Here is Kate Upton, or as I like to think of her: the future Plaintiff in Kate Upton vs. Whoiwanttofucktoday.  (That’s a restraining order joke folks.  Is it too vague?  I can’t tell.  My point is I am obsessed, dangerously so.  Really, I need help…) Anyway, she is here because she is great and hot and I like her a lot.  I can’t tell you why.  Like I know most people will say it’s the boobs and the body or whatever but… I don’t know, there are a lot of boobs and like literally everyone has a body of some sort.  There is something special.  Maybe only I get it.  Maybe we have a special connection.  Definitely this post will be used as evidence in the civil hearing that results in me not being allowed within 500 feet of her.  You know what’s most damning?  When I end this post by saying today I want to fuck Kate Upton.