly what a preteen would notice.  It took place on Halloween night and she was dressed as what I can only describe as a boob princess, which is a fancy dress that seemed to be entirely designed to show off her boobs.  I would normally mock this kind of costume choice except it’s a movie and I’ve seen plenty of Halloween costumes over the years so it’s basically Cinema Verite.  Anyway, being the little girl from the exorcist she showed up in a lot of horror movies later in her career and I always think she looks good.  I just know that’s probably what makes it strange because all anyone else knows her as is the girl from the exorcist and I doubt (and hope) no one sees that and thinks about how sexy it is.  So I guess most people didn’t know she was hot, just me and Rick James.  Anyway, I watched a movie called Witchery the other night but not for her, I watched it for the Hoff and because there was an ice storm outside so I had decided it was a good night to just stay in and watch movies.  I fell asleep like half way through.  It was amazingly bad.  Now, a lot of people would not go back and rewatch the end of a movie they have declared “amazingly bad” but if you are surprised I did then you really don’t know me at all, do you internet?  So yeah, it was bad but Linda Blair was in it and she looked good.  Also naked in the half I slept through, so worth rewatching if that’s if that’s your thing.  I enjoyed it, it isn’t the first time I have thought about posting her, now I am.  Today I want to fuck Linda Blair.

So exciting news for me and no one else on Earth most likely, Hammer has an official tumblr @hammerofficial.  I was very excited when I found out and the problem with exciting news like this is it’s most fun shared but there was no one to share with.  So I decided to tell my dear friend Izzy (@lunoboom) because I knew she’s kind of humor me and also because I told her, “I know you also like old ladies”.  Which, I will admit, once I had typed I realized I phrased it poorly.  I meant women from past eras.  Anyway, we talked about it this morning and I showed her Valerie Leon among others and Izzy decided to use science to back up my notions that she is hot. Her scientific conclusion was, “Damn”.  So it’s agreed, multiple countries and sexual orientations find Valerie Leon hot.  You’re welcome, Planet Earth, if you want to give me the Nobel my ask box is open!  Anyway, it got me thinking that yeah, Valerie Leon is pretty hot.  So today I want to fuck Valerie Leon.