So today is my birthday, If you didn’t know. I assume everyone knew cause you probably are planning who I want to fuck today celebrations at this moment. I know it’s a big day for you guys. Truth be told my weekend was a little lame but that’s what happens as you get older, this shit matters a lot less. Anyway, I am picking Kristen Bell because it’s my birthday and I think she is perfect. Nothing else to say really. Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.
Katie Cassidy is probably the only celebrity that my brain has a theme song to. Like I see her and it starts playing in my head. I may have mentioned this before. It’s the Partridge Family’s “I Think I Love You” which will of course be what they write on the restraining order. It’s not really my fault, her dad is the one singing the song and that’s how my brain works. Not that I think that explanation makes it any more normal or less bizarre. I have labeled Katie Cassidy one of my obscure crushes here before but I am not sure that really applies much now that Arrow is popular but either way I doubt what she is looking for is someone to lean in and softly whisper in her ear, “You look so lovely tonight. You make me think of your dad”. Anyway, she is lovely and I adore her and so today I want to fuck Katie Cassidy.
Here is Emily DiDonato basically because I woke up this morning and someone I follow had reblogged a bunch of pictures of her and I was like, “Yeah, she sure is pretty”. Thus I am posting her because she is pretty and she is one of those people who just clicks for me. I don’t even have more to say about it than that. It’s the day after Halloween and my Birthday is right around the corner so I have a busy day, you’ll have to forgive me if I half ass it a little bit. Today I want to fuck Emily DiDonato.
Sometimes I post some pretty super obscure people and basically it stems from the fact that I watch a lot of off beat movies and stuff. Usually obscure horror or whatever. It’s October so obviously I am doing that now. I actually spent a large part of the month watching a lot of short horror films (which you know are both wonderful and the internet is full of so if for some reason you want some to watch message me, I’ll send you links) Anyway, of the ones I saw perhaps the one I liked best was Lovely Monster which I have linked for your convenience. I mean it’s two years old but frankly that is recent when you’re seeking out things that don’t exactly get wide releases. Anyway, it was lovely and moving and the main reason why was the main actress who really conveyed a sense of isolation and sadness that was quite powerful. I crushed on her a little bit as a result. Anyway, her name is Sophia Del Pizzo and she is an English Actress (I mean, of course she is, I was drawn to her). She hasn’t done much but lord knows that hasn’t stopped someone being here before. Maybe not the Halloween pick anyone expected but here you go, today I want to fuck Sophia Del Pizzo.
What the hell have you done tumblr? I seriously logged out for 1 minute and I come back and everything is different. Ridiculoud. Anyway… here is Lea Michele because there was apparently a Gala last night, for amfAR more specifically. Lots of people were there but I thought she looked great. Admittedly I have kind of a weakness for shiny dresses. I am not entirely sure why. Feel free to come up with any sort of theories as to why I am distracted by bright shiny objects. Anyway, Lea so rarely shows up here and really it’s my fault for not starting this blog in like 2009. Or whenever Glee was good. Anyway, she’s here today, I thought she looked very good so today I want to fuck Lea Michele.
This is probably the most 80’s post I have ever made. Not just because Linnea Quigley was one of the premier scream queens of the 1980’s, or because my attraction to her is very much rooted in my childhood in the 1980’s, but because look at her. It’s so 80’s it hurts. If you have seen much in the way of 1980’s horror I can promise you that you have seen her die horribly at least once. I can’t swear by it but this is probably the 3rd year in a row I have thought about posting Linnea Quigley. It is hard to find pictures of her and honestly my personal attraction to her is pretty much rooted in one single movie. I know for a lot of people her pushing lipstick into her nipple (and I mean into, like inside) was some seminal moment but it never did it for me. Anyway, pictures aren’t easy to find, including I really want to include shots from Return of the Living Dead but… they are super naked. You can find gifs in this helpful post here. Anyway, I absolutely love Return of the Living Dead and have since I was 10 when I first saw it. I also declared her to be ridiculously hot when I saw it then. I am not even sure I fully understood how hot I thought she was but that visual of her ripping her top open (I mean, you clicked the link right? There are boobs so be careful but… click the link) and dancing in the graveyard stuck in my head for years. Feel free to guess what movie I watched last night. Anyway, the movie was released on DVD in the early 2000’s and I got it and told my friends it ruled and made a bunch of sit down and watch it. I pointed to her when she first showed up and said, “She is ridiculously hot”. I got some shrugs and whatever until the graveyard dance scene. At that point one of my friends actually said, “Holy shit, you were right!" Which is the real lesson of this post: Never doubt me, I am always right. Today I want to fuck Linnea Quigley
So I had a dream last night that Captain America and I were in Medieval France fighting zombies because… of course we were. She-Hulk was there too for a little bit but then my brain kind of forgot about her which I choose to think is my Brain’s meta commentary on what is happening to her fantastic comic at the moment. Anyway, we were there fighting zombies in this French village and I saved Jennifer Lawrence who was a medieval French villager but also still Jennifer Lawrence. Because again, of course she was. Anyway, I saved her and she was pretty cool and nice and thus here we are. I feel like I earned this post because I fought zomibes for it. Or like, Zombies my brain made up. Brain Zombies. I fought brain zombies and it was cool. Anyway, Jennifer Lawrence is great, yadda yadda yadda. Dreams are the best. Today I want to fuck Jennifer Lawrence.
Amazon keeps handing me these promotional credits for it’s video service and then it keeps warning me they expire on Halloween and given I am who I am it pretty much feels like they are basically coming out and telling me I have to buy a horror movie from them. So I did. I went and got See No Evil 2 because it was inevitable I was going to see it anyway. A sequel to a movie I didn’t like? Well, yeah, because they added directors of a movie I was only lukewarm on but who at the very least did something interesting and of course they added Katharine Isabelle and Danielle Harris. So I was in. And I will say off the bat it was better than the first even if I didn’t feel much Soska Sisters in it. Honestly it felt like a pretty rote modern slasher, just a few sequences were very well done and the acting went up a notch because Katharine Isabelle was delightful in it. She was just great. And I was thinking about just posting her too except man Danielle Harris is pretty. Especially on screen. And so I decided fuck it, I’ll be greedy. I mean, it’s Halloween season, it’s time to get some horror themed stuff in here, right? Today I want to fuck Katharine Isabelle and Danielle Harris.
Mockingbird! Mockingbird guys! I kind of knew this post was going to be inevitable when it was announced that Adrianne Palicki was going to be Bobbi Morse. I was excited because this is what I always wanted SHIELD to be, a way to have the nooks and crannies of the marvel universe fleshed out on screen. And I love Mockingbird. I mean she’s not a-list but this is so much better than the first season when it was all Z-list or just no list people. She is like… decidedly C+. I’m going with C+. But I love her. And it’s really exciting. And that doesn’t even get tot he part where I just love Adrianne Palicki. Because I love everyone associated with Friday Night Lights and she is one of the many, many great things about that show. She was so good on it as Tyra and I can’t wait to see what she can do with Bobbi. I wish Hollywood gave her more work but I appreciate that they have decided from now on she is just going to play asskickers. It makes sense, look at her, she’s a damn amazon. I love it. I mean, Mockingbird guys! We have a total badass on the show now! I am so pumped! Today I want to fuck Adrianne Palicki.
You have likely surmised if you’ve been following me a while and you actually read the words on your screen, I happen to like Kristen Bell. A lot. Which is why she is here today. I haven’t seen her in anything recently. No official reason she has popped into my head. She is just here. Or maybe I am wrong, I read some old thing I wrote yesterday from about 8 years ago and it had a reference to my attraction to her. Maybe that sparked it. Either way it goes to show how long I have had this obsession. I can’t really be blamed, she is talented and charming and amazing so what am I supposed to do? Pretend she isn’t? Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.
Who I want to Fuck Today 