No one has ever actually submitted a proper entry to me here, and that’s cool, though if you do submit a picture and a write up the chances are I will publish it if it isn’t totally crude.  What I do get submitted are two things, I get people who send me pictures asking if I know who the girl is.  That is totally fine, I will gladly help a brother (or sister) out if I can, I know how frustrating it can be. The other baffling submission I get (and it’s usually a submission, not a question) are people asking me to get them in touch with a celebrity.  Usually because they want to sleep with them.  I’ll be honest, I wish it worked that way but if I had both the ability to contact someone I have posted and the ability to get them to sleep with someone… well, it would probably be me, not you.  I love you guys but not that much.  Which brings me to my point, if you guys really loved me you’d get me Kate Upton, it’s more than a month until my birthday so I feel like I am giving you plenty of time here.  Yes, I know Kristen Bell is my favorite but that’s clearly fate, one day our hands will accidentally touch reaching for the same book, sparks will fly and I’ll stay at home raising our children and baking cookies while she is launched to super stardom when a series of Veronica Mars movies break box office records.  So, I don’t need you to get me her.  What I want is Kate Upton.  She seems like a much better gift anyway because there is just something primal in my attraction to her.  She is just built to draw the eye and I don’t just mean that as some sort of crude allusion to her breasts.  It seems everything about her is just made to be what is desirable.  And let’s be honest, the best presents are always toys.  Oh sure the book or the sweater might get more use but they hardly make your eyes widen with excitement.  Of course, I am really entering dangerous territory here talking about her being a toy but let’s not read too much into this, what I am really saying is people seem to think I have this power so if someone out there actually does… I’ll be your best friend forever.  And I’m a really good friend!  I’ll help you move.  Assuming Kate and I aren’t busy.  But I promise I’ll come up with the best excuse when I bail on you.  Only the best for my best friend.  So, hypothetical best friend, how about the best for me?  How about Kate?  I guess I should end this and go ahead and say today I want to fuck Kate Upton.