I watched Jimmy Kimmel last night because Charli XCX was on it and I was up anyway.  I am here to tell you that Late Night TV has totally lost it’s luster for me but Charli looked fantastic.  I wish I could show you but it turns out there are basically like no pictures of it so you’ll have to take my word.  I mean, you can trust me.  You won’t.  Not some of you.  I imagine about five of you will take my word for it and you’re the same five who always seem down with me posting Charli and those of you it annoys for some reason will not believe me.  Which is kind of hurtful guys.  But I am not going to be able to convince you when I tell you she was on a set made of white shag carpet and was wearing a silver lined white fur coat and I happened to like both.  And I am not sure why.  I am old enough to remember all those suburban basements that still had shag carpet. Sure it was 10-15 years out of date but that’s how the real world works, you get that trendy shag and it’s expensive to fix  And in a basement it was a terrible idea, it always had this smell about it probably because it was always vaguely damp.  I remember playing Atari in this basement of this house two blocks over, the mom used to watch us all sometimes and i remember sometimes if you set a book down on the carpet it would get stuck and would be slightly damp.  Jesus, why did they shove us down there as kids?  It was probably a moldy death trap. Anyway, that tangent aside, have I convinced you how good Charli looked last night?  You might think none of that is sexy but I am saying she looked good and I apparently have deep-seated negative associations with shag I didn’t even realize until I was typing today.  She looked great.  But the best I can do is a picture of her from her instagram of her getting ready.  Where she also looks great.  But is just in a bra, not a white fur coat.  Sorry.  Today I want to fuck Charli XCX.