Dove Cameron is one of those people who comes out of that massive child entertainment machine that means I knew the name, I recognize the face, and my brain registers “famous” with both but I could not have told you what she was in or matched the face to the name. That was true for years. And this is not a commentary on her being bland or anything like that but more the fact that Disney is so good at marketing that you learn about what it is selling almost through osmosis. Why do I know her name? I have no idea. Why did I know that face? I have no idea. I just did. I knew my buddy @femalecelebrityoftheday liked her and agreed she was pretty when he posted her but apparently the next day it all blurred together again. So it’s almost embarrassing that she showed up on Agents of Shield… at some point. That also blurs together because I never watch anything in a timely manner anymore. Anyway, she showed up and my response was, that girl is hot, who is she? Well, it was Dove Cameron. Surprise? Kinda. It seems odd for a Disney star that I know almost nothing about but have ideas as to what that entails would have a dramatic role as the badass villain on a Marvel show. Or maybe that makes sense and I am just an idiot. Whatever. My point is she looked really good and continues to look really good and I like evil women a little bit I think? So today I want to fuck Dove Cameron.