Tag: brunette

So the fact that Priyanka Chopra continues to show up in our magazines in America is a good thing and I keep telling myself that this is why Quantico is an ok thing even though my skin crawls when I think about it coming back.  It just was bad but bad in a way that I kinda of hate extra.   Like I keep watching and part of that is because it’s the only way I get to see Priyanka Chopra regularly but my eyes keep rolling until I finally turn it off halfway through an episode and go, “That’s not how reality works. Stop it”.  But then later I will finish that episode in part because pretty girl but more because I am almost hate watching.  I am like, “Ok, fine, let’s see what stupid bullshit you pull out of your ass here”.  And I figure that can’t be healthy.  But man I find Priyanka Chopra attractive.  So I guess I am ok with this strange torture device I put on my DVR once aweek if it means she successfully transitions to Hollywood.  Anyway, she’s here today because there were new pictures of her from Flare magazine. I liked them.  Today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.

Here is Emily DiDonato because… she’s really pretty and so I wanted to post her.  It’s that simple.  I mean, she did some pictures for POP Magazine but those didn’t make the cut so I am not sure that actually is the reason.  I mean, I like her eyes.  I like the clothes she models quite often.  I don’t have great reasons.  It’s summer, I’m busy, and this was my whim today.  Today I want to fuck Emily DiDonato.

Here’s Doutzen Kroes, who of all the people I have seen anonymous assholes online declare too old, is my favorite.  Yes, she is my favorite old woman. Which is me again harping that point but man, if you want to see women just savage other womens bodies, faces, and lif choices, go somewhere on the internet where they are discussing models.  It’s pretty disgusting the number of people who have one model they like and the only way they know how to show their appreciation is to say the meanest things possible about all other women on the planet.  Now, part of this is likely related to models and people whoa re obsessed with them, it’s very image conscious but I have come to realize it’s something deeper, it’s this flawed belief that life is a zero sum game.  You know people who think this way, who when something good happens to someone else they are just filled with unhappiness.  The idea of someone getting something they don’t have just throws them into a rage because they cannot comprehend a world where they aren’t just constantly clamoring for their own personal attention and gain and anything good that happens to someone else is a slight against them.  I mean, holy fuck am I glad no one told me I was special as a child because I never think that stuff is about me.  I never think anything is about me.  It seems like an unhappy way to live and it is depressing to see because the real truth is you can like one girl and like… that’s it.  It shouldn’t effect anything else you feel about any other girl.  There is no hidden competition.  There are no points and no prize at the end if you say the meanest thing about the girls you see as some sort of competition.  Also, for the record, Doutzen Kroes is stunningly beautiful.  That’s all.  Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.

Here is the beautiful and talented Mary Elizabeth Winstead.  I am, as you likely know if you’re a follower, a big fan.  She was at a premier for the Hollars last night but more importantly she has been on my TV every week this Summer. That has been pretty nice.  You guys can still catch up on BrainDead because it’s a really entertaining show, though, is not going to be on for much longer.  It does feel like CBS is going to let it air all it’s episodes, which is nice and I guess in the end it’s a concept that might be better served by a single season anyway. It’s pretty great though, I am sad it just hasn’t clicked at all.  But then, I keep forgetting to watch it until days after it airs anyway, so who am I to talk?  It is good though and I love MEW, she is just beautiful and charming and I quite enjoy her acting.  So today I want to fuck Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

One of my majors in college was history and as such I know slightly more about history than a lot of people.  And as a result one of my great pet peeves is the idea of “revisionist” history because it shows a complete lack of understanding as to what history is as a discipline and as a thing that exists.  It has the idea of a static, congealed set of stone cold facts where things like perspective and misinformation and a million other things don’t come into play.  So I roll my eyes and shake my head when I hear someone bitch about it, about revising history as new information becomes available.  Obviously, you need to look at the new information, judge it’s quality, and fold it in to what you know.  But then, part of the problem is historians view the information as neither good nor bad morally, it’s information (at least the good ones do).  But most people view history as propaganda to prove their side right.  Which is the real reason they rail against revisionist history and why I discount almost anyone’s opinion on history when they start with that.  Anyway, I bring this up because Victoria looks like some bullshit revisionist history to me.  Jenna Coleman has been around promoting it and it is so detached from reality I don’t know what to say.  Like, I have never in my entire life wanted to sleep with Queen Victoria but now ITV is like, hey, look, you really want to sleep with Queen Victoria.  Bullshit revisionist history, suddenly you make Queen Victoria gorgeous?  Not cool.  It’s just a subversion of history.  Today I want to fuck Jenna Coleman.

I am watching the bronze medal match for field hockey and as a reminder I will point out later today that Ellen Hoog and the Netherlands will be playing for the goal so all those people who have been interested in who she is (and again, I do name her in the post, so I am confused as to why you are confused) can see her at 4 PM today.  The Bronze match is always a little melancholy for me because someone is going home empty handed despite a whole lot of work.  I am sure it will be heartbreaking and heartbreak sucks.  You put all your heart and soul into something and it doesn’t work out and it’s all you can do to keep it together sometimes.  Which brings me to the real point of today’s post and the point of the Olympics.  My friend @wildflagsure is going through some heartbreak and the real truth is there is nothing any of us can do to make that better.  We can’t just turn it off or make things ok because that’s not how the world works.  But we can all help a little by sending her a message and trying our best to brighten her day.  It’s part of the Olympic spirit because she’s Greek, so you’ll be fostering relations with another nation.  I mean, chances are you aren’t Greek.  Not like, real Greek, like her.  Like, I mean real Greek, like all real Greek women she has been seduced by Zeus disguised as something else at some point, she only eats gyros, and has to walk around on egg shells because you pick the wrong god damned flower and some total dick of a nymph will turn you into a tree.  Anyway, you should reach out and just tell her you hope she has a good day or… anything really.  It sucks to be heartbroken.  And so I am posting Ellen Hoog today because she is playing but also the part I like best about the Olympics is that it can make me feel pretty good.  I’d like my friend to feel good.  Also, she did agree that Ellen Hoog is hot, which makes sense because Greek people have eyes like the rest of us.  Oh my god, the Olympics are working, I’m realizing we’re all not so different.  We all have eyes and are attracted to Ellen Hoog.  Amazing.  Today I want to fuck Ellen Hoog.

I have been trying to post like all day but Tumblr decided to be a real butthead today.  Every picture I tried to upload was an upload error which really puts kink in my plans to make a picture post.  I won though.  Eventually.  Through a lot of pain in my ass effort.  Anyway, here is the Charli XCX post that I knew was coming at some point because I knew she did a shoot for fader and I am pretty predictable with Charli XCX.  I see her, I am attracted to her, I post her.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  So here I am posting her because I am very attracted to her and today I want to fuck Charli XCX.

Look, no Olympics.  Some of you will be thrilled.  Here is Ariel Winter because last night there was a Young Hollywood thing and like… I dunno, it’s such a vague definition, I see it attached to all these events but young seems to be “teenager” at some and “under 50” at others.  I am not calling fro some regulation on use of the word, I am just saying it becomes meaningless when over applied.  Whatever the definition, I feel like Ariel Winter still fits it and I think she looked fantastic last night.  I like pinstripes.  I dunno why, it just seems to be a good look in general.  There’s a reason why so many mens suits have them I guess.  Of course, now I am just confusing myself, I don’t think I like her outfit because it’s conservative but maybe I do?  Maybe it’s tricking me.  Oh god, is it the mullet of outfits?  The reverse mullet I guess, business on the arms, party up front?  Boy, a mullet and boobs joke, this has just gone completely off the rails.  I am sorry guys.  Today I want to fuck Ariel Winter.

I am streaming field hockey on my phone next to my computer as I work here and as I was typing this yesterday’s pick just was part of a pretty cool scoring play.  New Zealand is handling Australia pretty well.  This is going to be about Ellen Hoog though, as a public service.  Which, ok, obviously this blog is almost always a public service.  You’re welcome.  But I posted her a few days ago and it got a pretty good reaction, including a lot of “Oh my god” and “Who is she?” sort of things sent my way.  Which… um, that second question, I get that sometimes and I really want to point out all those words that follow the pictures? That usually answers that.  At least a little bit.  But I get it, she’s gorgeous.  Like model gorgeous.  It’s why pictures of her are easy because she’s pretty and pretty enough that just being pretty would probably be enough for her to show up in pictures if she wanted but she’s also a two time gold medalist and an elite athlete.  So the public service part is this: you can see her play today.  Sure there is only a quarter left in the game I am watching right now but Ellen Hoog? Her match is at 7:30 ET tonight.  You have lots of time to prepare for that, and since The Dutch seem to be the best at this, you can watch the best do it.  And after some discussion yesterday it was concluded their Orange uniforms are the prettiest uniforms.  They do really pop on the blue turf.  So you know, give it a shot.  Because it’s fun and she’s gorgeous.  Today I want to fuck Ellen Hoog.

When I was a kid one day at the pool we were having a diving competition. Which was really a misnomer because the point was to make the biggest splash, which from what I can tell watching the Olympics is the opposite of the point of a diving competition.  Anyway, I had no hope of winning because I was really undersized when I was younger and was usually about a year younger than my peers.  But I did proclaim I knew the ultimate dive to make a big splash called the Bald Eagle.  I confided this in a kid who was easily the biggest dick at the pool.  I know you’re really not to declare kids to be dicks but let’s be honest, some are, and this kid was just a little asshole.  So I knew he’d steal my dive when I describe it.  The Bald Eagle involved getting your arms under your knees to make “wings” and landing crotch first in the water with your legs spread wide thanks to your arms.  The result was not much of a splash but the water delivering a nice solid kick to the nuts.  I knew he’d steal it and he did and man was he in pain.  I learned very early in life that you can get more done with a wink and a smile than you can with anything else, just be a little bit charming and you’ll be able to get the biggest dick at the pool to hit himself in the nuts.  I am telling you this story to illustrate the depth of my knowledge about diving. That’s it, I know how to make children hurt themselves, that is as far as it goes really.  Also, my realization that we are often influenced by factors that are less that objective, no matter what we think, charm and other suck things play a bigger factor in decisions than we think.  So what I am saying is I would be a terrible diving judge.  I watch it and every time it’s like, “Oh fuck, that girl jumps and spun and went in the water, that was amazing”.  They would all get 10’s. And Kassidy Cook would benefit the most from this because she is adorable and beautiful and so like, if the whole thing is someone is supposed to look good in the water?  Well, she looks good doing everything, instant 10.  Are 10’s the highest score in diving?  I honestly don’t know.  I watch but I know next to nothing.  Anyway, my real point here is that today I want to fuck Kassidy Cook.