Tag: blonde

So the Oscars were last night. You probably aren’t aware. I won’t take the time to explain what they are because you can Google that. Some of you are probably upset, especially about certain categories. I am here to remind you of a few things. The first is that awards shows are bullshit. The Oscars most of all. Keep in mind Harvey Weinstein bullied his way into multiple forgettable Best Picture Oscars for his studio. Keep that in mind and realize it’s nice to win but there is a lot going on. Second is that art is not a thing to be quantified with numbers. Be that box office receipts, numbers on a review aggregation, or numbers of awards won. Art transcends such things because art speaks to the soul and no one, not even people in really fancy tuxedos, can tell you what a work of art means to you or what is the most important to you. The Oscars are a giant pat on the back for Hollywood and always will be. They are a party with a lot of glitz but still just a party. It’s the movies that are magic. It is the movies that have meaning. This doesn’t mean you are wrong to be upset, especially when it comes to representation in awards. Rage. You won’t be wrong. But I also know that the great movies win out in the end. Do the Right Thing lost in 1989 but it’s the movie from that year that is transcendent and recognized as such. So what you should do is share what you loved from this year. Shout it from the rooftops. Or just tell your friends. Share what you love and it will find it’s home in people’s hearts. For me, the Best Picture race this year was bound to be a disappointment and a triumph at the same time. Well, I was hoping about the second part. I had three movies I truly loved and another that was off kilter enough I didn’t mind it if it won. One of the three won. Get Out got the screenplay at least. So I am going to bring up Ladybird because it didn’t win a damn thing and that’s a shame. I see it being billed as a comedy and it can be funny but I found it to be a beautiful portrait of a certain time in a person’s life. There are hard parts to this movie. The mother is an abuser and a lot of the audience doesn’t seem to recognize it. The portrayal is perfect. The script, the movie, all of it. And so is Saoirse Ronan, who was nominated for the third time this year. I certainly hope she wins at some point, she deserves it. She played a tricky character, one that in lesser hands would have been easy to hold in contempt. Instead I loved her. So the Oscars are over and you might be upset. That’s ok. I am not because I have my experience with the films I saw and they are still there. I am going to share what I loved this year though. I loved Ladybird and you should see it. Today I want to fuck Saoirse Ronan.

Kate Upton seems to be having a good couple of weeks here. I don’t mind that at all. She did a shoot for Lipsy and I thought she looked fantastic. She really has looked great lately. So I am posting her. It’s that simple. Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Here is Jennifer Lawrence who has wanted to be posted for about a week but somehow kept getting trumped by ice and snow. She’s finally here though. I think Red Sparrow looks pretty silly. Maybe it will be good but if it’s good I am relatively sure it will be in kind of a ridiculous way. I am fine with that, we’ll see. She has generally looked really good in the lead up to it though. Some dresses were better than others but on the whole they were very good. So I give it a thumbs up and I give her a thumbs up. Today I want to fuck Jennifer Lawrence.

Sorry to break up my Olympic posts with the kind of celebrities that people actually started following me for but hey, it happens. Unless you’re one of the ones who really hates when I post athletes, in which case congratulations, I hope you love Fashion Week. If you don’t like the Olympics or Fashion Week it might be time to take a hard look at your life. It sounds like the commonality there is you. Maybe you’re the problem. Quit being so negative. Anyway, Gigi Hadid is in Milan and walked for Moschino whose stuff I usually hate. I am not typically one to declare my hate for stuff but man, it is just usually so not for me that I cannot find another word. Yet this time she looked splendid and I really liked it. And now I am getting Deja Vu, so maybe a similar thing happened in the fall during Fashion Week? Maybe I posted the same thing them. Some people would worry about repeating themselves but I will just praise my consistency. I am no yeasaying weather cock who lets the winds of fad and public opinion sway me. I am not so fickle. I am a person of character and moral resolve. Which is what this blog really is about. So yes, I am posting Gigi Hadid because for upright and noble reasons having to do with standing for your convictions. That conviction being that I don’t like Maoschino usually but it looked pretty good this time and I find Gigi Hadid to be attractive. You’re welcome. Today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

I wanted to say that time has been more than kind to Tara Lipinski but the more I think about it the more I think that maybe Tara Lipinski made time her bitch. It takes a special sort to look better at 36 than at 26 and I don’t know if it’s the same good genetics that causes someone to win a gold medal at 15 years old or if it’s a by product of being in amazing shape your entire life or some third thing I didn’t think of. All i know is that she really is impressive. I know she has a reputation for steely resolve and nerves of steel, which can be hard to reconcile with the 5 foot tall woman doing silly dances and making goofy jokes on my screen but I was such a mess at 15 that I couldn’t even have an innocuous conversation with someone I liked and not end up caught in my head for the next week I was a mess, so you probably have to be tough to win the gold over the favorite at the Olympics at 15. But more impressive than her winning the gold at 15 is what she has become since. I think perhaps the most impressive thing a person can do is transcend a moment of greatness early in their life and become known for something more later. Eclipsing the earlier thing. A gold medal is about as impressive as they come and for most people there isn’t a higher peak to climb. But 4 years ago I almost posted Tara Lipinski because she showed up on my TV and made figure skating captivating with her announcing. She and Johnny Weir might be the biggest breath of fresh air on my TV, they are hilarious and knowledgeable and intense and fun to look at and it’s just amazing. I can’t believe NBC was smart enough not just to hire them but suddenly give them more work. And it’s so good that I can only imagine in a decade Tara Lipinski will not be a gold medalist to most people, most people will only know her as half of the best pair of pop culture commentators in the world. And I guess I find that really impressive. That someone can be so good at two things. She just makes me laugh and I enjoy watching her and yeah, she’s gotten really hot int he past decade. I don’t know if dressing like an announcer for the hunger games makes her hotter or if I find her hot despite that. I can’t tall. But I love it. So maybe time hasn’t been kind to her, maybe she told time it can fuck convention, she’s just going to refuse to age and keep looking better. Because she bucks convention. Today I want to fuck Tara Lipinski.

So last night I sat around watching the Olympics on mute and listening to old British Rock bands on vinyl (the obvious pairing of course), just like every other red blooded American does. Anyway, my musings about do we listen to pop music because we’re miserable or are we miserable because we listen to pop music were derailed this morning when I saw a picture of Rowan Cheshire, whose name could only be more British if it was Nigel Pennyworth Cumberbatch IV, which I hate to reinforce gender roles and so one but would be a terrible name for a girl. So it’s probably the most British she personally could have. Anyway, here is where I do some scouting for you guys for tonight because the first part of the Women’s Ski Half-pipe is tonight for Americans. At some other time for godless heathens. Uh, like Rowan I guess. Anyway, she is just beautiful and sexy tattooed freestyle skiing badass and she reminds me a little of Alexis Ren. I don’t know what record to pair that with. My heart says 80’s training montage music but maybe Yakety Sax if you don’t like sports, that sounds hilarious. But the truth is if you can’t find some joy in the half-pipe, with the way they are able to get air and contort their bodies, then you’re a regular Ebenezer Catesbury Mudbottom (note, I cannot wait for your corrections about this name as you explain to me that also you’re not a classic, humorless Sir Hugh Hawthorne-Tittensor), which is well known to be the most curmudgeonly British name. Today I want to fuck Rowan Cheshire.

I would apologize about Kate Upton twice in the same week but I am not sorry. Not at all. There was a Sports Illustrated Launch event Wednesday night but I didn’t see the pictures until late and holy shit guys. Not just Kate, though man I love Kate’s dress, but like everyone looked amazing at it. There is something about a launch even for people wearing bikinis having one of the better red carpets recently that is counter intuitive but it happened. Everyone I have seen looked great. Many of them it was their best look in a while. Kate, who is fantastic looking, hasn’t always been great on the red carpet but I don’t know what changed recently but for the past 6 months or so she’s basically killed it. At worst she has looked pretty ok. At best it’s been amazing. She looked amazing the other day. So she’s here again because today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Well guys, here is Jessie Diggins, who is the best performer ever at Women’s Cross Country for the US. It’s not our sport and we don’t medal in it and early this morning she didn’t either. I know people were disappointing because she’s a great story. She’s adorable and charming and a real talker and from a close knit small community that gather together to watch her and it’s exactly what we want our dreamy Olympic gold medalist to be. But no one should be disappointed. She is still the best American woman ever at this. We should be proud. 5th is not 3rd but it’s good. And more importantly it’s a reminder that greatness can come in a lot of ways. Any Olympian is a big deal because they are Olympians. She is racing constantly and has more to come. She probably won’t medal at all. But she tries as hard as she can, she is someone we can be proud of, and you know what, that’s enough. Medals are nice. When Shaun White won the Gold the other day that was great but it wasn’t because the US gets another Gold Medal on the shelf. It was watching him sob and hug his parents and seeing him the happiest he’s ever been in his life. If Jessie Diggins medals it would be nice but I guess in my mind it doesn’t detract from my favorite thing about the Olympics. It’s human beings giving their all in a spirit that embodies the best of humanity. So I think she is charming and beautiful and I am proud she’s an American. Today I want to fuck Jessie Diggins.

Well guys, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue came out and that means it’s time to post Kate Upton. More importantly, today is my friend Kat’s birthday. You can message her at @she-goes-to-eleven but be warned, her blog is full of girls that qualify as her type. And her type is naked. So you know, be careful at work. Anyway, today is Kat’s birthday and for people’s birthdays I like to mention it and usually I want to make a connection as to who I am posting. Luckily with Kat it is easy because the connection was going to be that she was intensely attracted to whoever I posted. It basically didn’t matter, the girl loves girls. Anyway, now only is she intensely attracted to Kate Upton, they both are named Katherine, and even more of a coincidence, both live on the planet Earth. So it was really easy this time. Kate, by the way, looks fantastic. And has just looked great lately. It’s really nice to see but man she nailed the Swimsuit Issue. I am glad she is back. Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

I am running into problems. There are almost too many Olympics. There are so many people I wanted to post but only so much time. I mean, I feel like maybe people who have reached the Olympics probably aren’t checking this blog hoping I post them (though if you are, let me know I guess) but it still hurts my soul to not like… give recognition. Anyway, today was hard and I was going back and forth but the thing is I woke up to pictures of Silje Norendal being sent to me and her event was in the early hours of the morning and well… I think she is the most beautiful person at the Olympics. She is just gorgeous. It’s why she’s one of the athletes showing up here before that you’ll find plenty of older posts about as well. I won’t spoil the event if you haven’t seen yet and want to but you know, I will say it’s a shame that wind played such a factor. Canceling the qualifiers, shortening the number of runs. Not for Silje’s sake but in general, because everyone there, this is one of the biggest moments of their career. I feel they were cheated some by not getting the full chance to show what they can do (and I was cheated cause slopestyle is probably my favorite event and we got a shortened run from the men and women). Silje is beautiful and in some ways represents to me how far we have come with women’s athletics. There were a lot of nasty stereotypes about female athletes when I was a kid and she defies basically all of them. Then as a young adult there were other really dismissive stereotypes about attractive athletes (largely that they were garbage and were only allowed in to the top level to help ratings) and she defies those. And this doesn’t really make her a trailblazer, those women who dealt with all those comments were the trailblazers. Silje is just the norm now she is beautiful and talented and no one questions either of those things based on the other thing. And that’s really nice. Today I want to fuck Silje Norendal.