So some big runway shows in Milan today and a lot of people I love walked and so I assumed one of them would show up.  Then some pictures of Nina Dobrev doing press for Flatliners showed up and it was game over man.  Because holy shit!  Nina Dobrev is hot as fucking a suit.  Who knew?  I didn’t.  I mean… logically it makes sense.  Nina Dobrev is often quite hot and I rather like her, so unless it’s like, comically ill fitting she should look good in a suit.  But this good?  My god.  Look at her sitting there.  Just holy fuck.  So she’s here pretty much because of that.  I mean, yay, Flatliners too or whatever.  Or not yay.  I saw some video on Youtube angry bout classic movies being remade and you know, let’s not devalue the word classic guys.  I mean really?  So I don’t care much about Flatliners one way or another.  I will see it but I couldn’t name one person in it until I saw these pictures.  Anyway, back to that suit, look at her.  It’s amazing right?  She just looks sexy as fuck.  So today I want to fuck Nina Dobrev.

When I was a kid we used to have skunk rules in sports.  Like in softball if a team was up by x number of runs by a certain inning, the game just ended.  I didn’t understand why as a kid because it was fun to play softball and win or lose I kind of wanted to keep playing, not stop early and not get a full game in. So I asked my dad why and he told me they have that rule because, “Some people are dicks”.  Which ended up being true and more universal than softball but the basic point was even in a  game played by children, some people couldn’t be trusted to not try to not boost their own ego by grinding other people’s kids into the ground and trying to really, really blow them out.  It’s a debate adults have with professional sports as well and there are no more skunk rules, which probably sucks for people’s feelings but on the other hand is useful for us as a society because we can tell who is and who isn’t a terrible person more easily this way.  Anyway, Fan Bingbing made me think of this and I am not calling her a dick but she is promoting a movie and it means like a slew of appearances for her and… it’s definitely running up the score.  One Fan Bingbing picture is enough to remind me that she is very possibly the most beautiful human being alive.  Like 8 different appearances and it’s just like… it feels unfair to other good looking people.  I mean, obviously I can tell you from personal experience, being gorgeous is a real burden no matter what and you have to suffer through this life of being devastatingly attractive already, but then on top of that Fan Bingbing is here to make you look like a pile of crap?  Well.. ok, that might be a bit extreme but you get my point.  I don’t blame her I guess.  She’s in some movie called Sky Hunter that I have no clue about and i get it has to be promoted.  I am just saying like… look, Marlon Brando gained a lot of weight and I always felt he must have done that for our sake because young Brando was so dangerously sexy that who knows what problems it could have caused.  So for our sake he went crazy and at a lot of bacon and bread.  I am not suggesting Fan Bingbing do that, I am just saying that again, she’s making it hard to think about anything else.  I mean, obviously, look at how stupid and rambly this post is.  Today I want to fuck Fan Bingbing.

I was having trouble knowing what to write or do today.  I was in a dark mood and I try not to let those take over my life and infect what I do but it can be hard.  But then Barbara Palvin showed up in pictures from the Alberta Ferretti Show during Milan Fashion Week and it solved everything.  That’s a pretty good trick.  I had someone to post and had something to talk about which is holy fuck Barbara Palvin looks hot as fuck walking for Alberta Ferretti.  Now, obviously she’s wearing a shiny shirt and well… ok in the Ozarks the most unsporting way to hunt a raccoon was to cut a small hole in a log and place something shiny in it.  The raccoon would reach in and grab the shiny thing but by making a fist it’s hand was too big to get back out.  But the Raccoon will not give up it’s shiny stuff, so it’s still there when the hunter comes back, trying to pull it’s little hand free and then the hunter bashes the raccoon in the head and the hunt is over.  What I am saying is when I die there is about a 90% chance it will be because someone puts a celebrity in a sparkly dress and then bashes me over the head with a rock.  It’s how I am going to go.  We all have our own fate.  So yeah, she’s wearing a shiny shirt and that must be a factor but really she just looks so good.  So very good.  So she is here.  Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

London Fashion Week is in full swing so here’s Jenna Coleman.  I happen to quite like Jenna Coleman but am really torn on the one dress she wore this week at the Emilia Wickstead show.  Torn cause like… I keep going back and forth.  I don’t like it or I do.  Which usually means there is a problem I can’t identify and I like some elements but dislike others.  The problem is, Jenna Coleman has such a pretty face I also assume that just throws my judgement off.  So I am posting her because at the very least the dress has me thinking about her.  Like, she is who keeps popping into my head because I can’t decide on the dress but I am pretty solidly in the camp of her being pretty.  So today I want to fuck Jenna Coleman.

How about some Holly Willoughby today.  After all she is doing something for Diet Coke.  I probably don’t have to tell you that the picture of her in the black dress is a promo picture she took for Diet Coke.  I assume everyone, like I do, immediately thinks Diet Coke when you see a woman in a gauzy black dress. It’s just one of those universal human things we all do.  You know, like we all breathe or we all have to tamp down uncontrollable rage when we’re at a fast food restaurant behind someone and when they get to the counter they go, “Ok… let me look at the menu”.  It’s like what the fuck?  What the fuck were you doing this entire time you were in line?  Did it not occur to you to maybe peak at the menu in advance so you aren’t making everyone else wait on your lazy ass?  Also, it’s McDonald’s.  You know what they have because you are a big boy old enough to exit the house on your own.  They haven’t suddenly added McFoie gras and McTapas to the menu, it’s the same old shit as always.  Get your shit together and order already.  So it’s like that, I assume we all go through that.  Thinking about Diet Coke when we can see a British Woman’s legs through her dress and wondering how come some people literally have nothing better to do than hmmm loudly and not make a decision. So you know, what I am saying is very successful campaign Diet Coke, I have brought up your name a bunch here and I assume this blog is exactly what you want your brand to be associated with.  Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

The Emmys were last night and that was a thing.  A thing I ended up missing most of because… hey, I knew they were on but it’s one of those nights where you look up at it’s almost 10 PM and you go, “man, how did that happen”.  Anyway, there are still lots of after party pictures to come given I have seen like… one person at an after party and I assume more people are there.  Just one person at a party is not a party, it’s like the most depressing Peanuts comic of all time.  But in the lead up and at the actual Emmys Ariel Winter really stood out to me.  I really liker her dress.  The cut of it with the two slits and the silver and I liked her silver eye shadow to match.  It gets a thumbs up from me.  So she is here because today I want to fuck Ariel Winter.

So the Emmys are tonight and that’s exciting I guess?  I don’t know, I am having a hard time working up much excitement.  Maybe I’ll be more excited tomorrow.  Anyway, Chloe Bennet was at a few of the pre Emmy things, like parties and peripheral rewards and so on.  She was also at a bunch of Fashion Week stuff last week.  So there has been a lot of Chloe Bennet and she has looked good so I fugred why not post her.  It’s that simple.  Today I want to fuck Chloe Bennet.

I started watching the new Tick Series and I like it a lot.  To be fair, I am biased because I have long loved the Tick.  I was the right age to think the original run on the Tick was the funniest thing I had ever read and my friends and I used to watch the show in college.  I quite like the Tick.  So you know, I was surprised when Dot turned out to be hot (and a better character in general).  I am not sure why I was surprised, this is TV after all, it happens.  But still, it was surprising.  So I looked her up and it turns out I have seen her in everything!  Like everything.  And some stuff I will see her in eventually because let’s be honest, eventually I will see the Blair Witch sequel no matter how bad it is.  But most interesting is the first thing I ever saw her in, she was a regular on Veronica Mars.  Not only did I love this show, it might be the origin of more people on this blog than any other single piece of media.  Which sounds strange at first until you realize Valorie Curry here is the 5th person I am posting who I saw for the first time ever on Veronica Mars.  She follows Kristen Bell, Krysten Ritter, Alona Tal, and Jessica Chastain.  Who knows, in 5 more years maybe someone else will pop up. What a world.  Today I want to fuck Valorie Curry.

Every time when Fashion Week starts I find myself wishing it would never end (note: it is now over).  I mean, Ok, technically we get 4 weeks of it and London and Paris can give us some goodies but New York is always the most lucrative in the sense of lots of people I want to see wearing nice things showing up and wearing nice things.  Today was another tough choice but I really like Kate Upton’s silver top.  It’s just a good look for her and she has looked pretty good lately on the red carpet, not something that is always true.  Whatever decisions she’s making now though it’s the right one, I thought she looked fantastic.  So she’s here.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Today was one of those tough days to choose cause the people who all sort of made the cut to be in the discussion are people that seem to annoy at least some people when I post.  Though I don’t mean discussion.  That makes me sound like a crazy person because it all goes on in my head.  The deciding I mean.  There is no libido committee.  That I am aware of.  Anyway, it’s my blog so it shouldn’t matter and I mean it really shouldn’t annoy people who I choose but it does.  I get it.  I am a very important figure in your lives and my thoughts and opinions matter a lot to you.  It’s flattering.  Keep in mind that I am aware and you know, I feel a little bad sometimes when I know I will upset you by my sexual desires not matching what you hope and dream for my sexual desires. We live in a world where a lot of people have a lot invested in what other people want sexually.  I get that.  I mean, I don’t get it, why it matters, but I get that it does matter to some people.  So you are not being ignored.  I just don’t care enough to pretend to be something I am not.  Anyway, Nicki Minaj stood out for lots of reasons ranging from her looks being diverse and awesome at Fashion Week, to there being Nazis walking down my street this morning and Nicki always seems to piss off a few racists I have to block when I post her, to that coat she is wearing.  I want that coat.  It’s not quite my dream coat, if you know me you know my dream coat, but I’d look really good in that coat.  I couldn’t pull off anything else she is wearing but I could nail that.  Today I want to fuck Nicki Minaj.