A thing I feel like I should say to start, and I will use generalities to start, is that if you are the sort of person who, when someone else gets something you are filled with anger, then you are at the very best an asshole.  And insecure asshole most likely.  Because someone getting something is not depriving you.  Other people being happy does not cost you happiness, there isn’t a limited supply.  Or if there is you aren’t drawing from the same well.  You are just an asshole who is so full of insecurities that you quite literally want everyone else to be miserable so you can feel better about yourself.  This makes you a raging asshole.  And that’s not even addressing how often your attitude is informed by racism or misogyny or homophobia or whatever small minded little bullshit you have going on.  This is brought on by the fact that Alex Morgan has been everywhere in my life lately (or seemed to be.  Google “Frequency Illusion” or Baader-Meinhoff).  It started with the announcement that FIFA 16 will include women’s teams and of course Alex Morgan is the face they are using.  And yeah, some dudes lost their shit about how this will ruin the game.  Because nothing ruins your fun like a feature that you never have to use but you know somewhere, someone is enjoying it.  Anyway, it culminated in me getting the mail this morning because I forgot yesterday and there is ESPN the Magazine with Alex Morgan on the cover.  Now, usually these magazines I don’t want go right in the recycling bin and this one was headed that way until I saw Alex Morgan and I was like, ok, sure, I’ll check it out.  Cause I happen to really like the US Women’s National team, I actually find Women’s soccer more watchable because it feels more wide open.  Also I am very attracted to Alex Morgan.  She is gorgeous and she can run like the wind.  And she’s everywhere or at least my brain thinks she is.  Today I want to fuck Alex Morgan.