So the Video for 5 in the Morning came out and thus I am posting Charli XCX. Cause I think Charli XCX is hot as fuck and I like her music. I don’t have any deeper meaning or thoughts there. I like how she looks. I like how she sounds. I quite like her in general. Today I want to fuck Charli XCX.
Tove Lo performed at a Pride Festival in New York and wow, she looked fantastic. Of note, going a truer blonde has done wonders for her. It’s weird, it’s such a small change in hair color but it is really working for me for some reason. She looks great. And you know, sparkly rainbow outfits are always good. I think. They don’t get work a lot, so maybe there are situations where they are bad. I have never been in a meeting in some fancy office where someone came in in a sparkly rainbow suit. Now that I bring it up I wish I had but I never have. But in situations where I have seen them I enjoy them. So today I want to fuck Tove Lo.
Janelle Monae is here because she looked amazing at the BET Awards last night. Just amazing. I can’t be that surprised because she almost always does. Like, I can see people criticize her attire now and then as being strange but to me that isn’t really a criticism so much as a bonus feature, but either way I can’t think of any other way you could ever attack her impeccable style. And yesterday’s rainbow dress is beyond reproach by anyone. Well, I say that, I am sure there is someone on the internet can come up with a reason but that is a person who just likes being wrong. I don’t get that at all. When I was much younger there was this Britney Spears game for play station where if you worked really hard and won the game you could be her back up dancer. Like, that was the whole point of the game. It always struck me as a game for people who enjoy feeling disappointed in their own fantasies. I feel like that is the kind of person who enjoys being wrong. I dunno. I don’t want to shame anyone too much but that’s some weird desire. So for people who don’t get off on being morons, her dress was perfect. So I am posting her. Today I want to fuck Janelle Monae.
The Ocean’s 8 premiers have largely left me disappointed because I really expected them to be cavalcade of oh my god and they haven’t been. Which is fine but also you know, disappointing. I am posting Rihanna cause she looked pretty good at the most recent European premier though… well, she has yet to wear anything that completely blew me away. Which is a pretty high standard I know but it’s Rihanna, it’s the standard she has set. I remember getting in trouble for a bunch of B’s on my report card as a kid but my best friend was given a cake for passing every class and I felt that was a bit unfair (and it was) but there are different expectations for different people and the expectation for Rihanna is generally set at amazing or higher. So I liked what she wore but it didn’t blow me away. Maybe she just was showing female solidarity. There are a lot of women in the film and showing other people up is kind of a dick move. I could believe that, Rihanna seems like a pretty decent sort in that way. Anyway, disappointing Rihanna is still pretty great, in the scheme of things, so I am posting her. That feels important to say, “Rihanna doesn’t look as good as she does sometimes” is the same as, “Rihanna looks better than almost everyone else ever”. So you know, again, it’s a matter of expectation more than anything. She looks good. Today I want to fuck Rihanna.
I started this by thinking, man, I haven’t posted Charli XCX in ages. And I was like, well, then it’s a good time to post her. But somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered if that was true. I did some extensive research, which involved me clicking the link to my blog then using my finger to scroll down and then both eyes to look at the pictures and words on my blog to discover that it has been three days since I last posted Charli XCX. Which is forever in XCX years I guess. What can I say, I like her. I saw some pictures of her performing on the Reputation tour and I liked how she looked so here are pictures of her on stage. Enjoy I suppose. Today I want to fuck Charli XCX.
Charli XCX put out a new track today and I quite like it. 5 in the Morning if you want to go look. She shared it everywhere, including here on tumblr so it shouldn’t be too high effort to find it. She is amazingly prolific and at this point pretty clearly addicted to the studio since she is on tour yet I constantly see her posting about finding time in the studio between dates. Who knows when she actually recorded this but I am thankful for more Charli. And you know, I so rarely have ever posted her I guess I will this once. Have I even posted her before? I am not sure. It’s a mystery, I’ll have to look and see. Maybe once or something. Today I want to fuck Charli XCX.
Rihanna is here because it really doesn’t take a lot to make me want to post Rihanna. Her showing up in a magazine is usually enough. In this case she is going to be in the June issue of Vogue and thus here she is, on my blog. It’s pretty simple math and I am not sure anyone can blame me because Rihanna is of course ridiculously beautiful. She just is. Today I want to fuck Rihanna.
I kinda knew since her Rolling Stone showed up earlier this week that Janelle Monae was going to show up again soon. It just was basically a given. It seemed very unlikely that her new album would drop and would somehow suck. Especially given how very good Make Me Feel was and how amazing the video was. It just seemed very unlikely that somehow the album would be terrible when three singles in everything was good. And I am here to tell you the album is good. I really dig it. It made me think of Prince, as did Make Me Feel. That isn’t to say it sounds like Prince but it made me think of him. Which might be the highest compliment I can give an artist. There is just a feeling of this being some amazing fusion of a million influences to create something that is magic. So I like it. And I like her. So she’s here because how could she not be? Today I want to fuck Janelle Monae.
How about some Dua Lipa guys? You kids like her right? I am not sure why I phrased it that way. It makes me sound like some out of touch dad at best or more likely someone trying to lure you into their basement to never be heard from again. I am sorry, I didn’t mean to come off that way. I don’t even have a basement guys. What I do have is a lot of affection for Dua Lipa, who is pretty hot. I like her. Today I want to fuck Dua Lipa.
I like when I get surprised by who I pick. Like, in no way was Avril Lavigne even on my radar yesterday. I am not great at knowing what tomorrow will bring anyway but had I put money down on who was likely to show up Avril wasn’t going to be there. Because Avril Lavigne hardly shows up in my life. Out of Sight out of Mind and all that. But then she was at a charity event for the Race to Erase MS and she looked good and so here she is. It’s always nice. And she looked good, though thanks to the internet when I see her in a dress now all I can think is, “Someone on the internet thinks that’s not the real Avril Lavigne because they think the real Avril would never wear a dress”. It’s a weird world we live in guys. Today I want to fuck Avril Lavigne.
Who I want to Fuck Today 