Tag: Actress

So this is the third time I’ve posted Ariana Grande in like… uh, 2 weeks? 3 weeks? It feels like a lot in a short period but I am not entirely certain. I could count. I won’t but I could. Just want to head off any discussion that I can’t count. I can count. I am not stupid, just lazy. Anyway, if you haven’t seen her God is a Woman video it’s pretty good. The part with the paint especially. It made me think of What Dreams May Come which is a movie that was very divisive at the time. Some people thought it was so beautiful to look at that’s all that mattered. Some thought it was largely pretty but hollow. And audiences didn’t see it at all. So those were the three major camps. I ended up seeing it on VHS cause a friend swore it was the most astonishing thing to look at in the world. I tended to agree. Just in case anyone wants to see a 20+ year old Robin Williams movie but was waiting on my opinion. You can thank Julia, she discovered it, not me. Anyway, since that movie had scenes that literally took place in paintings, Ariana’s video reminded me of it and I found it quite pleasant. It really is very pretty and as an added bonus the video is about 3% the length of a movie that people had mixed feelings on Ariana Grande is at least 25% hotter than Robin Williams. At least. So it’s a win win. Today I want to fuck Ariana Grande.

So this is Elvira, who I have considered posting in the past but never actually have. Part of that is I was never like… intensely attracted to Elvira. A lot of times when you’ll see me post a star who was at her height in the days of old I will have some story about being way into her. I don’t have that here. Elvira was maybe a bit too goofy to ever really be a huge object of desire for me (and if we’re being honest a good bit too 80’s for me as well). I mean, there were a lot of boob jokes and a lot of boobs almost falling out of tops but the whole point was that it was over the top and silly and even in junior high I wasn’t like, “That’s hot”. I was like, “That’s funny”. But, to be honest, there were boobs almost falling out of tops. And those of you raised with the internet might not realize this but once upon a time boobs were a very scarce resource. Like, you guys don’t even know about the boob scarcity that existed for teenagers once upon a time. We didn’t have porn hub or tumblr or you know, every single corner of the internet. There was no internet. Not really, not how you think of it and those few saps dialing in to BBoards weren’t getting boobs for their troubles. No, they were getting pings and whines and hisses and some dudes anti-government diatribe. It was a different time. So while there was never a point in my life where I was like, “Oh, shit, Elvira!” there were points where it was like, “Hey, Elvira has boobs”. Like, she was a semi-ubiquitous pop culture figure in the 80’s. Not a big deal but one of those ever present little deals that meant everyone just knew who she was. I didn’t know exactly what she did when I was really young. She was spooky. My mom did not like her and would not have liked me watching her on TV. So I didn’t know she had a show or how to consume Elvira as content but somehow stumbled across her multiple times and you know, the feeling of getting away with something mixed with the youth of not realizing the movies she was showing were terrible were enough that the whole thing always felt like a thrill. So I have fond memories, in part because I have always been obsessed with horror hosts. I missed the golden age of those by like… well 30 years or something and there wasn’t much of it when I was a kid but they existed. Which I bring up because a big part of the reason Elvira is here today is as a public service announcement. Because I know this blog is mainly followed by people looking for important news to help their every day life. It’s the main purpose of the blog. Joe Bob Briggs is another horror host, and he used to host a show on the Movie Channel when I was a kid which my friend had and we used to stay up late at sleep overs in the summer to watch it and movies we never should have been watching. It was marvelous. Well, tonight, at 9 PM ET, Joe Bob Briggs is going to stream a live 24 hour marathon on Shudder. Shudder is not paying me for this, though if they want to I will totally sell out for their service because I love it. I have included a link because their live TV part is free and I think it will be on there. Don’t quote me. But my point is horror hosts are great. They are stupid and cheesy and make bad jokes and I love them. I just described Joe Bob Briggs and Elvira in this case. But I am posting Elvira because she’s definitely better looking. She’s retired so I can’t point you to what she’s doing for Friday the 13th but you know, think about her if you watch something else spooky tonight. Today I want to fuck Elvira.

Here is Emmy Rossum because she always looks pretty. That might seem strange and yes, I find everyone I post here attractive and so on but there are a select few who are a special kind of pretty. I am not saying they are my most posted or my all time favorite celebrities, they are more just people who seem to always look amazing no matter what, in any kind of outfit, and it’s always striking just how pretty they are. She’s one of them. She doesn’t seem to take a bad picture. She was at an event yesterday and looked very pretty. So here she is. Today I want to fuck Emmy Rossum.

Ariana Grande has shown up in a bunch of press stuff recently and that’s just a great because why on earth wouldn’t i want more Ariana Grande? It’s nice because there was a good patch there where she kind of disappeared. Not totally. I mean, she is Ariana Grande but it went from her being everywhere to kind of nowhere. This was a dark time as far as I am concerned. That time is over. Hopefully. Today I want to fuck Ariana Grande.

Olivia Munn was in Rogue Magazine. It was a cool looking photoshoot very neon and like… I dunno, look it up, it had this feel to it I dug. I also thought she looked hot as fuck in it. You know, to put all my cards on the table. She looked good. So I figured I’d post her. Today I want to fuck Olivia Munn.

Here is Daisy Ridley because it always feels like a good day to post her to me. I haven’t like, rewatched any Star Wars stuff this week or anything but I am basically always thinking about Star Wars in some way. And she popped into my head. Because she is great. So I am not going to fight that. Today I want to fuck Daisy Ridley.

Priyanka Chopra was in Maxim India and looked great so I am posting her. It’s pretty simple math there. I happen to find her extremely attractive, a fact that has come up once or twice on this blog over the years. I have nothing interesting to say here because I stopped watching Quantico after the first season and now the world has stopped watching it. Hopefully she continues to get Hollywood work cause I like having her over here. Cause she’s beautiful. Today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.

So Natalie Dormer was at Wimbledon and it immediately brought to mind this old quote from Catch Me if You Can, “Why do the Yankees always win? Because the other team can’t keep their eyes off the pinstripes”. Now, there are some holes in this theory because how the fuck would you explain the Cubs for 100 years but I get the general thrust. A con man is saying it and the point holds a lot of validity, people can be easily dazzled and if they think you’re a winner than you’re a winner. The Yankees win cause they’re the Yankees. And I thought of that and I then thought maybe Natalie Dormer shouldn’t be allowed to wear pinstripes. Like, it could make her dangerously powerful. She’s already a living example of what happens if you are made of confidence, you mix that crooked smile with pinstripes and I can only think of it making her unstoppable. Like, take over the world unstoppable. I mean, it could be weeks of us laboring in her salt mines before it dawns on us, “Wait, why did we agree to this?” It just seems almost too dangerous to give that level of dazzle to someone who is already confident enough to convince you of anything face to face already. Dangerous. That’s all I’ll say though because I don’t want to be on record against the Overlord’s regime if it does come to pass. She looked good. I liked the suit. Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. If you are an American you should hold these words as near sacred. They are at the heart of the identity we have constructed for ourselves as a nation and as a people. But they aren’t just words. They were and are a radical and important sentiment. I would say the thing that makes July 4, 1776 just an important day in human history rather than the most important day in human history is the inherent hypocrisy of the grand sentiments Thomas Jefferson put down followed by our treatment of African Slaves and Native American populations. I’m not trying to bring you down but it’s important to note how close we can to being truly radical in our approach to how man treats man. It’s important to always keep in your heart and on your mind and look around to see if we are still falling short today. It is a guiding principle and a standard we should never fall short of. If we find ourselves doing so then we should do what we can to correct our course. Happy 4th of July everyone. I hope your day is good, I hope it’s fun. If you’re not an American I still hope it’s good but I am imagining fewer hot dogs, hamburgers and fireworks in your day. But hey, I have no problem if you choose to indulge in those things today. I am posting Lili Reinhart because she was in Harper’s Bazaar and looked really good. On top of that, there are few things that feel more American to me than Archie Comics and Betty and Veronica. Your mileage may vary but the comics were ubiquitous in my childhood. I didn’t know anyone who was intensely a fan of the comics but I also didn’t know anyone who hadn’t read a bunch at some point and wasn’t familiar with it. Art can serve multiple roles in our world. Sometimes it is aspirational, sometimes it is critical, and sometimes like with Archie it serves as a window into how we see ourselves. Betty Cooper is a deeply decent and good person in the comics and even on Riverdale from what I have seen, though I fell off in season 2. Either way, the world of Archie paints American kids as good and decent people for the most part. It is how we tend to see ourselves and again, we should ask ourselves if we are falling short or not. Is the world functioning the way we think it should? Well, anyway, Lili Reinhart is pretty. And an American. So take that King George. You can suck it with our pretty girls and hot dogs and what not. Today I want to fuck Lili Reinhart.

So any time Karen Gillan shows up somewhere I am pretty much going to post her. There are two factors at play here. The first is I really like Karen Gillan. She is both very attractive and very funny and I have just always found her charming. Maybe it’s her innate Scottishness, but there is a way about her that somehow sets her apart (joke about Irn Bru here? I’m not that great at this). The other is that she is also a rare treat. It’s better than it used to be now that she’s part of the Marvel Empire but still, it isn’t like a lot of celebrities where you can expect some huge wave of attention every time she’s in something. I mean, my phone called Thanos and the No Good, Very Bad Day a Karen Gillan movie but the people promoting it didn’t see it that way. So it means I am more likely to pounce. Yet I didn’t this past week. She was at the Ant-Man and Wasp premier and I almost posted her but then didn’t. Because that happens. And yet all week Karen Gillan was in the back of my mind. So I am posting her today. Cause she’s great. Today I want to fuck Karen Gillan.