Ok, real talk time, Candice Swanepoel is actively stalking me.  You may not have known this but now you do.  The evidence is all there.  She has somehow gotten my followers to start sending me videos of her.  She sends me pictures of herself all the time.  They just show up in my mail.  Now, ok, sometimes she is clever about it and there is this whole “catalog” thing with other girls in it and it’s a pretty good cover.  Of course, I didn’t give anyone my address over at Victoria’s secret, so she slipped up a little bit.  But the thing is she keeps sending me other stuff in the mail too.  I keep getting post cards with her picture one it, usually in just her underwear or something, and it tells me I am invited to the local Victoria’s Secret store for a special event or sale or whatever the ploy is this month.  It’s always her.  Very clever, clearly I would get there and she would have her chance to pounce.  I’m flattered and the only reason I haven’t gone yet is because I would hate to burst my little bubble.  As of this moment I have what I am going to call very strong evidence Candice Swanepoel is waaaaay into me (everyone else is going to call it very strong delusions).  Well, I am here to say I am into her, too.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.