Tag: musician

If you know me, or just have been following me for a while, you will know I have a complicated relationship with Taylor Swift.  Maybe relationship is the wrong word, I don’t want to start rumors, anyone else and that would be just a word but with her it could start rumors we have dated.  Which is kind of part of the complication.  Most people who know me would know I would say I am not particularly attracted to Taylor Swift, that I find her annoying.  This was very true once upon a time.  This is also the 10th time I have posted her so it kind of bellies the idea that I find her unattractive.  But the narrative that most of the internet latches onto of her life is what annoyed me about her for years.  I found her music especially grating, a thing I couldn’t put my finger on (I tried, too.  I have gone into detail).  Something about her private life was bothersome.  But… I don’t know anymore, maybe I turned a corner eventually because at some point I started to feel bad that everyone was piling onto her.  Like once the idea coalesced that she was a serial dater slut shaming “nice girl” I started to see cracks in all of that.  There are valid criticisms of her work and I suppose her but it strikes me as unfair to judge young women who grow up in the media spotlight.  We all made a lot of dipshit mistakes at 19.  I wore some stupid clothes trying to find some sort of identity.  There were people who slept around a lot.  There were people who didn’t sleep with anyone.  There were people who became communists for a month and Buddhists the next when I was in college. It is part of growing up.  So if Miley Cyrus seems to perpetually feel the need to show off that she gets bikini waxes that’s fine, she’s young.  Taylor Swift spent quite a few years manufacturing romances, dating people for very little time, acting like her minor relationships weer epic romances, and then scorching the Earth afterwards with bitter songs… well,it isn’t any worse than when my friend Nate started smoking a pipe so he could have a “thing”, it’s just more public.  More importantly, she hasn’t done that in a while.  Maybe she will again, maybe she is that sad bitter person who doesn’t get how poorly it reflects on someone to always trash their exes.  Or maybe she is different now.  I don’t know but this is the place I am at, where I feel bad when I still see posts criticizing Taylor Swift’s love life popping up.  They can be funny but they are snarky and lazy.  None of that is why she’s here, that’s just me rambling because I can’t sleep. She’s just here because I still am not that attracted to her most of the time.  Except sometimes I am.  I still don’t know what flips that switch but it has been flipped right now and so today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

Sometimes it is hard for my mind to wrap around the idea that the Taylor Momsen of today was once the cute little Jenny Humphrey.  It makes sense of course, no one is the same person at 20 that they were at 15 (I hope!  Nothing sadder than someone stuck in adultlescence).  But it still just feels very different.  I have mentioned before I do feel kind of bad for her.  I mean she seems to like what she does now, which is good, but I have sensed dissatisfaction with how she grew up.  I get that, too, child stardom seems like a strange thing to force upon a kid.  I mean… I don’t know, I have no soapbox for this but even when it doesn’t end badly giving a child a career feels like it could rob them of some of the essential parts of being a kid. Or not.  I don’t know, I am rambling, I think she is pretty though she doesn’t pop up on my radar very often, I know I have followers who are way, way more into her than I am.  That always makes me feel like a poser.  It’s ok, when I was a kid there wasn’t even anything called soft grunge, there was just grunge which was a bullshit marketing term adults came up with to sell us flannel once Nirvana broke.  What I am saying is i get rebellion and anger but it will be co-opted and sold back to you one day.  And that has nothing to do with the fact that today I want to fuck Taylor Momsen.

So, you know, the Golden Globes were last night.  I would usually declare a winner.  I was so ready to post Jessica Chastain you guys.  She looks so good presenting on the telecast.  So good.  And like… then I waited a while, then here I am bright and early grabbing picture of last night and like… look, I am not going to declare Taylor Swift the winner because her Golden Globes dress was kind of whatever.  But so far she’s been the winner of the after party.  The black dress.  I don’t know why, something in my brain happened and I kind of sighed and was like, “Welp, looks like it’s time to put together a Taylor Swift post”, and I knew the battle was lost because today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

I would like to think all of us have been profoundly effected in our lives by art.  I would like to think so for everyone’s sake because art can speak to your soul and speak its language in ways we cannot.  It can show us things about ourselves, it can show us things about others, about the world around, it can reveal to us the hidden truths of the universe if we let it.  The art that drives your life may be different than mine.  That is fine.  For some it is film, for some literature, for some fine arts.  All of these have spoken to me at some point but the thing that has always had my heart, that since I was a little kid gave solace to my soul and meaning to a world that could be very dark and cold was music.  Music is what speaks to me.  Which is why Jenny Lewis is here.  Rilo Kiley essentially broke up ages ago.  It feels like forever.  I do not have a favorite band or song or album or anything like that.  It’s too hard, too much of it has mattered too much to me but one of those bands that mattered a great deal to me was Rilo Kiley.  The music indeed spoke to me.  It was beautiful.  Jenny Lewis can move me with her voice but it is her words that stick with me.  Her talent as a song writer.  I love what Jenny Lewis has given to me over the years.  Of the many things I got at Christmas was the recent B-sides release from Rilo Kiley.  Which is why Jenny is here.  Because while she is physically beautiful, her music is more so.  What music does for me is beautiful.  It is all just incredible and this is not art, so I don’t have the words to do it justice.  Just know this post is about all of that.  Today I want to fuck Jenny Lewis.

Sometimes it is easy for me to forget how young Taylor Momsen still is, probably because she’s well into her third career at this point.  Probably too many careers for someone who is basically a kid to have had.  I felt for her a few years ago when she said something about not having any friends and no childhood because of being a child model at a young age.  I mean, I don’t think a life of fame from youth is destructive to everyone but… there are people it has damaged.  I think the quality of parents has a lot to do with that.  She seems to have mostly gotten through ok, she just is angry.  I think that’s understandable, we were all angry in our early 20’s.  It’s natural.  Anyway, I for some reason have been thinking about her all week so I guess today it bubbled to the surface.  She is attractive.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Momsen.

Neko Case had a new album come out this week and i have posted her once before because she’s great.  I love her music, it feels like I always have because at this point she’s an old pro.  Anyway, I enjoy the album because there are few things her voice doesn’t make better.  I don’t have too much more to say her other than today I want to fuck Neko Case.

Once upon a time, many many moons ago, I saw a band whose name I can’t remember open for the Hold Steady.  Their bassist was so hot.  Which should tell you it’s a woman because it’s a rule that male bassists get no play, female bassists are drop dead gorgeous.  It’s a universe equalizing thing.  Female Rhythm sections are hot, male bassist get no play (Drummers do get play.  It’s a Darwinian thing, if they couldn’t get a girlfriend they’d have no where to live) (If you’re a bassist don’t send me angry asks, I am sure you have an example or something, like say Paul McCartney.  That’s different, Beatle trumps Bassist.  Believe me I will make up an excuse for your example).  So I am watching this band and I mention to my friend who is as gay as the night is black or whatever else you want to use as an example to point out he wasn’t into the ladies, “That bassist is fucking hot”.  He immediately said, “I’d fuck her”.  I gave him a look and he said, “Musicians are hot”.  He shrugged.  I shrugged.  He was right.  Musicians are hot.  So this is a long way of talking about Scarlett Stevens who it turns out is so hot.  She is the drummer for San Cisco, who were introduced to me by my dear friend Izzy who is also a female drummer and as gay as the night is black, so you know, ladies… you should send her an ask, science says she’s got to be hot.  Anyway, the song Awkward is pretty addictive and great and she has a pleasant voice and is cute as a button and I love music and when I love music I can’t help but transfer some of that to the people creating it.  When one of them is also hot… look, you must get it, it must have happened to you.  Anyway, the end result is today I want to fuck Scarlett Stevens.

Here is Aly Michalka again because she’s very pretty.  I guess that’s the only reason.  I don’t always have really deep or meaningful reasons for posting here.  I guess I am just in the mood for Aly?  Ok, yeah, we’ll go with that.  Today I want to fuck Aly Michalka.

Every time I post Taylor Swift I feel like I should apologize.  Not because any of you mind that I post her but because I have gone on record so many times, here and in real life, that I don’t find Taylor Swift attractive and I don’t get the appeal.  I stand by this.  Most of the time.  I really mean it every time I say it.  Except… obviously I find her attractive, this is her 6th time showing up here, I know, I’ve checked.  Other than a handful of people in double digits it makes her one of my more frequent picks.  So I feel like I have to owe someone an apology?  Her maybe?  I can’t see that going well, I go and tell her that I’m sorry I always say she’s not attractive because some days I find myself really wanting to sleep with her.  I can’t help it, it’s just an urge.  Best case scenario I get a restraining order.  Worst case she buys a house next to me and starts planning our wedding (ok, cheap shot but I couldn’t resist).  Either way I am sure it would end in a scathing song about me at some point.  Like, it would be called Who I Want to Pity Today or something.  I don’t know but I’d look like an asshole!  So, what I am saying is I am sorry Taylor, please don’t write a song about me.  If you’re ok with not having a pre nup I would consider the marriage thing.  I can say though, all else aside in the right now I really mean it when I say today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

So Taylor Swift is here again and I don’t know why other than because?  I mean she was on New Girl last night for a blip, so maybe that’s why?  She was just on my mind this morning when I woke up.  Which always stuns me because I am not really into Taylor Swift.  Except clearly I’m some sort of liar because here she is.  Again.  I don’t know what to make of that other than maybe I don’t know myself that well.  I have no clue about any of it really, I just know that today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.