Tag: Rihanna

The Ocean’s 8 premiers have largely left me disappointed because I really expected them to be cavalcade of oh my god and they haven’t been. Which is fine but also you know, disappointing. I am posting Rihanna cause she looked pretty good at the most recent European premier though… well, she has yet to wear anything that completely blew me away. Which is a pretty high standard I know but it’s Rihanna, it’s the standard she has set. I remember getting in trouble for a bunch of B’s on my report card as a kid but my best friend was given a cake for passing every class and I felt that was a bit unfair (and it was) but there are different expectations for different people and the expectation for Rihanna is generally set at amazing or higher. So I liked what she wore but it didn’t blow me away. Maybe she just was showing female solidarity. There are a lot of women in the film and showing other people up is kind of a dick move. I could believe that, Rihanna seems like a pretty decent sort in that way. Anyway, disappointing Rihanna is still pretty great, in the scheme of things, so I am posting her. That feels important to say, “Rihanna doesn’t look as good as she does sometimes” is the same as, “Rihanna looks better than almost everyone else ever”. So you know, again, it’s a matter of expectation more than anything. She looks good. Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

Rihanna is here because it really doesn’t take a lot to make me want to post Rihanna. Her showing up in a magazine is usually enough. In this case she is going to be in the June issue of Vogue and thus here she is, on my blog. It’s pretty simple math and I am not sure anyone can blame me because Rihanna is of course ridiculously beautiful. She just is. Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

Here is Rihanna because Rihanna is one of those people who can look good in anything. It’s just a big part of her thing. She is beautiful and always looks good. So there was a launch for some of her beauty stuff and she showed up and it was like, oh right, Rihanna looks amazing because she’s Rihanna. I am amazed at how good some of what she wears looks and yet I don’t think anyone else could pull it off. This isn’t she looks so good she transcends an ugly dress or something. It legitimately is gorgeous stuff, it’s just stuff that somehow I don’t think anyone else could pull off. It would look wrong on everyone else in the world. That’s an impressive feat for her. Also, terrible for Goodwill. Just saying. I have never seen her wear the same thing twice so I am just imagining it in some goodwill store and everyone looks at it and goes, “Wow, that’s amazing but… no, I can’t pull it off”. Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

So my buddy @femalecelebrityoftheday said yesterday that pictures have been really light and he’s almost out of people to post.  I get what he is saying.  Since around Thanksgiving basically nothing has happened in the world of celebrity gossip and pictures and so on.  I get what he means because I have felt the same way, though it seems hard to imagine actually running out.  For example, I am posting Rihanna today because she has shown up in Vogue Paris.  But even if she hadn’t I don’t think the world is going to run out of Rihanna pics.  Not soon I hope.  I guess even those are a finite resource but I feel generally like if I need to I can find them.  But I do know what he means, it’s almost an inspiration thing.  Rihanna is one of the most beautiful people on the entire planet but if she hadn’t been in a French Magazine it never would have occurred to me to post her.  I blame TV and video games for ruining my attention span.  Anyway, the shoot is awesome, it has this sort of retro feel to it that for some reason made me think of Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face.  If you are going to evoke a feeling of an old star you certainly could do worse.  So when I saw them I knew I was going to post Rihanna because again, remarkably beautiful, good photoshoot.  It’s easy.  I did do my due diligence though, I looked and nope, no one else beat her today.  I uh.. weird, I lost my train of thought.  I can’t remember, I guess my attention wandered.  I should say something about our attention spans sometime.  Oh well.  Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

Here’s some Rihanna because that is never a bad thing.  I saw some clips of her in that Valerian movie and she looked pretty good.  So I am posting her.  I don’t have a lot to say really.  I saw someone say something about her looking like a “real woman” and thank god, I for one am tired of our celebrity culture being infected by what are obviously robots.  Michael Bay and those Transformers movies have really done a number on pop culture.  Thank god Rihanna is here for that.  Not like all those cyborgs and automatons you see now.  If I see one more Roomba on the red carpet I will lose it.  Roombas are for vacuuming, not for acting.  It’s not natural.  So thank you, internet commenter, for pointing out that Rihanna is a real woman, and not made of circuits and metal, or in the rare instances made of wood by a puppet maker and brougth to life by magic.  Someone needed to stand up that.  Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

I saw Rihanna was in Barbados the other day and that is usually a good sign because while I am not an expert, I feel like this is the time of year we’ll get to see her in Barbados’ Harvest Festival, Crop Over.  I was right.  This always pays off.  Recently I was talking about outfits Rihanna can pull off that normal people can’t and this qualifies.  I mean, I couldn’t wear that certainly.  I shouldn’t try for lots of reasons.  Of course, in this case I think people can agree that the outfits are gorgeous, they always are at these Carnivals around the world, by the way, whatever your stance on Religion I think we should all say thank you to the Catholic Church for that at least, but as pretty as the outfits are, to really pull it off you have to be remarkably beautiful.  So Rihanna can pull them off with ease but the rest of us would look pretty silly.  Anyway, this year’s look is the best she has ever had.  I assume.  There aren’t pictures of her as a kid growing up in Barbados, so maybe she had some killer outfits then but of the ones I have seen because she was famous so the news was reporting on it, this years is the best.  She looks amazing. From the color of her hair and how it compliments everything to the cut and the headdress, it’s all just awesome.  Go look up more pictures of it.  So I have included outfits from various years at Crop Over.  I think.  I think it’s name changed at once.  I should just say at the Harvest Festival or something.  Because obviously, that’s why you’re looking at this post.  You are here for the pedantry.  Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

After complaining about the lack of Rihanna last week, it seems someone listened this week and at the London premier of that movie that the verdict is it’s pretty but terrible we get a lot of Rihanna pictures.  Maybe it’s the European press being more savvy, maybe it’s just the impact of this blog on the culture at large, it’s impossible to know which it is.  The point is she looked good because that’s what she does.  Like to an astonishing degree because her dress was a thing I felt like I shouldn’t like.  I feel like on someone else I wouldn’t like it, it would feel too… I am not even sure, too a lot of things.  It works for Rihanna though because she’s Rihanna.  It’s what she does really.  I guess that’s confidence or just being so sylish you can make things that shouldn’t work work  Being beautiful probably helps, too, we don’t need to get into my shirt theory again, do we?  Probably not.  Anyway, here she is in dresses that I feel wouldn’t work on anyone else but are absolutely outstanding on her.  Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

Man, today was a mess.  I didn’t forget to post, I just couldn’t before now.  Sorry those of you I panicked (one person noticed.  It’s @femalecelebrityoftheday, I promise you he’s the only one who noticed).  Anyway, here is Rihanna who probably would have been posted yesterday if I had been able to find decent pictures of her at this premier. Like, I could find picutres of a bunch of other people for this movie but not Rihanna.  There were some like… blurry pictures taken through bushes or something.  It’s like you have all these great pictures and then Rihanna hit the carpet and they’re like, no, no, photograph this one like we do Bigfoot.  Back up 200 feet, put away the DSLR, get out the cardboard disposable camera with the cracked lens.  Yeah, that’s it, now try to wait until someone is walking in front of her and good, great.  We got her ankle, we can post that and people can debate if Rihanna is real or not.  Look, I don’t want to tell anyone how to do their job, I am pretty far from a professional photographer but when you have a woman who is very famous, famously beautiful, and famously a fashion icon I would work to get a picture of her with her in frame and you know, focused. That’s what I’d do.  But then, I am running this blog and those guys are in Hollywood hobnobbing with all sorts of people who couldn’t make it as real celebrities so take pictures of them for a living.  Maybe they have it all figured out.  Anyway, she was at a premier for a movie that starts with a V and I am going to misspell it so why bother.  Trying is the first step to failure I always say. It’s for this movie I have heard of but know absolutely nothing about.  I have heard it is either going to be great or terrible, which I have to say, is a pretty striking range of early returns.  I don’t know, is Rihanna in it?  Does she have a song in it?  I don’t know, maybe they just invited her.  That’s what I’d do if I have a movie.  First of all she’s beautiful, so you get the bonus of just being around that but second of all you know she’s going to wear something great.  You know she is.  So it’s like this huge win.  Even if your movie is terrible she is standing in front of the poster and your brain is going to go, I dunno, but suddenly this movie looks great.  That’s residual Rihanna all over your poster.  Call it something different though because that sounds kinda gross maybe.  Work on it.  You have marketing departments, I can’t do it all for your Hollywood. Anyway, Rihanna looks great in her pink dress that frankly most people couldn’t pull off but she can because she’s Rihanna.  I like it.  Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

So are you aware Rihanna has a new video?  Do you know that Rihanna is unmistakably and remarkably beautiful?  If so, good for you, you are alive and have eyes.  If you aren’t aware I am here to educate you.  She has a new video.  People like it.  People like the song.  You should check it out.  I can’t promise you’ll like the song but I bet if you’re reading this you’ll like the video.  I feel confident in saying so.  If you didn’t realize she’s beautiful I don’t know what to tell you.  Check your pulse, you might be dead.  If you are I am sorry.  That has to be hard to handle.  But hey, congrats on still being able to use a computer!  Try not to take it personally if people see you and run in terror, it isn’t you, it’s a natural human aversion to the unquiet dead.  Sorry, we all have our blind spots.  We can’t see past the unnatural circumstances of your existence and you can’t see past your cold, soulless existence to realize that Rihanna is beautiful.  We all have flaws.  Except I guess Rihanna, who genuinely seems like a pretty amazing and delightful person and again, is beautiful.  Next level beautiful.  Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

The last time I posted Rihanna I mentioned I was waiting for the CR Fashion Book stuff to finally come out because what I had seen was fantastic.  Well, high quality pictures are here and I was right, it’s fantastic.  They just look amazing and she looks amazing and I kind of think I shouldn’t ruin it with more talking and instead we should just appreciate how beautiful Rihanna is.  Because man she is beautiful.  Today I want to fuck Rihanna.