I was thinking about Princess Peach last night because I was playing Mario Kart.  This is because of course, I rule at Saturday Nights.  Don’t try to live my lifestyle, kids, it’s too fast for most people, you wouldn’t be able to keep up with the pace, I’ve seen it destroy many a life.  Anyway, I was playing Mario Kart (and aside does anyone else have a WiiU?  I know people are down on it and all but i love mine because I got it to play Mario games and I get to play Mario games.  Hit me up if you want to play Mario Kart) and I was thinking about how complex these tracks are.  Then I was thinking about how unappreciated Princess Peach is.  Not by me, I always play as her because she’s great.  She can float in 3-D World and she has the prettiest outfit in Mario Kart.  And she can float in Smash Bros. too.  I just mean in general.  She pretty clearly is running the Mushroom Kingdom despite the fact that if she was the actual ruler of the Kingdom she would be Queen Peach, not Princess Peach.  It’s a kingdom, not a principality.  That means there is a deadbeat Dad out there making her do all of the work.  On top of that, this place is just bananas.  I don’t know how she holds it together given the incredibly stupid infrastructure spending going on.  Seriously, think about it: Kart tracks, Tennis Courts, Baseball Stadiums, Golf Course, entire Olympic facilities (though in fairness Sonic might host some of those).  Now, I guess Peach could be to blame for this or it could be her worthless Dad.  I am not sure who to blame but either way Peach is a genius.  I say this because I have seen nothing that looks like a modern economy in the Mushroom Kingdom.  At best you have merchants in little mushroom houses that give away one of three items.  That’s not much of a tax base.  And sure, really this is a Kingdom that could bulk up it’s defense budget because Bowser is attacking like every other day and they aren’t very good at stopping him.  But maybe they don’t have to be.  A single plumber always beats him.  That’s some clever budgeting and she is getting the money for all this other crap somewhere.  I don’t know, it went off the rails.  It’s like 2 AM or something.  The point is Peach is great and a little under appreciated.  I think.  I feel like a lot of this didn’t make sense looking back at it.  Oh right, Coins!  Coins!  It all makes sense if you think about the tremendous amount of gold Mario picks up every time out.  Like, just amazing amounts of gold.  Peach is setting herself up as the main driving force of the Mushroom Economy.  Don’t make things too hard for Bowser, he can kidnap her, Mario comes and rescues her.  No one to help Mario, certainly no plane or car or anything, so he has to take some long 8 world route to get there, gather a fortune in gold, rescue Peach and suddenly she has the funding for a new Battle Arena or Rhythmic Gymnastics Stadium.  It’s brilliant! Today I want to fuck Princess Peach.