Tag: Singer

Happy Birthday, America!  Are you feeling your age yet?  I get it, it’s been a rough couple of months in a lot of way but I am here to remind you we’re built on a couple of principles and a big one is that we’re in charge.  It’s why we told King George to shove it, because we knew a people can only be ruled through it’s own consent.  We still can only be ruled through our own consent.  It means we can reinvent ourselves whenever we want, which is why I chose Lana Del Rey.  She reinvented herself and it was pretty successful.  That’s the freedom we enjoy, and some people hold it against her but those are sad and bitter people.  Sure their voices are the loudest sometimes but they fade away if like all trolls you don’t feed them.  She pushed forward, she put in the work, she believed in herself.  It’s the same for everything.  We can be the America you want but you have to stand up for it to be so.  That doesn’t mean shutting out opposing views.  It doesn’t mean shutting them down either.  The only way to counter a bad idea is with a good idea.  We have them.  Be vocal.  Keep in mind we can be what we want to be and that King George can get bent for all we care, remember, nothing is more American than telling authority to suck it.  Happy 4th everyone.  Train, say your prayers, eat your vitamins, believe in yourself.  Be a real American.  Today I want to fuck Lana Del Rey.

Demi Lovato was playing a festival in Brazil and I thought she looked really good so here she is.  Though I saw her with a Brazilian Flag and my first thought was, well I hope she’s back in the states before Tuesday or she won’t get to see fireworks.  Which might be among the dumber things I have thought before.  I don’t think Demi Lovato’s life is lacking for fireworks.  I could be wrong but I bet if she really wanted to see fireworks she could manage somehow, even if she’s in South American for the 4th of July.  Still, if she wants to see them I hope she’s back.  Anyway, I think she is delightfully pretty and I really love her smile. And the stuff she wears on stage.  So here is Demi Lovato because today I want to fuck Demi Lovato.

Charli XCX opened up Glastonbury yesterday and I thought she looked really good in the bits of it I saw.  Of course, there are basically no pictures of the performance anywhere that I can find so I am not showing them here.  Instead her are other pictures of Charli XCX and you can imagine her on stage singing.  Enjoy that I guess.  Today I want to fuck Charli XCX.

So are you aware Rihanna has a new video?  Do you know that Rihanna is unmistakably and remarkably beautiful?  If so, good for you, you are alive and have eyes.  If you aren’t aware I am here to educate you.  She has a new video.  People like it.  People like the song.  You should check it out.  I can’t promise you’ll like the song but I bet if you’re reading this you’ll like the video.  I feel confident in saying so.  If you didn’t realize she’s beautiful I don’t know what to tell you.  Check your pulse, you might be dead.  If you are I am sorry.  That has to be hard to handle.  But hey, congrats on still being able to use a computer!  Try not to take it personally if people see you and run in terror, it isn’t you, it’s a natural human aversion to the unquiet dead.  Sorry, we all have our blind spots.  We can’t see past the unnatural circumstances of your existence and you can’t see past your cold, soulless existence to realize that Rihanna is beautiful.  We all have flaws.  Except I guess Rihanna, who genuinely seems like a pretty amazing and delightful person and again, is beautiful.  Next level beautiful.  Today I want to fuck Rihanna.

Here is Demi Lovato on account of her being so pretty.  That’s basically it.  I saw some pictures of her this morning and it’s like, man, she’s so pretty.  Pretty simple post today I guess.  I just think she is really gorgeous.  Today I want to fuck Demi Lovato.

Charli XCX was performing at the Governor’s Ball earlier this week and I had been waiting for pictures to emerge and they have so she is here.  It’s nice because I am extremely attracted to Charli XCX, even if I am a little bummed we aren’t getting her album until late in the year.  Assumign we get it then.  Her career trajectory has been so strange and the album being pushed back mixed with Atlantic’s sudden decision to charge for her free mix tape and release it on Radio and just… well, it has always been clear that they don’t know how to handle her but also maybe she will never be what they want.  I was thinking about that last night and how much her sound seems to shift constantly, which makes sense since she is an excellent song writer (and that’s probably why they want to keep her because she can write hits for other people) but also very creative and creative people usually don’t want to be boxed in.  I mean, early on she got all that critical praise mixed with no album sales.  She probably counted more critics as fans than non critics as fans at some point because I remember True Romance sold notably low numbers when it was first released.  But… well, I don’t need to go into this album by album.  I liked Sucker plenty but I know she didn’t and I can see how it could be considered the label forcing her to try and recreate I Love It.  I happened to like Vroom Vroom a lot but maybe the world isn’t ready for PC Music.  Maybe the world never will be.  Anyway, I was thinking about all of this and the concept that pop music is frivolous or silly but it is clear there is artistic intent and integrity to what Charli XCX does as well as a lot of hard work. I suppose those who like to decry pop could claim that’s why she has never become a true star, because pop music rewards sameness, not innovation.  I would argue those people are assholes because as someone who grew up a punk kid and spent a lot of time going to indie rock shows, no genre really rewards innovation and pretty much everyone wants to slap you down if you don’t conform.  Trust me, no one conforms to the pressure of peer standards more than a group of non conformists.  Anyway, I was thinking about this and I hope her new album comes out eventually but more I hope it is just whatever she wants it to be.  I happen to quite like her and on top of that I also find her extremely attractive.  I guess both are why she’s here but the second part more so right now.  Today I want to fuck Charli XCX.

Pixie Lott did what was honestly a pretty weird photoshoot for Wonderland Magazine but it’s weird in a good way, which is why I am posting her.  I have a hard time coming up with things to say about Pixie pretty often because liking her boils down basically to her being really, really pretty.  Like the kind of pretty where I see her in pictures and I am always like, “wow, she’s so pretty”.  So I decided to count how many times I have used the word “pretty” in posts about Pixie Lott. The answer is 44 times in 26 posts.  Well, this is post 27 and now I have said pretty 49 times.  I guess I think she’s pretty.  That makes an even 50.  Today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

The internet is a strange and wonderful place, guys.  Strange and wonderful. So in my perpetual pursuit of enlightenment yesterday I discovered there is a persistent and wide spread internet conspiracy theory that Avril Lavigne is dead.  No one can agree on when exactly she died but they are sure she did and she was replaced by someone named Melissa.  This might sound strange to you but they have pretty strong evidence in that Avril used to wear pants a lot more often.  This is true.  I was there at the start, stocking her CDs in the front of the store display when her first record came out.  She wore pants a lot. People were outraged.  Not cause of the pants but because of the whole look. The whole fake punk thing.  Looking at it now not only does it look dated as hell, it’s also just kind of adorable.  She looks like a kid playing dress up because she was basically a kid playing dress up.  She was like 18 when her first album came out, she wore giant pants and ties.  It was a look.  It might seem funny to you guys now but give it 15 years and then look at your favorite stars of today.  You’ll cringe.  Trust me.  Anyway, the fact that she doesn’t dress the same in her 30’s as she did at 18 is strong proof she is dead and replaced by a body double.  That is the theory.  She got so famous that she hired a look alike so she didn’t have to deal with her fans.  Then the real Avril died and the record label just decided to keep using the look alike.  I feel bad for the look alike who apparently has to now live a lie for ever and apparently no one is looking for her?  Like her family and friends just shrugged and never ask, “Hey, remember our daughter Melissa who looked just like Avril Lavigne?  Has anyone seen her this decade? No?  Weird, me either.  Oh well, pass the popular Canadian condiment we all use.  I assume some form of seasoned snow.  Pass the seasoned snow please.  That’s some good seasoned snow, eh?"  Those Canadians, they don’t want to cause a ruckus over a missing person or anything, that would be impolite. Anyway, I have my own theory about pants.  See, as I advanced in my career I started working from home more and you know what I stopped doing?  Wearing pants.  Or shirts.  Or really almost anything because I am home alone and fuck you, I’ll wear whatever I want, which is almost nothing.  Now, you might point out this theory makes no sense but hey, it seems as reasonable to me.  Man, what’s wrong with the internet, here I have unimpeachable evidence that Candice Swanepoel is stalking me (and now Ellie Roswell, too) and there is nothing on the internet about it.  And I know evidence because I am an expert in the law.  It doesn’t come up a lot but I have watched at least half of six episodes of Law and Order over the years, so I know what constitutes an air tight case and mine is it.  This fake Avril thing is not it.  Anyway, this is a long way of getting to my main point, which is Avril Lavigne has always been pretty hot. If she has a secret twin that’s just good news, we can always use a little more beauty in the world.  Today I want to fuck Avril Lavigne.

So I was wrong about Cannes yesterday.  Not that it was starting.  It started.  People were there.  People looked good.  Not many people were there yet though and what I was wrong about was the idea that it would dominate posting this week.  See, instead Lana Del Rey showed up in Elle in the UK.  And well, her coming out with a new album is great because we get new Lana Del Rey photoshoots which are honestly always a fantastic thing.  I quite liked the Elle editorial because it was big on the glamor but toned down the sepia tone filters.  I mean, I like the sepia tone filters and all with Lana but a little variety is nice.  And she looks very good all fancied up.  So she is here today and it was an easy decision.  Today I want to fuck Lana Del Rey.

Pictures of Pixie Lott surfaced of her performing over the weekend at a place called Gay Heaven and it was like a light bulb went off in my head.  My dear friend @wildflagsure is always talking about how badly she wants to take Pixie Lott to “Gay Heaven” and all this time I thought it was some euphemism.  But of course it’s not, she just wants to take Pixie Lott to some club in London so they can be gal pals and maybe a roommate or something at some point to snuggle with and um… talk about boys probably.  You know, typical gal pal stuff.  All this time I thought she was making a sex joke and it confused me because I doubt Pixie Lott can even do a Fisherman Suplex.  Anyway, I thought Pixie looked good on stage and I would be pals with her but also I think she’s pretty hot.  So for me at least today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.