I wrote this post and thought I posted it yesterday but it turned out I didn’t hit post.  Whoops.  Here it is a day late.

Celebrities birthdays are weird.  I am not sure how I’d feel about it if I were one.  I mean, I guess it would be nice to have so many people sort of fighting over the chance to celebrate your birthday?  The real secret is as an adult your birthday doesn’t matter very much and no one is going to make a big deal out of it unless you do first.  Like, the only people who get the giant parties are the people who plan it themselves or drop hints for 2 months leading up, which to me always seems like it maybe takes a little something away from the experience.  Like hey, you guys made a big deal about me after I demanded you do so.  Thank you!  So I guess it’s nice that celebrities don’t have that but I am not sure I would want a branded birthday party.  Like the name of a night club on my cake and an entry way with some other company’s logo.  I also assume tons of strangers I don’t know at my party.  I really can’t imagine my ideal birthday being with a bunch of I don’t know and I don’t care about.  On the other hand, that’s a nice looking cake.  Emily Ratajkowski had a birthday party this weekend, though her birthday appears to be more than a week away.  That does feel normal, as an adult your birthday has to focus around free weekend, not actual dates.  It just had me thinking about all of that and also she looked pretty.  I don’t need a big push to want to post her so here she is because today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Here is Emily Ratajkowski cause look at her.  I really write too much considering I post pictures.  I mean, those pictures are worth a thousand words so I am writing my own 200-300 words each day and you end up with like, 5,200 words most day?  That math checks out I think.  And it seems silly cause the pictures do a pretty good job of explaining why I am posting whomever I post.  Like right here.  Emily Ratajkowski shows up in a few magazines recently, I post the pictures from those magazines, and bam, there we go.  I should just post the pictures, I wouldn’t even work myself into a rage when I go down the path complaining about the comments online I saw with the pictures about how a lot of guys are really angry she has been, ahem, let me look this up, “Spouting off about that feminism garbage”.  So I’ll just post the pictures.  Because she’s hot and I will ignore the assholes.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Emily Ratajkowski was in DC this weekend for various things revolving around the arts and the government and it lead to a bunch of pictures, which is nice.  I am prepared to declare her officially hot.  Also, it just makes my life easy to go, oh look, a bunch of pictures, my hometown, she’s hot, done.  It was a pretty late Saturday night so taking the easy route is nice.  Declaring Emily Ratajkowski hot is pretty easy.  Job done.  Get some rest everybody.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Now, I hope most people don’t come here for new.  At least, I hope you don’t.  If you do you are dangerously ill informed.  I say dangerously because if you are the sort of person who comes to whoiwanttofucktoday.com looking for news your decision making is so questionable you could possibly drown yourself trying to get a drink of water.  But I’m not here to insult hypothetical idiots.  No, I’m here to insult your intelligence with my breaking news I do have.  Using my highly refined observational skills I have determined that Emily Ratajkowski’s body is “legit insane”.  "Legit insane" is of course a scientific term meaning, “oh my god, look at her”!  If you haven’t noticed this it’s ok, I am a professional except for the part where anyone would pay me for my opinions on this blog.  Other than that I am a professional and using the skills I have honed in my now 4 years and 23 days of doing this, I have figured out that Emily Ratajkowski has a body that is, once again, “Legit insane”.  Science, people.  You can trust me on this, I know I’m right because I said it and I’m not a liar, so it has to be true.  That’s basic math.  Or logic.  Whatever, trust me, one of them is right.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

New Emily Ratajokowski pictures means Emily Ratajkowski is getting posted.  It started with her posting it on instagram or something and then from there more picture have gotten out of a shoot she did for Jacquie Aiche.  I had no idea what Jacquie Aiche was and was like, “What type of clothes do they sell because she isn’t wearing clothing”.  It turns out it’s Jewlery.  Which I guess Emily was wearing.  I mainly noticed boobs but I was certain they weren’t selling boobs.  I could mock this as a bad campaign except it made me google it.  So well done, behold the power of a nearly nude Emily Ratajkowski.  I am thankful.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!  I hope you have a good one whatever your situation is.  Here is Emily Ratajkowski and I don’t have some magical Valentine’s Day connection to make with her, I am just posting her because it has felt like she has wanted to be posted all week.  She’s at Fashion Week and has looked fantastic and every day I have almost posted her.  Even yesterday I woke up to a picture of her sent to me from @femalecelebrityoftheday.  So it really feels like I am supposed to post her.  So I am posting her.  It honestly shouldn’t have taken so much arm twisting because good lord she is hot.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

I woke up thinking about Emily Ratajkowski this morning.  I think I had some sort of dream about her but I only have snippets.  It had something to do with her being in a movie.  Which is not really particularly out there dream.  Anyway, I was thinking about her when I woke up and am still thinking about her so here she is.  I happen to find her quite attractive and should have more to say than that but I don’t, my sleep is a mess and I am getting ready to travel for the holiday which is gross.  So I will leave it there. Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Emily Ratajkowski was at a thing the other day.  I can’t remember what it was because it was for some store opening or something and the truth is I just don’t care enough to remember that sort of thing.  She looked very good though.  Her top was shiny so I guess that helps/will get me mocked by people who enjoy that obsession of mine.  It was just nice to see her because she’s very pretty and… I think I like pretty girls.  I think it might be a thing I’m into.  Oh well, blog over, I figured it out.  It’s been fun guys.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.