Kate Upton is back in this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and thank god.  I mean, it wasn’t painful without her but Kate’s best work is often in a swimsuit so I missed her last year.  It seems a lot of people did because she’s currently trending on twitter.  Ranking above the fact that our President and his advisors colluded with the Russians.  Jesus, this country used to hate communism more than anything, even more than it loved boobs.  Better red than dead, guys.  Have you seen the Soviet Swimsuit Issue?  No, you haven’t. It’s the Soviet Parka edition because all it does is snow in Russia and that’s all that’ll happen here if we give in to this horseshit.  Better dead than red, guys. And before someone sends me something about the fall of communism I would like to point out that first of all, I don’t care.  Second of all, better dead than red just sounds better than better dead than the cronies of a oligarcic kleptocracy run by a former KGB agent turned Autocrat.  Anyway, Fiji sure is pretty to look at huh?  Well you know what, I agree but the Russians don’t.  They will take away Fiji and Kate Upton’s boobs if they get the chance.  Do you want that? No?  Then go buy a subscription to the Washington Post, it’s only like $3 on amazon.  I went with only picture from the Swimsuit issue today because sometimes in rare cases I do that.  I did that because I think Kate looked great this year.  I have heard some complaints that it is similar to previous years from her but she looked great in those years so the transitive property means she looks great this year, too.  So here she is looking great. Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.