I often declare a “winner” of various events that gather celebrities.  Usually award shows or something but sometimes other events.  I do this because in general I assume every person on the internet is deeply concerned as to what my opinion is on these things.  This is because I am a dangerously unhinged egomaniac but it’s all good because at least I am a self-aware dangerously unhinged egomaniac.  I have never declared a winner for the CFDA Fashion Awards before because until late last night I had no fucking clue they existed.  Now I know and Rihanna won.  And you might think this is because she was basically naked and you wouldn’t be entirely wrong because as much as my attraction to her is an up and down roller coaster of an experience she is undeniably beautiful and almost naked is a good look on her.  But also that dress is amazing, see through or not it just is amazing.  Her is where I sound like the yokel who got kicked in the head by a mule but I really like shiny things.  But I mean it, that dress, the way it shimmers and drapes and yes, her amazing body, it just creates something that is impossible to look away from.  So she won, I have been thinking about it since last night and she won.  Today I want to fuck Rihanna.