Tag: blonde

I was about to post Emily Ratajkowski today and it would have been the 4th time in 11 days, which is really often.  It carries the flaw of leaving me little to say and the occasional snide comment.  Well, luckily Kate Upton stepped in to save the day with a V Magazine shoot she and some other models did.  I saw that and actually said, “Oh my god”.  That is the Kate Upton I have been missing.  I don’t know what’s different but oh my god.  And for those of you who know me, like really know me, you will understand that picture feels almost liek it was taken just for me.  It’s amazing.  And believe it or not, the person I have posted the most ever is showing up here to give a nice change of pace.  Because oh my god!  Just… my god, today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

I really like Holly Willouhgby’s smile.  I don’t really know how to put it better than that.  It’s just that when some people smile the whole world smiles with them.  At least it feels that way.  There is something infectious about it.  I often feel that way with hers.  I guess she just looks pleasant and friendly.  I like pleasant and friendly.  She also makes me think of a dear friend of mine who is also pleasant and friendly.  So bonus points there.  I had a bad day yesterday and whined about it here.  I am having a better day today but it’s nice to have things that make you smile.  Like friends.  And Holly Willoughby. Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

Today has just been shitty.  Stressful, lame, angering.  And you know I am just getting home and I thought it would get better but it’s not.  It’s lame.  Of course, my favorite book as a child told me there’d be days like this, even in Australia.  So I didn’t get to post until now on account of my day.  I got home and was looking at new pictures and… there were some of Candice Swanepoel in a bikini and they made me happier.  I liked them for some reason.  And I don’t mean happier in some pervy way but you know just… I like pretty pictures.  I like pretty girls.  Maybe I like seeing people smile?  I don’t know, it just makes me realize how lucky I am because if pictures of Candice Swanepoel in a bathing suit makes me happy I have basically an endless supply.  About the only thing more convenient would be tap water.  If tap water made me happy that might be luckier.  Or not.  There is climate change.  That could make tap water harder to find than picture of Candice Swanepoel.  I guess technically the good news there is Candice Swanepoel will only get hotter? Welp, I am making dad jokes now so I am out.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

In the continuing series of “Things I am into but I didn’t know and this is strangely specific” today we have Pixie Lott in jean shorts.  Bonus points if she’s wearing a white top.  Now, I am not sure why this is true.  It probably helps that she is really pretty. Nice legs help.  But I would point out she is really pretty in other pictures and also she always has legs.  Always.  They are not detachable.  I googled just to make sure I am right.  Legs do not detach.  If you leg falls off you should see a doctor immediately because that is not typical leg behavior.  So I dunno why the jean shorts make a difference but they do.  It occurs to me if Nazi scientists ever need information about what strangely specific things I like to program an Armageddon-bot this blog is giving them all the information they need.  I really need to think about my life choices.  This entry is fucking strange.  Anyway, she is beautiful, I guess I like jean shorts, today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

So Taylor Swift did a shoot for Vanity Fair.  I rather like the shoot.  I saw some negative things said by some people but man, people love to shit on stuff.  It’s because not only is it easy, it makes you feel better about yourself.  It’s also pathetic.  Just… in case you were wondering.  Like, we all know those people.  The ones who seem to hate everything and they think it makes them profound or smarter for some how figuring out that everything sucks.  But… I hate to say it, if everyone you meet is an asshole, you’re probably the asshole.  If you think everything in the world is worthless there is exactly one commonality there.  I am being hard on people.  I get it.  When I was 13 I also thought it made me edgy and cool and hid the fact that I was insecure and had no fucking clue what I was doing.  So I get it and Taylor Swift doesn’t need me to defend her.  I hope not.  I am not particularly inclined to spend a lot of time doing so.  I just find the perpetual complaining a little boring, guys.  Anyway, here is Taylor, I thought she looked good.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

I am posting late today.  Usually when this happens I couldn’t think of someone or was torn between multiple people or something.  It is inspiration driven somehow, either too much or too little.  Today i just got busy and next thing I know it’s almost time for femalecelebrityoftheday to post. Whoops.  Well, here is Alexis Ren.  I am not sure if i hadn’t gotten distracted I would have posted her this morning because I don’t think I had anyone in mind really.  But usually someone pops into my head at some point.  For some reason in the past when I have posted her I have waxed Philosophical or waxed nostalgic or… waxed something else you wax.  The moon?  Hardwood floors?  Do you wax those?  Man, I have hardwood floors, I should really look into how you take care of those.  Anyway, she’s just here because she’s pretty and today I want to fuck Alexis Ren.

The first time I posted Maika Monroe it was really just rooted in the deep need to talk about It Follows and to get everyone to watch It Follows (minor digression, go watch It Follows.  If you haven’t seen it you really should, it is fantastic). Today I am posting her because I saw another excellent movie with her in it but she’s here because she frankly looked pretty hot in a lot of it.  She has many talents, she is not only a professional actress but also a professional Kiteboarder but apparently she has a talent for being in excellent movies because I have seen her in two so far and both rule.  Now, that’s no guarantee for the rest but for someone who has only been working for 3 years, it’s pretty damn impressive. The Guest is this interesting mix of  things and in a lot of ways it felt like a throw back to late night stuff I used to watch with friends in the 80′s but… much, much better and better made. It’s by the same guy who did You’re Next, whihc was also excellent.  So really, you guys have three movies to see from this post alone.  You lucky dogs. I am surprised I am posting her again because I thoguht it would be a one time thing but given her track record… well, we may be seeing a rising star here.  Either way, today I want to fuck Maika Monroe.

A few times this week discussions that have not been about Miss Mosh have caused me to think about Mosh.  And bring up Mosh.  So here’s Mosh cause clearly I am thinking about her.  This is likely because I think she is one of the most beautiful people on the planet.  She came up, I wanted to look for a specific picture of her but instead got distracted looking at pictures of her because again, she is beautiful, and next thing I know I am like, well, gotta post Mosh.  There is lot so commend her and i have written about it in the past but today it is just because she is a vision.  She just looks so amazingly good.  Today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.

At 23 years old I stood on a train platform in a distant city and watched the reflection of a sunset on the Biltmore.  The glass was full of vivid yellows and red and it was beautiful and painful and sad.  I had been told by movies and pop songs since my youth that nothing gold could stay and in that moment i knew it to be true.  We had taken a trip to rekindle something that may have never been there in retrospect and I knew at that moment this weekend was the last good time we would ever have together.  There is a melancholy to the end of things.  I always feel it because I am painfully nostalgic for things that never even really existed.  This is all quite a strange way to start an entry but it is where my mind has gone.  We grow as people and things change, we grow apart, we grow to the point where we aren’t the same person we were a few years ago.  My obsession with Kate Upton is rather well documented, she was being posted almost twice a month for a long time.  She rarely shows up anymore.  She is still pretty.  I still think she’s pretty buit interestingly a lot of the spark is gone for me.  I couldn’t tell you why.  I have simply moved on.  And that made me think of the setting sun as I stretched my legs for the few moments they would allow, it isn’t that I will never post her again.  Nor that I will never think of her.  But I am relatively confident that part of my life is behind me.  And I am the sort of person who apparently gets nostalgic for celebrity crushes.  Or maybe it’s just the black and white.  She is pretty though.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Taylor Swift has shown up here more than most people.  Like top 10 all time.  Which is odd given I don’t think of myself as a particularly big Taylor Swift fan.  Like, other people are much, much bigger Taylor Swift fans.  Which either means Taylor Swift is such a big deal even if you aren’t a huge fan you like her more than most other people or I am lying to myself. I guess it could be a combination of things.  Either way more pictures of her on stage showed up and she looked fantastic, as she often does on stage.  There was some sparkly stuff and some shiny stuff and lord knows I’m a big dumb animal.  So here she is.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.