Tag: Model

Human beings are unique among mammals in that we have big breasts.  Well, half of us do, even the smallest human female breast is pretty damn big compared to every other creature’s.  There have been theories as to why but one that is given a lot of credence now has to do with our face.  Humans are born with abnormally large heads, like 5 times bigger than our heads should be when compared with other primates.  This is because we are born with giant brains.  For our giant heads to pass through bipedal hips we need flat faces.  Almost all other primates have a muzzle or snout that allows their mouth to stick out from their head.  We do not.  Other primate nipples are attached firmly against the ribs but if a human baby had to deal with this it would block the nose and prevent breathing.  Now nose placement is pretty much hardwired in mammals, it’s above the mouth and between the eyes.  That would be hard to change but breast size, evolution can work with that.  Thus babies can feed and breathe.  Thus they can have flat faces.  Thus we can have giant brains.  What I am saying is the reason I have the cognitive capacity to write this every day is because of boobs.  The reason this website exists is because of boobs.  We have the internet because of boobs.  And electricity… well that natural but our ability to harness it?  Boobs.  We can thank boobs for human civilization.  Thank you boobs.  So really, when it comes down to it boobs are why I can post Kelly Brook today.  Coincidentally, boobs are a large part of why I am posting Kelly Brook today.  Boobs guys.  They’re amazing.  If you have them, stop and realize you’re the reason humanity has cool shit.  If you don’t have them, be nice to people who do because without them you’d be a dumbass who couldn’t read this.  Because boobs rule.  And they’re why today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

Jayne Mansfield had a quote I liked a lot once upon a time, “A 41-inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee – a lot more."  I bring that up because we have a fascination with boobs.  As a species I mean.  Men and women’s eyes are drawn to boobs.  Pupils dilate, when studies are done eyes linger on the breasts more when evaluating beauty than any other single part of the body, though we’d all like to think we’re more evolved than that.  Now, that doesn’t mean everyone likes the same boobs. I am not in the camp that just bigger is better, though in some cases bigger is… something clever that illiterates and means are pretty already.  I bring all of this up because Kate Upton is my pick today and people think of her boobs when they think of her.  At least from the unofficial research I have done.  My basic, rambling point is that it’s my birthday, so it’s my day to indulge myself, that includes indulging the fact that I really like boobs.  I like Kate Upton for lots of reasons but I really like her boobs.  And people might be bored of me picking Kate Upton.  Well, today you have to indulge me or people will think you’re an ass.  I think.  I’m a little tipsy.  My basic point is I am great and boobs are great and Kate Upton is great and today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Poor Emily Ratajkowski, I think she may be cursed to forever be known as “that girl from the blurred lines video”.  Sure things could be worse, she could be, “that girl who washed out of modeling that no one has ever heard of and now is homeless” but things could always be worse.  I’ve always considered it discourteous to diminish someone’s problems by telling them their imaginary problems would be worse.  Not that it’s really a problem in this case but there has been a bit of a backlash against the song and video.  A deserved backlash to a degree at least.  I don’t like it so people can trash the song all they want.  But a model is paid to do a job, this isn’t a banality of evil situation, it’s just a girl dancing.  Anyway, I was thinking about that because every time new pictures of her come out they get better and better.  Which is why all these pictures are old?  I don’t make sense all the time.  The point is I like her, I don’t have anything deep to say about her, I just think she has a fantastic body and find her extremely attractive.  So today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

I had a dream about Kate Upton.  And not the dream you might assume based on my blog name and me saying I had a dream about her.  She was at a party my parents were having in their backyard.  And we hung out the whole time and watched a cricket match.  I think.  I don’t know how cricket actually works so my brain may have made up a lot of bullshit.  Also we watched someone’s baby for them and played with a dog.  And we changed the baby;’s diaper.  My basic point is there is something very wrong with me if these are the dreams I am having.  But it’s the dream I had.  And now I am crushing on my imaginary Kate Upton.  And that means I am thinking about the real thing, too.  And that means that today I want to fuck Kate Upton

So Candice Swanepoel is getting to wear the Fantasy Bra and has shown up all over the internet as a result.  Then last night she showed up in a commercial fro Victoria’s Secret’s sport line of stuff.  I mean there were other models in the commercial but it was mainly her and it showed up during two different shows I watched.   It’s a well documented fact that Candice Swanepoel is obsessed with me (documented by me and by fact I mean insane delusion based on fantasy).  So she got my attention again, I couldn’t resist.  She wins this round because today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

So the other day one of my favorite followers and longest tenured followers messaged me something to the effect of, “I love Claire Sinclair.  She is amazing”.  To which I responded, “I don’t know who that is”.  It was pointed out to me I had just reblogged pictures of her and that I am a moron.  Ok, it wasn’t pointed out like that but I do that.  There some girl who was in some nice pin up pictures and I’d reblogged them because she was pretty.  I didn’t really think further than that.  Also my reblog queue is like 5 days deep so I had forgotten.  But being alerted to amazingness I took it upon myself to research her further.  By googling.  And looking at pictures.  I don’t want to say this makes me a hero but if you want to say it I am fine with that.  My askbox is open.  Anyway, it got me on a bit of a kick for her and she is very pretty and so today I want to fuck Claire Sinclair.  

So I have mentioned many times before that I think Mosh is one of the most beautiful women in the world.  When I type it I worry people are thinking I am being hyperbolic.  I am not.  When I look at her I have a very hard time thinking of who could possibly be more beautiful.  I have talked a lot about her here because there is a lot to praise.  And it isn’t just her looks, I have mentioned how impressed I am by the work that alt models do.  But today it is just because she is gorgeous.  I was looking through stuff, saw a picture of Mosh and then slipped down a Mosh hole.  Next thing I knew it had been literally an hour of me looking at pictures of Mosh without me realizing it.  That’s when I was like, yeah, I’m probably going to post some Mosh.  So I have.  Because she is amazing.  Today I want to fuck Miss Mosh.

Kelly Brook is here and why not.  I find Kelly Brook very attractive.  I have gone on and on before about my fascination with other people’s celebrities.  I mean, some Americans know her but she is hardly a household name here.  In the UK I know it’s quite the opposite.  More interesting to me is what that does for perspective.  I know from talking to British friends she brings a bit of an eye roll because she’s that type of celebrity.  If you’re following me you know the type, we have them everywhere.  It’s almost uncool to like them because everyone finds them attractive and deep down you think their body of work doesn’t really warrant the attention.  But to an outsider… she’s exotic.  It’s like when I was a kid, whoever was a Bond girl, you’d never heard of her before, it made her immediately classier.  For all you know back in France she could star in a show that was just girls jumping up and down on bed and guys getting hit in the crotch with footballs but it didn’t matter because we just had this glimpse and there was an accent and thus she was exotic.  Which meant sophistication.  There is nothing more sophisticated than being attracted to some other countries woman.  Which I assume is why I have always been really attracted to Kelly Brook.  Also her body.  That’s a major factor as well.  But mainly it’s because I’m a sophisticant of the highest order.  This blog is classy and I love British women and so today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

What I really know about Betty Brosmer is that she’s really pretty.  I don’t know a lot more about that.  I know she claims the title of world’s first Supermodel but… she’s not the only one to make that claim.  It’s silly, she certainly counts as a supermodel which is good enough.  She seems to have done well for herself since she started Shape Magazine and is still writing for it all these years later.  She’s uh.. single these days.  And 78 so maybe I have a shot?  I don’t know, she pops up on my dash a lot these days after never doing so before a few months ago.  I don’t know why but clearly it has influenced me and today I want to fuck Betty Brosmer.

So Ophelia Overdose is back and if you aren’t following her you are missing out.  Her blog is right here. She is awesome for lots of reasons.  I have talked about it before.  Today the part I want to talk about being so awesome is the magic she can do with a needle and thread and whatever else is used to make clothing and the stuff she sticks on other parts of her body.  Notice I am not even sure what else it entails, it really truly could be magic for all I know.  I would believe it because I am the person who buys clothing and somehow they look like garbage once I get them home.  So when someone can actually make clothing and it doesn’t look like they are wearing a tablecloth?  That’s amazing.  She is amazing.  Which is why you should follow her because you get to see a lot of really cool in progress stuff.  (I may have managed to only choose pictures this time of her wearing other peoples clothing.  Look, this blog isn’t about research.  Go to her deviant art page, or her store, I promise you there is lots of stuff she made).  Or you can follow her instagram for the same effect.  But you can see stuff coming together and then when you see it appear in one of her beautiful photos 3 months later you can give the knowing nod of a true hipster and say, “Yeah, I saw that first”.  I am not saying it will make you cool but I am saying it won’t hurt.  Anyway, she is pretty awesome and like a lot of alt models I am so blown away by the depth and breadth of her talents. Also she is gorgeous, I don’t want to forget to mention that because I’d be lying if I said that didn’t play a part in her appearance here.  So there you go, today I want to fuck Ophelia Overdose.