How about some Scarlett Johansson for you guys today? She’s shown up a couple times this week at things and we should all be thankful for that. It was a Gala at the Natural History Museum in New York, though if I am going to be biased here, and I am, it’s no Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. It’s cool, I get it. The Smithsonian doesn’t have a Gala and it’s not in New York. You take what you can get when it comes to museum galas. Anyway, she has looked lovely this week. And since history was mentioned she was the first person I ever posted and would likely be the most posted person ever on this blog if I had started it 10 years earlier. That’s not saying she isn’t as appealing now, just that she has had staying power and I have always been into her. But also like a lot of famous people, showed up in pictures more earlier in her career. Cause that’s just how that works for whatever reason. And by whatever reason I mean I am older now too and my big Friday night plans are to stay in and play video games online with my brother. So I get it. People don’t take pictures of me doing that either. I don’t think. I hope not. Scarlett looked very good and I am glad to see her. Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Here is Candice Swanepoel because she cleans up ok I guess. If you are into beautiful women. Then she looks good. Again, it’s a matter of taste. Do you like breathtaking beauty? Then maybe she’s for you. She does ok I guess. I guess. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

I am in general grateful for Doctor Who but especially incarnations of The Doctor which emphasize the kindness. Which is seems like Jodie Whittaker’s version does. I have talked about fictional characters before and the important roles they can play as aspirational figures. My entire life people have said Superman is lame but to me Superman is a man with the power to do anything and what he has chosen to do is help people. That’s powerful and it’s moving. Doctor Who is a show cut from a similar cloth with it’s humanism at it’s core and the fact that The Doctor is as close to a god as you can be and in the end always ends up helping. I guess I am thankful for the show and I really like Jodie Whittaker’s version of the Doctor. I guess I haven’t really disliked any take but her take is what I felt we all need right now. I watched this week’s episode and I liked it but more importantly I liked her. So I am posting her. I can’t really sexualize the Doctor as a character but I can appreciate the beauty of the woman playing her and like her. Today I want to fuck Jodie Whittaker.

The world is a weird place right now guys. I feel like we all can sorta feel that. I know not everyone agrees something is off about our current situation but I have to say, if you had told me a year ago that Taylor Swift would be warning us about systemic racism and Kanye West was telling us slavery was a choice I would have punched you in the face. I wouldn’t have wanted to but it would have just been my body’s natural reaction to such a batshit claim. Yet here we are. Fire and Brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Soon enough forty years of darkness, Earthquakes, volcanoes, the dead rising from their graves. Human Sacrifice, dogs and cats living together. It’s the end of days. The latest sign is that the People’s Choice Awards were Sunday night and Kim Kardashian was there and her dress was amazing. I wanted to post her in it. And… nothing. Guys, I want you to let this soak in. Sit down if you have to. We are living in a world where pictures of Kim Kardashian are hard to find. It was like pulling teeth finding anything. There are one or two medium quality shots. This is insanity. Guys, pictures of Kim Kardashian just wash up on the beach in Malibu. They are supposed to be one of our most bountiful natural resources. Next the Pope is going declare funny hats a sin and France will ban striped shirts, berets, and cigarettes. I’m frightened. Normally this is when I would turn to our pop culture machine to distract us with pretty girls and explosions while we slide into oblivion. And it’s dropped the ball. Hey, enjoy your week though. Today I want to fuck Kim Kardashian.

Sometimes there are people who have almost made this blog for years. For years. Why don’t they? Usually cause there is some bad luck involved. Always a bridesmaid never a bride kind of thing. Sometimes it’s just cause they’re weird. Not in an insult way but in a it’s hard to wrap my head around it and post them and when I post someone who feels out there to post I don’t feel like I can just write, “Hey, this girl is pretty. Have a sweet Monday. San Dimas High School Football Rules”. I mean, I could. It’s my blog but I have standards. So Poppy has almost made it but keeps not because she is really, really strange. If you recognize her it’s probably from her Youtube videos with are slightly off kilter. This is because Poppy is basically a performance art piece. I mean, she’s also a pop singer but she’s an art project. The collaboration between multiple artists and if you have done a deep dive on her channel, which of course I have, if you’ve read this blog you can’t be surprised, you’ll discover a deep ambivalence not just about Internet Fame but Internet Culture in general. Her videos are often full of cliches and common sentiments we see in countless other places on the internet but she has robbed them of all emotion or sincerity. They become creepy and hollow. I guess it’s a way of showing the hollowness that was always behind empty statements of vapidness. It’s really kind of brilliant sometimes. My friend and I were watching her selling things from her merch store and she was saying these rote things that people might think to themselves when looking at clothes and they took on this whole weird life as she said them with a vacant smile. It was a mix of hilarious and unsettling. Which is why I have never posted her. Mixed in with this is that she’s coded to be an attractive youtube star. Pretty, innocent, positive. Big eyes and cute dresses. And just off enough that you start to feel bad about finding her attractive. Which I also think is part of the whole thing. Again, I find it kind of brilliant but it means I feel almost bad when I have thought about posting her. But hey, I run a blog called Who I Want to Fuck Today, people are already judging me, what am I scared of? Heights mainly. Also Ghosts. I am pretty sure she is short and if she’s secretly any supernatural creature it’s a robot, not a ghost. Yes, I just said robots are supernatural. Prove me wrong, Internet, prove me wrong. Today I want to fuck Poppy.

Hey guys, here is Taylor Swfit because you know me, I love to post obscure celebrities sometimes. I think her Australian Tour is over but I don’t know if that means there is more of it or it’s all done or what. Maybe the moon next? It seems like Taylor Swift can probably go anywhere and people would come and see her because I have this theory that people love Taylor Swift and she’s an immensely popular artist. I don’t have proof yet but you know, like or reblog this post if you think I’m right so I can prove to my dad that Taylor Swift is popular? I can’t remember how those text posts used to go. I don’t actually have anything interesting to say here, it was more that she is good looking and boy are there are lot of pictures of her over the years and so I was kind of just digging through and finding stuff I liked. Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

So more Victoria’s Secret stuff though really the credit here is all Gigi Hadid. What they had her wear on the catwalk is honestly pretty ugly. She somehow made it compelling. But this is all about her own outfit, on the pink carpet. I don’t know how you feel about it but I think it’s hot as fuck. I love it. It’s why she’s here. Today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

Last night was the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and that usually leads to me posting someone from said show. Today is no different. Now, I do have to say in advance I haven’t seen everyone and everything. I haven’t really done my due diligence on this one. No, this is really an act of kindness as everyone knows Candice Swanepoel has been throwing herself at me for years. So I am throwing her a bone. Doubly so because she is a new mother, it’s been just a few months since she had her most recent baby and I remember when she got pregnant, a certain segment of the internet that follows models was furious and declared she was going to ruin her body and get boring. Obviously, as you can see in these pictures she is very boring and her body is terrible. Good job internet, you haven’t been this vocal and right about something since someone’s grandparent posted about Obama on facebook. Well done. So, clearly, it’s an act of kindness that I throw poor Candy this bone. The poor thing, life must be really hollow being rich, famous, beautiful, and having a family she loves. Maybe one day she’ll wise up and listen to bitter strangers on the internet. Or maybe I am reading this all wrong and she actually looks incredible. Like, I could be so wrong that actually what she wore on the pink carpet was amazing enough that she would be here. Maybe. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Here is Olivia Munn because Olivia Munn is really pretty. That’s simple but it’s just the truth. She has a habit of looking very good on the red carpet and just out and about and probably doing most thing. She is very photogenic is my point. To the degree where sometimes it feels a bit unfair. Either way, the result is I am a big Olivia fan and thus I am posting her. Today I want to fuck Olivia Munn.

Hey guys, happy Wednesday. I am posting Lili Reinhart because I had a dream about her. It wasn’t a particularly interesting dream I guess. She seemed very nice. A bunch of people got locked out of their hotel rooms. She was fun and funny. See, this is proof other people’s dreams are boring. I can feel you yawning through not just the internet but space and time since I am typing this and literally no one can read it yet. Sorry. I do what my subconscious tells me to. Today I want to fuck Lili Reinhart.