Tag: Singer

I am glad that Lana Del Rey is… maybe not less divisive than she once was but that the… let’s call them the internet hipsterati have found other things to kick around since 2011.  Side note, I already feel bad about that word, hipsterati, I think hipster is a generally worthless phrase because I have never actually met anyone who is the walking stereotype people portray when using that term and let me tell you, I have seen so many bands you guys have never heard of.  I have 7 inches from bands that maybe never even existed!  Wait, i am digressing, my point is I am glad that’s over.  I really only see stuff from people who actually like her now.  I find, in general, that just makes for more pleasant experiences because like, if I am seeing positive things about people I don’t like I can scroll past but I don’t ever have to see someone making really fucked up statements about people I do like.  And the interesting thing about her is that the controversy was always about how authentic she and her image were.  Why I say that is interesting is the image, kind of the whole package of pseudo-throwback from the smokey voice to the fashion to the lips and the hair go a long, long way to making me attracted to her.  People can debate all they want about how much of it is contrived or not but that doesn’t change the fact that she is very attractive and there is a sexiness to her image, nature or unnatural.  (As another aside if you care about my thoughts on such thing I think authenticity is largely a lie.  All images are cultivated.  Some might be more of an affectation that others but especially in the age of the internet we are active curators of our own image.  Facebook, tubmlr, twitter, everything is not a peek into our soul, it is a peek into the part of our soul we want people to see.  It is a carefully designed bit of PR to present ourselves to the world as we wish to be seen.  Even if you share everything.  Even if nothing you like is popular.  I would remind you the “individual” is the most popular and successful marketing type in existence).  My point is that once I went to the Grand Canyon and it was god damned beautiful.  I expected a hole in the ground and instead I had my breath taken away.  I can’t imagine anything artificial being done to it and it being better.  I also have also stood atop a hill in my city and stared out into the night.  The lights twinkle and dance and the hum of the city is a music that fills my ears and it is beautiful as well but there is nothing natural about it.  No one rails against way old buildings bunch together to create a gorgeous back drop for being affected.  So I wonder why we are so worried about it on a personal level.  I guess what I am saying is it doesn’t matter which way the needle points on her, today I want to fuck Lana Del Rey.

It’s actually been over a year since Lana Del Rey has been here which is both surprising and not surprising at all.  Surprising because she is rather attractive and I have quite a few followers who absolutely love her.  Not surprising because I was probably most into her before he first album even came out and man, that feels like a million years ago now, right?  Back when there was debate about if she was indie or manufactured and like before she even was on SNL and people blew that out of proportion?  Well, she released a new song which if you are reading this you probably know.  If you aren’t reading this you probably don’t care.  It’s been all over my dash as well as her Coachella performance and well… she is attractive and not all together unpleasant to listen to.  Nice to look at and to listen to.  So… it’s that simple, today I want to fuck Lana Del Rey.

So I kinda assumed that someone else would show up here today but then I saw a picture of Katy Perry and now she’s here.  Because that happens to me.  She is slightly attractive and I guess sometimes it means I end up posting her.  Like… I dunno, 35 times prior to this it has happened that I have posted Katy Perry.  Because I guess she’s sorta, kinda attractive.  Sorta.  I mean, that means she shows up about 5% of the time on this blog but you know, whatever.  It isn’t like once I see an attractive picture of her she’s all I can think about and she seems to just push out thoughts of other girls.  It’s not like that at all.  It’s just a coincidence that happens.  Or… whatever, I’m full of shit.  There aren’t even any new pictures of her or anything and I have like zero interesting to say, not that that stopped me from going on and on.  One of the things I enjoy most about her though is the spectacle.  I appreciate the effort that goes into what she does on stage.  So I included pictures of that.  I like pretty costumes?  Dress up is fun?  Look, Katy Perry is very hot and she certainly has a distinct personality.  I really enjoy the whole over the top without shame thing.  And she’s really hot. So you know, I guess, maybe, sorta today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

If you know me, or just have been following me for a while, you will know I have a complicated relationship with Taylor Swift.  Maybe relationship is the wrong word, I don’t want to start rumors, anyone else and that would be just a word but with her it could start rumors we have dated.  Which is kind of part of the complication.  Most people who know me would know I would say I am not particularly attracted to Taylor Swift, that I find her annoying.  This was very true once upon a time.  This is also the 10th time I have posted her so it kind of bellies the idea that I find her unattractive.  But the narrative that most of the internet latches onto of her life is what annoyed me about her for years.  I found her music especially grating, a thing I couldn’t put my finger on (I tried, too.  I have gone into detail).  Something about her private life was bothersome.  But… I don’t know anymore, maybe I turned a corner eventually because at some point I started to feel bad that everyone was piling onto her.  Like once the idea coalesced that she was a serial dater slut shaming “nice girl” I started to see cracks in all of that.  There are valid criticisms of her work and I suppose her but it strikes me as unfair to judge young women who grow up in the media spotlight.  We all made a lot of dipshit mistakes at 19.  I wore some stupid clothes trying to find some sort of identity.  There were people who slept around a lot.  There were people who didn’t sleep with anyone.  There were people who became communists for a month and Buddhists the next when I was in college. It is part of growing up.  So if Miley Cyrus seems to perpetually feel the need to show off that she gets bikini waxes that’s fine, she’s young.  Taylor Swift spent quite a few years manufacturing romances, dating people for very little time, acting like her minor relationships weer epic romances, and then scorching the Earth afterwards with bitter songs… well,it isn’t any worse than when my friend Nate started smoking a pipe so he could have a “thing”, it’s just more public.  More importantly, she hasn’t done that in a while.  Maybe she will again, maybe she is that sad bitter person who doesn’t get how poorly it reflects on someone to always trash their exes.  Or maybe she is different now.  I don’t know but this is the place I am at, where I feel bad when I still see posts criticizing Taylor Swift’s love life popping up.  They can be funny but they are snarky and lazy.  None of that is why she’s here, that’s just me rambling because I can’t sleep. She’s just here because I still am not that attracted to her most of the time.  Except sometimes I am.  I still don’t know what flips that switch but it has been flipped right now and so today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

I feel like Katy Perry won the Grammys.  Or at least won the post Grammys party.  In a world of what have you done for me lately that’s probably the most important, the Grammy’s are so 20 hours ago but post Grammys parties are like 16 hours ago.  Anyway, Katy Perry is here and my sleep has been a mess so here is where I get confrontational and tell you to just deal with it.  Which is a strange thing to say because no one has complained that I have been posting Katy Perry recently.  As a matter of fact the posts have been kind of popular.  Well, that’s all well and good but here is where i tell you to shove it anyway.  Here are a bunch of pictures of a hot woman who is charming and beautiful and interesting to look at.  So suck on that jerks!  Or don’t, whatever, it’s entirely up to you.  I don’t know, I am super tired guys and my brain can go about as far as, “Wow, she is so pretty, look at her face… oh man and then just look down a little further… wow”.  And like, look I managed to put 5 pictures in a tumblr post and not fall asleep, that’s a victory today.  Yay for me.  Yay for Katy.  Today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

Behold the power of Katy Perry.  So I was busy saving pictures this morning and I was like, “Oh wow, celebrity X is looking pretty good.  I guess I am posting her in a few minutes”.  And i kept saving and then I got to Katy Perry’s GQ pictures and I kind of sighed and was like, “No, I’m posting Katy Perry”.  Not that I am upset about it but it was a sigh of giving in.  Why would I fight it?  I can’t.  For real, she shows up and it’s like, sorry ladies, come back some other time, Katy Perry wins today.  I have discussed why this happens, the formula a friend and i came up with basically can be summed up to be, “She is really, really, really, really hot”.  So you heard it here first guys, Katy Perry is extremely hot.  You’re welcome, I am sure it had been bugging you why you keep looking at pictures of her.  There’s your answer.  Just relax and enjoy it and agree with me when I say today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

I know I posted Ariana Grande just like a week ago… or two weeks ago now, man the new year is going fast… but here she is again.  Because she’s cute.  And she’s hot.  And… I don’t think I need another reason than that.  I find her attractive and it’s as simple as that so today I want to fuck Ariana Grande.

So, you know, the Golden Globes were last night.  I would usually declare a winner.  I was so ready to post Jessica Chastain you guys.  She looks so good presenting on the telecast.  So good.  And like… then I waited a while, then here I am bright and early grabbing picture of last night and like… look, I am not going to declare Taylor Swift the winner because her Golden Globes dress was kind of whatever.  But so far she’s been the winner of the after party.  The black dress.  I don’t know why, something in my brain happened and I kind of sighed and was like, “Welp, looks like it’s time to put together a Taylor Swift post”, and I knew the battle was lost because today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

I was discussing with a friend the other day about the strange sort of hold Katy Perry has on me.  I mean, not strange like where people go, “What’s wrong with you? Who would find her attractive?” but rather strange in that it is unique among anyone.  If I am sitting here and I want to fantasize about a celebrity… well, that happens, clearly I like celebrities.  The list of who might pop up is a long one, some people are more common than others but it’s a long list.  Katy Perry never pops up.  Just… if I am not thinking about her I do not think about her.  But then you have a day like yesterday where I am not fantasizing about anything, my mind is nowhere near that point and then I see a picture of Katy Perry and she is all I can think about.  All.  I cannot see a picture of her and not start at least sort of imagining Katy Perry naked.  Or making out with me.  Or… well, you know.  That is also a uniquely her thing, normally I am a person of at least some self control, I don’t see pictures of other pretty girls and find myself obsessed.  I do with Katy however.  She has some magic hold over me.  My friend explained it as, “That formula would boobs + legs + eyes + hair + lips + personality = you want to fuck her”.  It seems accurate.  I won’t fight it.  Today I want to fuck Katy Perry.

I was going to start this by saying I don’t think I have ever had a sexual thought about Demi Lovato before but then I realized I guess I have.  I remembered some time ago and the discussion came up about the whole Disney type starlets at the time and I don’t really remember it other than me saying that if any of them were attractive it was probably Demi Lovato, she was the only one I thought was good looking.  I don’t know why her name popped up, I know next to nothing about her and I don’t know why her name popped into my head but it did.  I remembered it because then like almost immediately after she entered rehab and I got teased because I have long history of finding famous people attractive right before they go to rehab.  This is of course, God Punishing these foul harlots for tempting me.  Which brings me to my real point, I have some Good News to tell all of you… I am joking of course, though to me it would be hilarious if this blog was a 21 month long con before becoming hard line born again evangelical.  But I think it’s one of those jokes only I have funny.  Anyway, something we will vaguely call… circumstances, brought Demi Lovato to mind again last night and so… here she is.  I bet a lot of you have way better reasons for why she is great than I do, I know next to nothing about her but I think anyone dealing with recovery is pretty awesome and strong so we’ll go with that?  Oh and she is pretty, that’s the real reason she’s here.  Today I want to fuck Demi Lovato.