Last night I was talking to my friend whole-lies-and-half-smiles about how we are both more than willing to lie to each other, betray each other, and sabotage each other for a chance with Anna Kendrick.  This is what a strong friendship is built upon, honesty about your willing to outright and lie and destroy each other.  That and a common acknowledgement that Anna Kendrick is fucking awesome.  She is awesome guys.  I mean she’s pretty, she’s smart, she’s talented, she’s funny, she can turn friend on friend and I assume brother on brother.  I guess that last part is not such a huge positive but I am not sure she can help it so you’d have to be a dick to hold it against her.  Anyway, she is awesome.  If you agree we should be friends.  If you also like Orange Soda and snowball fights we should be best friends.  My inbox is open.  Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

Anna Kendrick is feverishly promoting Into the Woods at the moment but she’s here because I finally got around to seeing Happy Christmas.  It felt wrong to watch it in June.  Also I was in no rush because Joe Swanberg movies are… never bad but always leave me a little cold.  Like they are ok but could be better.  Anyway, it makes more sense to watch it in December.  Being on Netflix helps.  I probably enjoyed it more than any other Swanberg movie though and it was 100% because Anna Kendrick is fucking delightful.  This isnt like news, I didn’t just discover this, I am well aware she is among the most charming and likeable people in Hollywood.  I am just saying, she is fucking delightful.  She was great.  She’s always great.  She’s just so damn good at what she does and I can’t even begin to explain how much that makes me like someone.  On top of that she’ just all Anna Kendricky in general (being Anna Kendrciky involves a mix of being hilarious, charming, and attractive).  Obviously I had no choice but to post her.  Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Even those of you in godless, turkey free nations who have no thanksgiving.  And yes, even you Canadians who celebrate Thanksgiving at a ridiculously early time (I know, I know, in Canada the winter starts in like June, you have to move Thanksgiving up).  I am thankful for all of you.  The internet can be a pretty sweet place sometimes and you guys are a big part of that.  I guess in being thankful for the internet and friends I have made on it it made me think of Anna Kendrick.  Not because she’s my friend or anything but because she’s pretty great at the internet, too.  Also she is just great.  Really I don’t need a reason to pick her besides the fact that she exists.  I mean, she’s so dreamy, right?  Right.  Happy Thanksgiving, I hope you guys enjoy yourselves.  Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

I honestly feel like I shouldn’t have to explain why I am posting Anna Kendrick when I do.  Because she’s Anna Kendrick, obviously I am posting her. It seems more like if you don’t immediately get it I just feel bad for you.  You must not have really been exposed to Anna Kendrick at all.  This strikes me as a very sad state of life to be in.  One where you aren’t aware of how awesome Anna Kendrick is.  I say you get to googling.  Cyber stalk her a little.  You’ll get it.  She’s great.  Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

It’s really hard to believe but I ran this blog for 8 months before Anna Kendrick showed up.  At that point she was one of those people who I knew would eventually show up because I really liked her work as an actress but I didn’t know when.  I did not expect her to be the 7th most frequent pick on my blog ever.  The thing is not only is she a good actress she is just so charming and once you realize that and you get sucked into the charm offensive that is how she lives her life then it’s like… how could you be so oblivious before?  Like how did I watch Rocket Science and only think she was a good actress.  In retrospect I should have realized she also was amazing and destined to be an internet sensation.  So obvious in retrospect.  Anyway, she’s here again and it’s because she fucking rules.  Nothing more to say than that (though hilariously when I posted her last time someone reblogged and seemed baffled by how I end these.  Which I get, if you’ve never read this before it can be confusing when I end it with what I am about to end this with).  Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

I have mentioned before that there are certain girls that I fully recognize are pretty and I see why others are attractive but something about them gives me a friend vibe.  I have noted this for Sarah Michelle Gellar and Emma Stone.  I would totally hang out with them.  I have very little interest in sleeping with them.  It seems like they could be exclusive except Anna Kendrick proves that to be utter horseshit because I totally want to be Anna Kendrick’s best friend.  I think she’s be awesome to hang out with.  And I realize saying that will be exhibit A when I am arrested and deemed unhealthily obsessed with Anna Kendrick.  Well, no, probably at least exhibit C.  A will be this blog.  This blog will be my downfall if the FBI ever wants to frame me for anything.  Close behind that will be my My Pictures Folder which is like 500k images strong and over 300 GBs.  That will make me look super crazy.  Then they’ll twist my words here.  I am not saying Anna Kendrick and I are best friends.  We might not even get along but she sure seems like someone you could get along with.  Absolutely fun to hang out with.  That doesn’t deter from her attractiveness though, in her case it seems to enhance it.  I had a point I was going to make here but I got distracted thinking about how one day my hard drive will doom me (no seriously, I saved half those pictures because they are hilarious.  I am not like INTO that stuff. Ewww).  Anyway, today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

So yesterday Anna Kendrick showed up on WTF and I got excited when I saw that and knew my goal was to plow through the two episodes in the way to get to her because Anna Kendrick is awesomely charming.  So I got there and of course an hour long interview with her was great.  She even talked a little about the strange people who have crushes on her and stuff (she was of course talking about other people, no one reading this) but it all just reinforced that she is hilarious and great.  There is just something about her, she just seems like a lot of fun and… I dunno, it’s hard to really phrase.  She commented that no one would ever walk up to Jessica Biel and say the sort of things they say to her.  They expect her to find it funny.  I guess this is because in everyone’s mind Anna Kendrick is kind of like girl friend or best friend material.  She seems approachable because she seems like someone they want to spend time with.  This is actually a pretty big compliment I think.  Though I guess it isn’t for me to decide if she should be flattered.  I think she’s great though and today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

So I had a dream about Anna Kendrick last night.  Now you might be saying, “Hearing about other people’s dreams is boring”.  The good news is that I can’t hear you on account of this being the internet and also the dynamics of space-time being such that you won’t read this until I am done, so you get to hear about my dream!  Lucky you!  So we were at war with Russia and China, and by us I mean the forces of good, not just Anna Kendrick and I.  But we were planning a major assault that would win the war the next day because in my dreams that is how wars work I guess.  I was joining the fight against the Russians and Anna Kendrick was actually leading an all girl squad into China.  Because obviously this is a great idea, I don’t want to brag but my subconscious is a tactical genius.  Anyway, she and I hung out leading up to the battle and she was really cool.  And good news, we won the war!  Again because my subconscious is a tactical genius.  So I woke up thinking about Anna Kendrick cause I slept thinking about Anna Kendrick.  I am fully ok with this, gold star night for my brain.  Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

So it turns out today is Anna Kendrick’s birthday, which uh, good for her?  I mean, birthdays are cool and all but at their core it’s deeply silly to celebrate the fact that you didn’t die for an entire year.  It’s not really that hard.  Except it’s not really about that, really, at our core we like to express how happy we are someone exists.  Or you know, we’re narcissists who insist other people express that.  We all have that friend, right, the one who mentions their birthday is coming up for like 2 fucking months and then organizes some big thing and then acts touched like I can’t believe you guys are all here for me!  And it’s like, well, you invited us.  There’s going to be cake.  Let’s not act like someone’s giving you the medal of freedom, you invited people into a situation that would involve free cake (I mean people just go apeshit when free cake is brought up.  Seriously, ask any Bourbon, people lose their heads over free cake), it isn’t quite like getting 300 men to defend a small pass against thousands of Persians or anything.  But you know, good for you.  Anyway, my basic point is that I normally don’t even notice this sort of thing or particularly care.  This blog isn’t really about celebrating birthdays, I mean, that would be a pretty great tumblr so go make who I want to sing Happy Birthday to Today and I’ll follow you but that’s not this one.  But Anna Kendrick has shown up on my dash a fair bit because other people are noting her birthday and I get it because she is pretty great.  Like I get the crushworthyness.  I get why you want to celebrate her existence because she is smart and funny and just seems awesome.  I too want to celebrate her existence and wish her happy birthday.  Also today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.