Tag: Actress

So Aubrey Plaza is wearing Pink Wigs for the New York Post for some reason?  I feel like I missed a step in this new photoshoot but I won’t complain.  I happen to adore Aubrey Plaza and she doesn’t show up here nearly often enough anymore.  Because Parks and Rec is gone and sorely missed.  Maybe she’ll be in some great new movie soon that I am unaware of.  Anyway, I thought she looked great but given I know someone who always used to get confused when I posted Aubrey Plaza and Audrey Kitching, the pink hair won’t help.  I love it though.  Today I want to fuck Aubrey Plaza.

So there was an amFar Gala last night and that’s always good.  It’s a good cause.  It tends to get nice looking people nicely dressed and gathered into a single place.  So, good news all around.  And there were indeed some options to choose from last night.  Victoria Justice’s dress was fantastic.  I loved it.  She was almost here. But you know… it turns out Scarlett Johansson is beautiful. And, you know, I like a good tux.  But mostly it’s the fact that she’s beautiful. Given I have posted her almost 50 times you think I would have figured it out before now.  Oh well, I am here to break the news.  Scarlett Johansson is beautiful.  And you know, she’s single now again and I have had a thing for her since like 2001.  So, you know… look, I know it’s a slim shot but what I am saying is given her situation and my situation, if I play my cards right I can probably end up with a restraining order put on me.  It’s a dream at least. Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

I didn’t get around to watching this weekends SNL until the early hours of this morning because… well, I don’t watch SNL religiously anymore and it was a busy weekend.  Anyway, Kristen Stewart was on it and you may know cause there have been quite a few articles about her saying fuck, which is interesting because I can’t imagine most people care.  But it’s a big deal in the sense that you know, it’s network TV and she’s only like the 5th person to ever slip up like that on SNL and it’s often seen as a bad omen.  Though, I would point out she didn’t declare herself to be the break out star of SNL, so maybe it wasn’t the word fuck that soured everyone on Charles Rocket.  Anyway, it was not a great episode but I quite liked the bits of her we got.  Sometimes I wonder when a celebrity is under used if that is because this doesn’t suit them or if the show made a mistake but the monologue was a stand out to me because it showed how likable Kristen Stewart can be.  And there were some good bits over all.  I even kind of liked when she said fuck because it just felt like actual excitement lead to it and she recovered well.  Anyway, here she is because she looked good and why not just make @she-goes-to-eleven‘s day while I’m at it.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Stewart.

It’s a strange sort of weekend where lots of things are trying to draw eyes and none of them are that major (I mean, the Super Bowl is major, the Super Bowl parties and awards are not).  And none of them seemed to quite get my attention this weekend, I am going a totally different way.  I am going to Aishwarya Rai.  It’s a little hard to believe that one of the first times I posted her there was a mild controversy about her appearance at Cannes post baby.  Not that I am was surprised people were criticizing a woman about her appearance and weight on the internet or that you know, they were saying things like ruined her body.  I wasn’t surprised by that, I guess that doesn’t make you a giant dick when it’s an Indian woman?  No, wait, that can’t be right.  Oh right, sorry, brain fart, I wasn’t surprised because the internet is full of giant dicks.  What makes it hard to believe is that she is now 43 year olds and some pictures from Femina Magazine hit the internet last week and holy fuck look at her.  It is hard to believe there was ever a point where a human being who looks like that was ever criticized for her appearance.  I mean… really, look at her.  She was once labeled the most beautiful woman in the world and it’s really not hard to see why.  Which, you know, at the end of the day is probably why sad little trolls attacked when they could because insecure people have a need to tear down anything beautiful in this world.  It’s because they can’t stand how ugly it makes their souls look.  Anyway, I don’t think that’ll be a problem here cause when I post people who aren’t from the English speaking world it gets very little attention.  Which is a shame cause again I would direct you to her face and how amazing it is.  She is gorgeous.  Today I want to fuck Aishwarya Rai.

Every year I try to watch all the major award contender films before the Oscars come around.  I like to have an informed opinion before I pronounce awards shows horse shit.  Usually in my experience there are one or two gems, a whole lot of prestige stuff that is by the numbers and nothing particularly special but is very awards baity and the sort of thing the Oscars will nominate (a few years ago and now I can’t remember who, but an actual Oscar winning director said that if the Academy was fair then the Conjuring would have been nominated for best director because it was the best directed film of the year.  But that isn’t the kind of movie that gets nominated).  Anyway, this is a long way of saying most years this leads to at least one Jessica Chastain performance and it isn’t an overstatement to say that is one of the highlights of each year.  Not because I am attracted to her but because even if the movie she is in is one of those by the numbers cut and paste December prestige films her performance is always among the best I will see that year.  I can think of a number of movies in the past couple of years that were just ok but had me transfixed because she is so remarkable.  So boy was I disappointed when I realized this morning I have no Chastain performance to look forward to.  She was really only in one movie this year that would be considered and it was a bit of a flop.  I will get to it eventually but I didn’t even know it had ever come out because it came and went that quickly.  I honestly feel robbed.  Now I am worried we won’t get a lot of Jessica Chastain on the red carpet because it occurs to me I haven’t seen a lot of Jessica Chastain on the red carpet yet this awards season and good God, it’s like 2017 is really just out to destroy every ounce of hope we have.  Well fuck you, I am posting her anyway.  And I’m going to watch Miss Sloane just to spite whatever malicious force has this year set up the way it is.  Because Jessica Chastain is wonderful and I love watching her work.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

I kind of accidentally did a Janelle Monae double feature by watching Hidden Figures and Moonlight.  Moonlight is really more of a star turn for her but the better movie by far is Moonlight.  It’s a beautiful movie that is well acted and… well, it’s my favorite of the Oscars stuff I have seen thus far this year.  I found it sad and upsetting some fo the time and a friend asked me once why I would watch things that do that but I kind of feel like art is the best gateway to empathy.  It is good to have to see things through someone else’s eyes.  This movie was painfully empathetic and open-hearted even though the characters were not.  I am glad I saw it.  I am also kind of amazed that Janelle Monae did such a good job in each movie.  Not that it’s a knock but it wasn’t like she was playing similar characters, they were very different and she acquitted herself quite well.  I have heard people predict movie stardom for her from here out but when someone isn’t an actor and gets into acting even if they are good I expect their personality to be what carries them through.   You know, like a movie star. Our movie stars always are playing their movie star type.  So I was impressed. Of course, I have also heard theories that Janelle Monae is a robot engineered in a lab to be the perfect pop star and tweak all the right things for music snobs and critics and maybe that’s true too.  They just gave her the acting upgrade.  I mean, I am not saying that’s what has happened, I am just saying that it’s a lot of talent to stuff into a real, non robot person.  And she’s beautiful on top of all of that.  She’s probably a robot.  That’s what I am saying.  Possible she’s not but I’d buy it.  Honestly, maybe I am ok with robots taking over then, she seems pretty cool.  I’d be down.  Today I want to fuck Janelle Monae.

The SAG Awards were last night and I didn’t watch them because I am a smug douche bag who doesn’t have cable.  I mean, whatever, it’s cool if you’re still paying for cable, I guess I just don’t really want to be a slave to my TV.  I have more exciting things to do, like sit around in my underwear and play games on my phone.  Anyway, the SAG Awards were last night and the first pictures I saw were of Ariel Winter in her gold gown and I was like, “That’ll probably win”.  I have seen a lot more since then and it’s still winning.  It won.  I am predictable and easy but I like shiny gowns and I liked her shiny gown.  So today I want to fuck Ariel Winter.

So Mary Elizabeth Winstead was at a thing for the X-Men show I will probably not like and will make me sad that Fox will forever have the X-Men rights so they can squander them.  But you know… it could be good.  Mary Elizabeth Winstead was there, which is a good thing.  Honestly, if she shows up somewhere I am likely to post her because I adore her.  Mercy Street is back to and PBS keeps sending me emails to let me know and uh… I need to watch it.  I am sorry.  I will get to it, I promise.  I am not sure who I am promising this to but… you know I am rambling, whatever.  Mary Elizabeth Winstead is beautiful and talented and I love her.  Today I want to fuck Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

Zoey Deutch has been at Sundance all week and keeps showing up in pictures and she looks great so now she’s showing up here.  No doubt now her week really feels complete.  I tend to like how she dresses and she has a nice smile and is pretty.  So she’s here (Speaking of delightful and beautiful young women let me tell you about my mutual @thunderstormofoblivion.  Do any of my followers live in New York?  Boy do you have an opportunity here, she is Romanian and let’s be honest, you have never had the chance to talk to a Romanian before.  To make it to adulthood she’s probably had to kill like 30 Draculas or something and now she works as a spy.  Anyway, you should message her, if you’re lucky maybe you could go do New York stuff together like… dance in fountains and hang out at Monica and Rachel’s place.  Just an idea for people).  So I like Zoey, she is pretty, I dunno what movie she has at Sundance but fingers crossed it’s good cause lord I didn’t hear good things about that James Franco one she was just in.  Oh right, the name is in one of the pictures, Why Him?  Sounds like it was bad.  Oh well.  Today I want to fuck Zoey Deutch.

So, sorta a big weekend and there’s a lot going on and my mind has a habit of going some dark places sometimes, so I will keep this short.  I am posting Anne Hathaway cause she’s pretty and I like pretty girls.  So here she is, today I want to fuck Anne Hathaway.