Tag: pigeonfoo

Here is Pigeon Foo cause it’s been ages since I posted Pigeon Foo. Which is a shame. Because she’s kind of awesome and always has been. Ok, that might be a bit over the top, I can’t speak to always because it would get us into a whole discussion on the nature of time and the human soul and when someone starts to exist and so on and well… sure, that’s what her blog is all about but not mine. I’ll leave the metaphysics to her. Usually I go on and on about her but usually I have more than like an hours sleep so this is it today. She is pretty, I am posting pictures of her that I feel prove this. Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

Here is Pigeon Foo cause I guess it’s that kind of day.  If you don’t know where to find her you can finder her here @pigeonfoo and like 300 other places but that’ll get you started.  Enjoy a trip down the rabbit hole I guess if she is new to you but I feel like most people reading this must know her at this point because I have posted her a bunch, she will likely reblog this so most of you will be reading it on her blog, and at the very least you have heard about the time she lassoed a twister and used it to vacuum up the trash after an epic party.  Or the time she fought a bear.  They made am movie about that one staring Leonardo DiCaprio.  A lot of the movies you’ve seen are of course based off of Foo’s life: Star Wars, Bonnie and Clyde, Conan the Destroyer, et al.  Which characters were based on her?  All of them of course.  She’s pretty humble about it though so I’ll excuse you for not knowing.  On top of all her adventures fighting Ninja Pirates and stuff, she also models.  And she’s pretty damn good at it.  So, here are pictures of her.  If you didn’t know there is probably one or two naked pictures of her on the internet as well.  You might have to look a while but you’ll find them.  Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

So recently someone identified a pattern to my posts as going: talks about hot girl, digresses about some issue of philosophy and metaphysics, mentions girl is hot again, done.  Now, I would like to point out this is most likely a phenomena called Apophenia but I won’t.  Because this is a Pigeon Foo post and I would point out I never go off on digressions with her, instead I give you rock solid, 100% accurate Foo Facts.  So here is Pigeon Foo and here is Foo Fact #1.  She can slam dunk a basketball from a standstill.  She won’t but she can.  So don’t bother to ask her to do it or anything, she won’t.  She thinks it’s showy and that isn’t who she is.  Foo Fact #2.  She could beat your dad in a fight.  I am sorry, I know this will be upsetting to some but it’s just the truth, you’ll have to just accept it.  I mean, don’t worry, she probably won’t, she just can.  She’s not some Rabid Dad Beater just going from town to town beating up people’s dads.  She could be, but she’s not.  Foo Fact #3.  She’s still not over Silent Hills. Foo Fact #4. She keeps Halloween in her heart all year round.  Foo Fact #5.  She would kill you and everyone you hold dear to become a Sailor Scout.  So there you go, irrefutable Foo Facts and proof that I am not at all falling into some sort of pattern.  Anyway, if you’d like to learn more about Pigeon Foo please visit your local library or follow her @pigeonfoo.  Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

Here is my long time tumblr buddy @pigeonfoo who hasn’t shown up here in a long time for reasons I can only describe as, “me being a fucking idiot”.  Really it’s inexcusable because she is undeniably awesome and an American hero.  As someone who has followed her since we both were tiny blogs with just a couple hundred followers I know a surprising number of FooFacts.  Like not everyone knows this but um… shit, I used to be better at uh… remembering these important facts.  One time she lassoed a twister and took it for a ride  Because she could. Or to save like… a hospital full of children and nuns.  Actually, that sounds like a reason she would legitimately do that.  I know everyone knows one time she fought a bear and that’s impressive and all but did you know she one time beat a bear riding yakuza?  Not in a fight but at poker.  While scoring the winning basket in a charity basketball game to save an orphanage that again, I assume was full of nuns.  But besides all the times she’s done things like punch Hitler she is just kind of a remarkable person.  She is funny and smart and as an independent model working hard to make a living and see the business ventures she is a part of thrive she is an incredibly hard worker and that’s praise worthy.  Also, she’s pretty.  Just if I forgot to mention that.  Did I forget to?  Sometimes you get so caught up in the secret underground martial arts tournaments she has fought in you just forget to mention the obvious.  Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

Pigeon Foo and I  have been following each other for nearly 3 years.  I know roughly how long because she started following me because I posted Sara Fabel.  Lucky moment for me and she is a generally private person so I hope I am not stepping over the line when I am sharing these important FooFacts that I have gathered from the years of following her and sending asks.  I think they are important because they illustrate why she is so great.  Pigeon Foo once wrestled a bear with her bare hands.  She did this simply so she could cleverly use the words bear and bare in the same sentence. She traveled to Asia for a secret underground martial arts tournament just to kill her former sensei in a duel.  She never said why.  She can lift a small car directly over her head.  Nothing too big but like a Volkswagen Bug or a Smartcar?  Right up over her head.  These are all true facts and absolutely not something I just made up on the spot because I am in a rush and couldn’t think of anything else to say.  If you don’t believe me you can ask her yourself.  Right here pigeonfoo.  She will absolutely confirm it.  Or she’ll do this thing where she acts all aloof like she doesn’t know what you’re talking about or like you’re crazy for believing me.  That;’s so her.  That’s how you’ll know it’s the truth. Because I called it here first.  Anyway, go look at her tumblr and follow her and stuff cause she’s great.  Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

I always feel a bit of pressure when I post the lovely and amiable pigeonfoo.  Basically cause I know she is going to read this.  Sure, there are other people I have posted who have read what i have written and I know they might read it if I post them and so on but I know Pigeon Foo is going to read it.  Which means I can’t really half ass it and go uh, “hey look, it’s Pigeon Foo.  Bird Joke Bird Joke, End”.  Actually, now I kind of want to erase this whole thing and just write that.  I am so tempted, maybe next time.  Anyway, I am posting Pigeon Foo cause she is… uh foobulous?  Yeah, that was terrible, if you have a better joke go start your own blog and post her on it.  No, really, I am pretty sure she’d appreciate it.  But I like Foo, if you are lucky enough to have talked to her you’ll know she’s pretty epically awesome and seriously, check out her hair in the first and third picture.  That is unreal, right?  Like that first picture?  Her hair is just amazing.  I love it!  It looks so good and even though she had long hair when I first noticed her it somehow feels the most Pigeon Foo of any hair I have ever seen.  At least to me.  That’s why I posted those pictures.  I usually have a reason for posting every picture I post.  Like the second to last one.  Well, I guess it’s obvious why I chose that one.  The snow out in the yard.  Look at it!  I love snow.  I am so jealous of the snow.  It basically hasn’t snowed here at all this year.  Very jealous of the snow in that pictures.  I am sure it’s the first thing you guys all noticed.  So there you go, a lot of words saying nothing in honor of pigeonfoo.  That’s twice I have linked her and I know I get a lot of new followers all the time, go check her tumblr out.  Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

I don’t typically do birthday posts but pigeonfoo isn’t typical is she?  I believe I have documented quite well in the past that she rules.  I could make charts and graphs and stuff but obviously everyone is just going to be looking at the pictures.  If you are reading though here is what you should do for her birthday: reblog this post so other people can see it.  Now, I know that sounds potentially self serving but I promise it isn’t selfishly motivated.  See, when you are any small business owner (and I bet you haven’t thought of that, have you, models are running a small, often one person business.  We are told time and time again that small businesses are the backbone of America so why haven’t we ever seen prominent politicians praising Pigeon Foo?  Major oversight if you ask me) one of the hardest things to do is to let people know that your business even exits.  If I were talking about Pigeon Foo’s Carpet Emporium her real struggle wouldn’t be in laying carpet and like… whatever else a carpet store does, it would be getting customers in the store and even having people looking for carpet knowing it exists.  So as a model her struggle is not so much in modeling (which tough job but she clearly can do it) it’s in the getting her name out there and so on.  So that is why you should reblog this because think of all the followers you have who don’t even know Pigeon Foo exists!  I mean, that’s tragic for them right?  It’s also sad for her because again, more people knowing who she is means more work and… it’s like the circle of life except not at all.  Maybe it’s like dominoes.  Not the game where you match like numbers of dominoes but you know, when you knock one down.  What am I saying, you get it, you are sharp, you follow this blog (or the Pigeon Foo tag).  I mean if you really don’t want to give me the notes then go to her blog and reblog something she herself posted, though, you know, I don’t know what I did to you.  Whatever, I have dropped the ball here, I feel like this entry should be better but they can’t all be winners.  No wait, they can’t all be Pigeon Foo quality!  Let’s go with that.  See what I did there?  Anyway, happy birthday to Pigeon Foo and today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

Normally I write about what makes people so great but I have done that a bunch and sadly this time I am going to have to write about some pretty gaping flaws in pigeonfoo because they need to be said.  Her big flaws, as far as I can tell are:

1. There is only one of her.  This leaves the world dangerously Foo-deficiant.  What if there is a some sort of emergency in San Francisco and like,… London at the same time and the only solution is some Pigeon Foo.  Due to her poor planning and the limits of she’d really be able to only go to one place
2. She might be hording all the awesome.  I know from experience that she is pretty awesome and the truth is I have met a fair number of people on the internet and a good number of them are painfully lame.  Maybe it’s cause Pigeon Foo is using all the awesome.  Not so cool.

Now, the big question is how she got so awesome, there are lots of theories on this (by theories I mean bullshit I am making up as we speak but it’s cool, I am an expert on awesome.  I spent my childhood playing totally rad video games, watching the most badass movies and one time my friend and I created a super villain who had the body of a gorilla, robot arms, and shot chainsaws out of his mouth.  That’s pretty friggin’ awesome).  Anyway, the most popular theories are that as a kid she was left on the step of awesome monks and spent her life training to be super awesome until finally she left their awesome monastery to spread awesomeness in the world or she was bitten by some sort of radioactive monkey ninja pirate who worked part times as a motorcycle daredevil, thus giving her the proportionate awesomeness of a spider.  Anyway, mixed in with all of this is the fact that it’s been about 2 years that I have been following Pigeon Foo and in that time her work has gotten increasingly better, I have really seen her  grow as a model and it is impressive but probably her third flaw, as she gets better and better at what she does she’s really just making the rest of us look even worse.  Like a bunch of lame-os.  Kind of a dick move on her part if you ask me.  But… it’s hard to stay mad at her because she’s pretty awesome.  Trust me, I know, I’m an expert.  Go ahead and follow her and you’ll see I am totally right.  And all of that is why today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

Here is Pigeon Foo, who has shown up here many times before, including both of my most popular posts of the year posts.  Because people love them some Pigeon Foo.  As they damn well should!  See, she is here today because she is awesome.  I mean, sure she’s pretty, it doesn’t hurt that she’s pretty (and for real look at the things her hair is doing in that third picture. How do you not love that?  That is awesome) but she is here because she is awesome.  I know this because I have been lucky enough to talk to her sometimes and that is when I discovered what everyone who knows her even a little knows, she’s awesome. You might think I am laying it on a bit thick there but I am not joking, people have sent me asks before to tell me that she is just an amazing person to know and how pleasant she is.  Nothing speaks better of you as a person than when your reputation is nothing but people saying you are great.  She doesn’t really have to be, especially on the internet because let’s be honest, the internet can act like a bag full of dicks when it wants to and I often think the one unifying trait of the internet is that it hates women, so she doesn’t have to be nice.  But she is awesomely nice.  And awesomely awesome!  And just, look, follow her, it’s very simple, her name is pigeonfoo and tumblr makes it so easy to link to blogs now.  My point is she’s awesome with a sub point of she’s pretty and I think I implied you’re all dicks, sorry about that, bag full of dicks is just really fun to say, but my point is that today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.

If you did not know this is actually the year of Pigeon Foo.  Don’t worry if you didn’t know, I had to be told also, my knowledge of the Chinese Zodiac is way off.  But this is the year of Pigeon Foo.  And so far it’s been going very well because she keep doing amazing work.  That’s why she’s here today, because she is my friend and I am really excited for her.  If you don’t have the pleasure of knowing her at all I can assure you she is totally awesome.  Or awesome to the max.  I am not sure what the technical term is but it is one of those two, I can never remember the difference.  I slept through awesome 101,  which is why my blog, while being super rad, is only kind of awesome.  But our dear Foo has a black belt in awesome.  I promise.  So that’s why she’s here.  That and because she’s hot.  Ok, so she’s here because she’s doing great work, it’s the year of Pigeon Foo, she is totally awesome/awesome to the max, and she’s hot.  It’s all very technical, look, you should visit her blog and look around cause there you can even sometimes see her Foobies (It’s the technical term, I’ve checked).  And you should send her an ask or something letting you know she’s pretty awesome.  I mean, she knows I’m sure but it’s always nice to hear.  Then come back here and just like… reblog everything.  Tell you friends about my blog.  Or your parents if it’s their sort of thing.  Or whatever, just enjoy this post and know that today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.