Tag: Model

I watched the Nice Guys last night and I kinda dug it.  I maybe didn’t like it as much as some of my friends.  Not that I really found anything wrong about it but maybe it was heightened expectations, people talked about it like it was some lost classic when really it was just pretty good and pretty good in a way most buddy cop movies aren’t anymore.  Which makes sense, Shane Black wrote and directed it and if you don’t know, he basically invented all the buddy cop movie cliches because he wrote Lethal Weapon.  There were lots of things that felt like a blast from the past in this, Russell Crowe and Kim Bassinger together, the old style buddy cop action, that 1970’s, but the one that tickled my brain and I couldn’t figure out was Margaret Qualley.  She looked so familiar and I couldn’t place her.  I went and looked up her filmography and I have seen exactly nothing else shes’ been in.  She was really pretty but something was wrong.  Finally, like the third time looking at her IMDB I finally see at the top, “Daughter of Andie MacDowell”.  And then it clicked.  They don’t look alike but there is something there that made my brain make a connection.  Andie MacDowell was very pretty too.  Anyway, I liked the Nice Guys, I thought Margaret Qualley was pretty so here she is, today I want to fuck Margaret Qualley.

Here is Anastasia Scheglova, international woman of mystery.  It’s amazing, so little is still known about her on the internet except it’s not that amazing because she very clearly works for the KGB.  Like… ok, so security experts say it was very likely the Russians who leaked the DNC emails and you know today, suddenly a ton of pictures of Anastasia Scheglova started showing up on the places I go to collect pictures.  I’d say the people that found a treasure trove of pictures were doing the Lord’s work but let’s be honest, that’s not true.  They’re godless communists.  So I’m torn.  I mean, obviously I am not a communist, it doesn’t work and I won’t fall for their pink lies.  But on the other hand: boobs. Now, I know someone will say something about the fall of communism, yadda yadda yadda, she wasn’t even alive then.  Well, isn’t that just what makes it so clever on their part?  I’m not falling for it.  Mostly.  I mean, what I am saying is I am on to them.  I am on to her.  On the other hand though, today I want to fuck Anastasia Scheglova.

Here is Doutzen Kroes because… I don’t know really.  She keeps popping into my head.  She has for a couple of days.  I can’t really point to a specific reason why though.  She just has.  I am not going to argue though, I happen to like her.  That’s really all there is to say about it.  Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.

So I was just minding my own business this morning when someone sent me a picture of Emily Ratajkowski naked from Harper’s Bazaar.  Which I am ok with. My phrasing might have made it sound otherwise.  It was at that point I was pretty sure I’d end up posting her today because well, Emily Ratajkowski is hot. And one of the few people on the planet who actually looks better naked than with clothing.  Which is really high praise for her because her fashion is so often on point.  She just has great fashion taste.  Yet looks better naked.  It’s an embarrassment of riches thing, like maybe give that fashion sense to someone who needs it.  Anyway, here she is, including one of the said shots from that shoot because today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

Here is Candice Swanepoel because why not some Candice Swanepoel.  I can’t think of any reason not to.  She is very pretty and looks very pretty here and you know, day after a long weekend I feel less rested than I do after a regular weekend.  It’s all the pressure of having to capitalize on the long weekend.  You get that sad look from people when they ask what you did and your answer is, “Nothing, watched terrible movies and cried myself to sleep because I had nothing to do”.  There’s this silent judgment like you must be unhappy with that because it isn’t the way so many people want to spend their time off.  Like, suddenly they put on the kid gloves because they feel you must be horribly sad about all of that.  So I went outside and to the lake and all sorts of stuff so I didn’t have to deal with any of that.  But I am a little worn out as a result.  So here is Candice Swanepoel because it takes like zero effort to find her attractive and like zero effort to find good pictures of her.  She’s the gift that keeps giving when it comes to pictures.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.  We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  So suck it, King George!  I am putting up Alexis Ren today because America guys.  America.  I almost wanted to do Nicki Minaj again because it was hilarious to watch racists who didn’t realize they were racist try to explain why she wasn’t a real American that one time without using the phrase “because she’s black”.  But Alexis called to me.  Because of Freedom and Liberty guys. Enjoy your 4th and enjoy these pictures, every shot of a beautiful woman is a blow against the Tyranny of a corrupt, old system of nobility.  Anyway, I have a busy day, I have to go throw all the team in my house into the bathtub before throwing up a middle finger as hard as I can in the direction of Windsor Castle. So, for America, today I want to fuck Alexis Ren.

Because I am overwhelmingly lazy, I always appreciate when someone makes my job nice and easy.  Like Gigi Hadid did last night at the MuchMusic Awards. I mean, I didn’t watch said awards.  I have better thing to do than sitting around watching that like some sort of Canadian.  But I did see pictures and it was like, oh, she looks good there.  And there.  And there.  And so, it makes life really easy if I don’t actually have to think much about who to post and extra easy when a girl wears 5 different things at an event so I don’t even have to go digging for pictures.  She looked adorable at times, sexy at others, which is kind of her thing.  So here she is because today I want to fuck Gigi Hadid.

I don’t have a lot of time and today has already stretched later than I want it to.  I have to go so I was like, today’s entry will have to be quick.  Somehow that had me settle on Rosie Jones because I am an idiot.  Hey, why don’t you try to find pictures of Rosie Jones where she isn’t completely naked.  Have fun asshole!  It was like I said, “Hey, I’m in a big hurry so I am just going to find and trap a unicorn first, then I can get out of here quickly”.  Anyway, here are unicorn pictures of Rosie Jones, in that she manages to overcome her dreadful shirt related allergy.  Mostly.  Some there are just hands.  Anyway, she is hot, I like British Girls as we all know, so today I want to fuck Rosie Jones.

This post really stems from the face that I am mildly obsessed with the picture of Doutzen Kroes kissing Candice Swanepoel’s stomach.  Not in a sexual way.  I guess I need to make that clear cause well… I mean, I know what I named this blog, I brought it on myself.  But in an oh man that’s adorable way and I loved seeing all the pictures of them hanging out together and references to Aunty Doutzen and so on.  It was adorable.  And you know, they are my two favorite Victoria’s Secret models of all time and ti was just very cute and I was like, what if i posted them together?  It turns out I am ok with the idea and while it was work, I was willing to go through my pictures of both of them to post some.  I did that for you guys.  All that hard work of looking at countless pictures trying to find the right ones.  You don’t have to say thank you, it’s just who I am.  I’m a giver.  Anyway, I am still obsessed with that picture and I adore them both so today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel and Doutzen Kroes.

I wrote this post and thought I posted it yesterday but it turned out I didn’t hit post.  Whoops.  Here it is a day late.

Celebrities birthdays are weird.  I am not sure how I’d feel about it if I were one.  I mean, I guess it would be nice to have so many people sort of fighting over the chance to celebrate your birthday?  The real secret is as an adult your birthday doesn’t matter very much and no one is going to make a big deal out of it unless you do first.  Like, the only people who get the giant parties are the people who plan it themselves or drop hints for 2 months leading up, which to me always seems like it maybe takes a little something away from the experience.  Like hey, you guys made a big deal about me after I demanded you do so.  Thank you!  So I guess it’s nice that celebrities don’t have that but I am not sure I would want a branded birthday party.  Like the name of a night club on my cake and an entry way with some other company’s logo.  I also assume tons of strangers I don’t know at my party.  I really can’t imagine my ideal birthday being with a bunch of I don’t know and I don’t care about.  On the other hand, that’s a nice looking cake.  Emily Ratajkowski had a birthday party this weekend, though her birthday appears to be more than a week away.  That does feel normal, as an adult your birthday has to focus around free weekend, not actual dates.  It just had me thinking about all of that and also she looked pretty.  I don’t need a big push to want to post her so here she is because today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.