Hey guys, I am posting Barbara Palvin today because my dear friend @she-goes-to-eleven (who tumblr won’t even let me properly tag anymore) is basically done with tumblr. I don’t blame her. I am not sure I want to deal with the frustration of fighting with Tumblr’s bots either and the more details that come out about this the grosser it gets. Verizon wants to know how to commodify black lives matter? Great, no thanks, sorry. Anyway, this is feeling like a swan song this week but it’s my blog so I have decided it’s a victory lap. The reason Kat is getting mentioned is cause she is my friend and we are very close. I have made a few close friends on tumblr and each friendship is unique, which is part of why a platform self destructing can be so sad, you are never sure if an online friendship is portable. Often they are not. It would be sad to lose that because people have more than one friend (I hope. Verizon probably doesn’t. Who would be friends with them?) but each friendship is unique. You aren’t sad about losing a friend because you’re out of friends, you’re sad cause you’re losing that unique bond. Without Kat I will need to find someone new to sexually harass me and tell me how smart and funny I am. Lesbians like that don’t grow on trees. Because lesbians are people, you assholes, they’re born like the rest of us. Anyway, I met Kat when she reached out to me about… something. Probably cute boys I guess? That would make sense, she is a girl so it could only be that or shopping. She has been hurt by this because of course as a member of the LGBT community a lot of this is a betrayal. She was just a young lesbian with nothing but a vagina and a dream when I met her. And that dream was to look at pictures of naked ladies largely. Dream won. Now, I know people are saying you can see that elsewhere but I promise you there are not as many places as friendly to a girl who wants to look at porn out there as you think. On top of that she made friends here, like I did, and not all those friendships are portable. So I get her sense of betrayal and abandonment. I think it’s valid and the fact that my friend was hurt by this action is more than enough reason for me to tell tumblr it can go fuck itself. I am posting Barbara Palvin because in truth I could post almost any girl but she is one of Kat’s favorites. And I like her too. So it’s a win win post really. Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

Barbara Palvin was at a thing for Victoria’s Secret. I guess it has to do with the Fashion Show and who will get to be in it. Exciting we might get to see Barbara in it again. But really she just looked ridiculously good arriving for it. Like, unnaturally good for arriving at a building. It’s like shes’ a model or something. SO here she is. Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

Barbara Palvin is at the Venice Film festival which is pretty exciting because traditionally she looks fantastic in Venice. This seems like a strange stalker thing to say because how would I know which cities she looks best in but I promise you this is a strange regularly posting celebrities to a blog thing. I am of the opinion that Barbara Palvin has a passion for film. I say this because she always attends Cannes and she always attends the Venice Film Festival. Every year. As well, her instagram stories often have her watching some old movie or something. I could be coincidence, you can’t really know someone through social media but it seems like it might be a thing she is really into. Anyway, the result is she is always at the Venice Film Festival and usually is photographed all over Venice and I dunno what it is about the city but she always looks amazing in it. Maybe along with fashion and film she has a deep love for ancient mercantile empires. Boy, if that’s true Barbara Palvin is just a deeply fascinating human being. Can you imagine the dinner party conversation? Boy, who else has thoughts about the Duchy of Amalfi that they are going to share? Besides me I guess. Anyway, that last part is pure conjecture but maybe. She looked good though as she often does so today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

Barbara Palvin is at Cannes, which is a thing I knew would happen. First because she’s been talking about it on social media for a month it seems. She really loves going. Second because she always go. As proof I have added pictures of her on the Cannes red carpet over the years. It seems like a strange thing to need proof for if I am going to be honest. Why would I make that up? I have no idea but hey, you need evidence you need evidence. It’s your life. I think she looked fantastic yesterday. As she often does but it was a dress that really suited her, sort of elegant, sort of sexy. She looked good. Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

Here is Barbara Palvin cause she’s pretty hot. I guess you could disagree but at the same time I have included strong photographic evidence so… well, you’re wrong. You’re just embarrassing yourself. I am not even sure why you’d argue this. Is Barbara Palvin not being hot the hill you want to die on? Seems foolish to me. No one will come to your funeral, they’ll all be super embarrassed but also they won’t want to ruin their even tiny chance with Barbara Palvin by looking like they are endorsing your ludicrous stance. Here lies and Internet Dumbass. Too stupid to know Barbara Palvin was hot. No one wants that on their tombstone. Consider me your Ghost of Christmas Future. You may yet change these shadows I have shown you with an altered life. What I am saying is you’re welcome, I’ve probably saved your life with these pictures of Barbara Palvin. For the rest of you sorry, I mean, obviously you already knew she was hot but sometimes you have to reach out to hypothetical internet dumbasses and offer them a helping hand. Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

So Barbara Palvin is in Paris now.  For Fashion Week I mean.  I’m not tracking her movements.  That would be creepy.  But she is there and she wore a shiny dress and I thought she looked really great and I was like, “Oh wow, I need to post her. It’s been forever since I posted her”.  By forever it turns out I meant literally 5 days.  Five Days is Forever.  Which, now that I say it out loud sounds like a great name for a mid 2000’s Emo Band.  You’re welcome to it if you’re a time traveling musician. Anyway, I can’t be expected to keep track of things like time or my own blog, not when there are pictures of Barbara Palvin to look at.  Here are pictures of her at various things, mostly Fashion Week stuff but not all because there are only so many.  Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

I was having trouble knowing what to write or do today.  I was in a dark mood and I try not to let those take over my life and infect what I do but it can be hard.  But then Barbara Palvin showed up in pictures from the Alberta Ferretti Show during Milan Fashion Week and it solved everything.  That’s a pretty good trick.  I had someone to post and had something to talk about which is holy fuck Barbara Palvin looks hot as fuck walking for Alberta Ferretti.  Now, obviously she’s wearing a shiny shirt and well… ok in the Ozarks the most unsporting way to hunt a raccoon was to cut a small hole in a log and place something shiny in it.  The raccoon would reach in and grab the shiny thing but by making a fist it’s hand was too big to get back out.  But the Raccoon will not give up it’s shiny stuff, so it’s still there when the hunter comes back, trying to pull it’s little hand free and then the hunter bashes the raccoon in the head and the hunt is over.  What I am saying is when I die there is about a 90% chance it will be because someone puts a celebrity in a sparkly dress and then bashes me over the head with a rock.  It’s how I am going to go.  We all have our own fate.  So yeah, she’s wearing a shiny shirt and that must be a factor but really she just looks so good.  So very good.  So she is here.  Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

Previews for Sports Illustrated’s 2018 Swimsuit Issue have started to surface as they put up a picture or two of the various models and it serves as a great reminder than everything is a lie.  When that magazine comes out in like 9 months, just remember there is nothing in it that is vaguely recent.  Nothing like a peak behind the curtain to serve as that harsh wake up call that those people on TV are not friends, the monkey was an asshole, and every apartment you ever have will disappoint you because they are just not that big and if they were no person in their 20’s could afford one, especially not 20 somethings who seem to almost never be at work. There is probably a greater lesson there but I am not going to spoon feed it to you, I will just say Barbara Palvin is one of the people who will be in the issue and she is adorable and sexy.  So complete truth, today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.