Tag: blonde

So the ITV Gala was last night and that’s a thing that I know exists because I saw the words together.  Of course, as an American I am going to post about it because if there is one things Americans are passionate about it’s British TV networks and the events surrounding them even though we don’t know which shows come from that Network and which ones are from the BBC and if there are other British Networks.  There must be, right?  There can’t just be two channels.  Maybe there are.  There were only 5 channels when I was a kid, or well 7 but two were these really weird UHF outliers and I am not sure what they even put on the air when cartoons were over.  But my point is since England is a lot smaller maybe those are the only channels they could fit.  That can’t be right can it?  Well, the notoriously savvy Brits who follow me will no doubt pipe up to help me out with useful facts about their television and maybe to explain to me that Guy Fawkes night is not a mispronunciation of Halloween again but actually a whole separate thing.  Anyway, multiple people looked good but Pixie Lott looked the best.  Looking good seems to come easy to her in general. Today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

Here is Fearne cotton cause shiny dresses guys.  I like Shiny Dresses.  It’s a thing I have been teased about but I should point out I like nice dresses that are shiny.  Just stapling tin foil to a dress won’t work.  If you were planning on that.  So you know.  Anyway, I particularly like her silver one.  The cut of it, the sleeves, I think it’s fantastic.  Fearne has somehow popped up on my radar a bunch the past few weeks, just various events and stuff and I have considered posting her, which feels like she is doing well because for someone who is only famous an ocean away you have to stand out a lot for me to find myself considering you.  Whatever, I am a bit out of it today.  It’s weird and rainy but I really like her fashion sense in general.  Which I guess isn’t news if you are British, that she is known for her fashion sense and if you aren’t you’ve already skipped over this becuase you have no clue who she is.  Today I want to fuck Fearne Cotton.

Here is Kristen Bell because I have been catching up on the good place but also cause today is my day and I am going to make it all about me and most years that means I post Kristen Bell.  She is great and I just love having her on a great show again.  The Good Place is fantastic and her comedic timing is amazing and now that I think about it this show feels like it is basically for me.  I mean, it makes me laugh out loud and there was an episode this season that referenced Immanuel Kant, Alan Leroy Locke, and Michel Foucault.  And probably more I missed.  That’s kind of like if  you were designing a thing for me a big part of what it would be.  A funny show with Kristen Bell that makes a ton of literary and philosophical references.  I mean, I spend a lot of time contemplating the nature of good and evil and what it means to live a good life already if I am going to be honest.  Which the show might be telling me is a waste of my time to a degree but either way, the show is totally for me.  And I adore Kristen Bell.  How can you not?  If you don’t you’re just 100% wrong. Sorry.  Somethings are just true.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

Halloween is done guys and thus it’s time to move on to the next thing. Summer. Obviously.  Or not obviously.  I mean that was a joke.  I guess I need to clarify since so many Brits felt the need yesterday to explain to me that Guy Fawkes Night is not the same thing as Halloween.  One guy even explained that it is not a mispronunciation of Halloween but an entirely separate Holiday.  Thanks, Internet, glad you’re on the job guys.  So I am joking about summer.  Unless you’re in Australia, in that case feel free to explain to me how you guys do seasons wrong.  And please, please correct me that they aren’t wrong but it has to do with what Hemisphere you live in (You know, the right one and the wrong one).  I really just wanted to post Alexis Ren because she’s pretty and it was easiest to choose a bunch of bikini pictures because she has done a lot of modeling for swimwear lines.  And htey are better pictures than the somewhat bland catalog pictures in front of a white wall that come with clothing lines sometimes.  But mainly because Summer is right around the corner and there is nothing else between Halloween and Summer.  Not a thing.  Today I want to fuck Alexis Ren.

Well thank god for Natalie Dormer.  I mean, America, you should be ashamed of yourselves.  Really America dropped the ball on the celebrity costume department this year and it took the Brits to come and save us.  Do you know how shameful that is?  They didn’t even start doing Halloween right until like 5 years ago.  For most of my life they were an utter disaster.  They often celebrated on the wrong day, everyone wore the same stupid mask, and somehow despite inventing the language they grossly mispronounced it as Guy Fawkes Day.  Like, I don’t even know how you fuck a thing up that badly.  And yet here we are.  I am posting Natalie Dormer and Holly Willoughby gets an honorary mention for a pretty fucking cool looking unicorn… thing.  I dunno, it felt weird posting it so Natalie Dormer wins out as a pirate because she looks awesome.  Natalie Dormer seems to use Halloween as an excuse to wear old timey stuff which, let’s be honest, is pretty brilliant on her part.  Besides the fact that it looks like a lot of fun, many TV shows and movies have pretty much proven it’s a look that she was made for.  So she’s here and this will probably be it for Halloween posts.  Unless it isn’t because somehow nothing has surfaced from Heidi Klum’s party, so maybe America has some hope yet. Though I guess they need help from a German Super Model to get there. Anyway, Natalie Dormer.  She looks fantastic and I really dig the pirate costume. Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.

Here is Veronica Lake dressed as a spooooooooooky witch for you guys cause Halloween is right around the corner.  Ok, maybe not that spooky, since it is from a romantic comedy but I am going to just guess most of my followers have never seen I Married a Witch so you don’t know that.  So trust me, it’s completely spooky.  It’s about an centuries old curse!  WooooooooO!  All of that is actually true but you know, tone is important.  She came up in conversation yesterday and honestly, the present day costumes sure are letting me down this year.  Luckily, we always have nostalgia to fall back on, the golden memories of yesteryear that we can twist to suit our desires so that the past always proves us right one way or another.  Speaking of nostalgia, Pigeon Foo replied to this ask yesterday and I enjoyed it because I love Halloween and I want to hear about people’s Halloweens.  I have already shared my favorite memories there but I can dig deep for another story.  During the end of my trick or treating days, I can’t remember what but we had entered the point where it was terribly uncool to care about anything, which I assume is still a thing that happens but was maybe the motto of my entire generation, caring is for losers, and I tried too hard with my costume.  Which wasn’t really all that hard, it was basically a grim reaper robe and scythe and then I painted my face and probably did a crummy job of it.  In general I lack artistic talent and while I can often imagine things and how I want them to look the translation from brain to pen really fucks things up and my picture ends up looking lamer than a stick figure.  So my face paint of a super scary skeleton face was probably terrible. But more importantly someone invited Josh Cox along and I fucking hated Josh Cox.  I think one of my friends liked him but I always thought he was a back full of dicks, which was convenient because his last name was Cox and I could be a vicious little shit and my only real revenge was to make fun of people until it caught on, and boy did I have a field day with the last name Cox back in Junior High.  I might secretly be the villain of this story actually.  Oh well.  Anyway, his grandfather had founded the country club in the neighborhood we were going to trick or treat in (houses around a country club often give good candy.  Like full sized candy bars.  It was insane).  We were so convinced that we were going get a lot of candy we didn’t bring bags or little plastic buckets, we brought pillow cases this time and everyone but me brought multiple masks so they could go back to the good houses more than once.  This is where the mocking lead by ol’ Josh Coxsucker (one of my many hyper clever nicknames I gave him in 6th grade) came in.  They all were just wearing t-shirts and jeans and a mask.  I had tried too hard.  He told me flat out no one would ever want to make out with me with all that face paint on.  Which, I’ll be honest, in retrospect feels like a real win for me.  I didn’t want to make out with any of the people we were trick or treating with.  Which I guess left the adults who were giving us candy.  I don’t remember wanting to make out with any of them and frankly if the only thing that was preventing them from making out with me was the face paint then I dodged a real bullet!  Sorry pedophiles, I have face paint on.  Anyway, often I have a point to these stories that ties everything back in and I guess I do here.  I guess my point is that Josh Cox was a dickhead and what’s the point of having a blog with thousands of followers if you can’t defame some kid from Junior High when you suddenly remember he existed for the first time in years.  Take that, Josh.  You suck.  Veronica Lake is awesome.  And if you are reading this please feel free to reblog with one of your favorite Halloween Memory or send it to me or whatever.  I genuinely want to know.  Today I want to fuck Veronica Lake.

So Stranger Things comes back today and I can’t imagine anyone cares about that because the internet is in no way obsessed with Stranger Things.  So what does Maika Monroe have to do with Stranger Things?  I don’t have a single clue!  Is she in this season’s episodes?  Was she just at the premier for some other reason?  Who knows!  It will be one of the many fascinating mysteries I can learn about this evening when I start to watch.  I’ll be on the edge of my seat.  Also stuff about the upside down but I am sure most people will be more interested in me finding out who is and isn’t on the show.  Either way, I really liked her dress at the premier because it’s red and sparkly.  And I should rewatch It Follows this weekend at some point.  Today I want to fuck Maika Monroe.

I have rewitten what I have here a couple of times because I wasn’t entirely happy with what I had to say. Or rather… well, let me explain I guess.  Taylor Swift has a new video coming out.  You likely know this because when Taylor Swift does something it is all over the news and internet and probably in your church newsletter.  There are already comments all over the internet about what shots in the preview images are secretly digs at this celebrity and that celebrity and that was the first way I approached this.  I find Taylor Swift troubling.  I like her sometimes, I want to like her all the times, but the truth is she is a predator disguised as prey.  Playing the victim is a power play, you can make someone else into the villain while you garner sympathy.  You will meet a lot of users in your life who are like this and it can take most of your 20’s to learn to identify them.  It becomes doubly troubling to me to look around the state of my country right now and see a white woman play the victim at the hands of a black man.  There is a lot to unpack there.  Someone noticed on twitter that Reputation is going to come out on the same date 376 years later that Rene Descaretes put out his Meditations on First Philosophy and I had a hilarious and hilariously mean quote I created but then realized I needed to stop.  First of all because no one else was going to get it.  Smarty had a party and no one came and there is nothing more pretentious than paraphrasing French Philosophers to make digs at American Pop Stars.  I also realized I wasn’t really making fun of Taylor, who I assume can take it, but making fun of her fans, which is uncalled for.  Because here is the real point I want to make today.  Every single hero has feet of clay.  It’s why the idea of fandom and the thing the internet has made out of it is highly disturbing to me.  I think it is good to like things and I think it is delightful to find other people with similar interests. I think it is disturbing to make what you like your identity.  I tend to run from people whose sense of self is wrapped up in being a gamer or a Swifty or really into fucking cartoon ponies.  It’s ok to like any of these things you but you are more than your interests.  At least I hope you are.  And that’s where the feet of clay thing becomes important.  There are things about Taylor Swift which will always nag at the back of my mind, I think I already mentioned the big one, but it’s ok for her to be your hero.  Heroes have flaws because our heroes are human beings (or I guess cartoon horses).  Human beings are only human and not perfect.  That is ok.  Heroes exist to motivate us and to give us something to look up to.  It’s ok to just love the good parts.  But it’s also why it’s important that a hero is inspirational, they are not a support system.  Your identity shouldn’t be wrapped up in who your hero is.  You can’t actually use them to prop yourself up because those feet will crumble.  I guess that’s my point.  If Taylor Swift has been important to you and helped you then that is great.  That is laudable on her part and I am happy for you.  But it’s not a religion.  If you are attacking people who disagree, if you have the devotion of a zealot I do think you should rethink.  I am not saying you should tear down your heroes (though I do think at some point we need to destroy our idols, it’s an important part of growing up and moving on) I am just saying that you should be more than who your hero is and you should use them to help you grow, not to stifle your growth.  That’s all.  I talked a lot about Taylor Swift here even if it wasn’t obvious.  I am still not sure I am satisfied here but oh well, only like three people will really read it anyway.  I am glad she means a lot to a lot of people and I have to admit, she is talented.  And she is pretty.  And I had stuff to say so I am posting her.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

I don’t know if anyone is aware but it’s October and that means Halloween is coming.  I probably haven’t mentioned it so it’s ok if you didn’t realize.  It is coming though.  I am excited.  Again, you probably had no idea.  Anyway, here is Jessica Nigri cause she wears costumes.  Sometimes I like how she looks in costumes and I have liked a few things recently a lot.  And you know… I wanted something Halloweeny.  And I mean, look at that black nurse Mercy costume.  It’s terrifying right?  This is a completely spooky post and I forgive every one of you who is so frightened by these spooky costumes that you forget to hit like or reblog.  You were too terrified.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Nigri.

Here is Blake Lively because she’s long overdue.  She’s been promoting her new movie and the result is suddenly she’s all over New York city wearing bright colors and fabulous outfits and just looking great.  Then it will be over and she’s disappear back into Westchester County.  She’s like some rare migratory bird or something, completely unseen for most of the year then suddenly she’s out for a few weeks in the fall, everyone takes pictures because it’s such a rare and beautiful sight and then she’s back into her hidey hole.  Or maybe there is a funnier, more accurate metaphor since I know nothing about birds.  I’ll leave that up to someone who cares more smarter.  My point is for a few days it has been amazing, especially because she seems really dedicate to looking as good as possible and showing off as many amazing looks as possible.  There are days she wore like 4 different things.  It’s fantastic.  I consider it a real public service she is doing because of course she looks great.  So today I want to fuck Blake Lively.