Category: Uncategorized

Yesterday an ex’s phone was somehow compromised, I don’t know how, I didn’t call her, but suddenly her Instagram was flooded with naked pictures and videos and whatever I suppose was on  her camera that would be considered private. It made me angry as it should make everyone.  This is, of course, the sort of thing that only really happens to women.  Be it revenge from someone who felt wronged or a stranger who found her phone this is still very much an action we would take against women.  Call them whores or at least imply it.  Stand in judgement even as we giggle with glee and titillation.  That is why Taylor Swift is here, not because she has nudes out there, she doesn’t as far as I know so you can stop googling and keep reading.  No, she is here because she has had this sort of public rehabilitation of image which is great but at the same time a lot of what lead up to it was the public bullying a young woman in a way only a woman would be bullied.  After all, Derek Jeter is celebrated for how often he’s a love em and leave em kinda guy.  He gives gift baskets afterwards. Now, I did think at the time and still do some of the emotion just felt false to me because I was 20 once and every break up sucks but not every break up can really be the worst thing that ever happened to you.  But I was also 20 once and I remeber everything seemed to matter a whole lot more.  And I probably would have been way worse at making everything an over dramatic slight if I was writing songs.  Young people are in love with romantic woundings and making ourselves seem like emotional cripples because of what that guy/girl/whomever did to us.  So it would be foolish to look back and not think the hostility we threw her way was related to her being a talented and successful woman.  I guess that is what I am thinking about today.  And why Taylor Swift is on my mind because , and I have pointed this out before, we did wrong her and I do feel bad about that.  I doubt she really needs me to make anything up to her but it’s the kind of thing that is important to acknowledge.  It’s how you prevent repeating your mistakes, you admit them.  Today I want to fuck Taylor Swift.

So Agent Carter was renewed yesterday and I am so damn happy about it.  I loved the show, I didn’t make a secret about this, so I am very excited to have it back.  Especially because I had basically resigned myself to it being cancelled as many people were predicting that.  But it wasn’t cancelled.  It’s coming back.  And as good as the show was I have high hopes it will return even better.  Because the whole reason it was good was because Hayley Atwell is amazing.  Her portrayal of Peggy Carter basically resulted in a huge crush on Peggy Carter.  She took a blank slate of a character, one I have no real connection to and turned her into one of my favorite heroes.  Period.  It’s kind of amazing.  I love the show but I think I might be in love with Peggy Carter.  Again, this is because Hayley Atwell is so good in the role.  Just perfect.  She is amazing.  So she is here today in celebration of the renewal of Agent Carter.  Also she’s here because she’s really, really hot.  Today I want to fuck Hayley Atwell.

So for those of you who don’t know, and I say that a lot but in this case there is just honestly no reason you’d know this, I use a Roku to consume most of my screen based media.   I like it a lot, I highly suggest it if you are without a smart TV and want something.  Anyway, it has little billboard ads for things to watch on the far right of the screen when you are choosing which app to open, there was an add for something called Kate Spade Misadventures.  No idea what it was but Anna Kendrick’s face was huge on this add, it was basically her face, looking beautiful and hopeful and… I clicked my first ever roku ad.  Apparently it’s a youtube video.  And it was mildly funny.  Because Anna Kendrick is funny.  And charismatic.  And gorgeous.  And basically kind of perfect.  I can’t believe it’s been more than a month since I posted her last.  it feels like a huge oversight.  How is it possible I have gone a month without posting her.  I’m sorry.  Terrible mistake on my part and thank god to the brave men and women who come up with algorithms that figure out what I might like.  Because it brought all of us a little bit of Anna Kendrick today, and that makes all our lives better.  Another Victory for Capitalism!  Suck it Lenin. Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick

I believe I have bemoaned Christina Hendricks’ boobs before.  I realize that is a strange thing to say but I feel like her boobs, or more accurately the internet’s obsession with her does a strong disservice to her.  I just finally watched the latest Mad Men and the way she is able to portray resolve and heartbreak able to convey heartbreak and resolve together is just wonderful.  Her portrayal of Joan Harris has always been fantastic. I feel like someone pushing against the glass ceiling and the general gender inequities of the era could have played it as very histrionic or overly dramatic.  It isn’t though, instead we always got someone who was well aware of the limitations placed on her by others and yet still striving against them.  Honestly, that is one of my favorite aspects of Mad Men, her and various other people’s journeys as the world changes. And I feel like all of that is sadly over shadowed by her boobs.  Because they cast a very large shadow.  But man I love Christina Hendricks and her work.  Today I want to fuck Christina Hendricks.

The Met Gala was last night and it’s always a good night for pretty dresses.  Early on I thought I was going to end up posting Anne Hathaway today because I liked what she wore a lot, it was gold and shiny and jokes have been made about me really liking shiny dresses.  Especially gold and silver ones.  Like I am easily distracted or a raccoon or something.  But then I saw Jessica Chastain.  It should be noted she was also in a shiny gold dress.  Which goes a long way to proving I am an easily distracted idiot or a raccoon.  Often when I post her i have just seen something with her in it and will talk about her acting because holy fuck can she act.  But none of that happened, I just thought she looked amazingly gorgeous at the Met Gala.  She won the Met Gala.  I am calling it.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain. 

I watched Let’s Be Cops last night and you know, if you’re coming her for my movie recommendations I would say you can skip it.  It was ok but overall pretty dull.  Nina Dobrev was in it though and it served as a strong reminder that Nina Dobrev is ridiculously attractive. She is just so pretty it’s stupid.  I mean, I already knew this, I have known this for a long time but it served as a nice reminder.  So here she is today because it certainly seems like a fine time to post her.  Today I want to fuck Nina Dobrev. 

Hey look, it’s Scarlett Johasson again.  Good weekend if you like her. Bad if you don’t I suppose but if you don’t like her it’s probably time to reassess you life choices anyway. She hosted Saturday Nihgt Live last night and I watched and… hey, it turns out I am attracted to Scarlett Johansson guys.  I know, it’s a big surprise for all of us.  So here she is again, second day in a row because today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

I saw Avengers yesterday, which really should surprise no one.  It also should surprise no one that Scarlett Johansson is here because… um, she’s Scarlett Johansson.  Now, I have a friend who told me she expects Elizabeth Olsen to start showing up and watching the movie, yeah, I can see that, I can see people being like, “Wow, look at her”  But for me it’s still all Scarlett.   Part of it is that I have been attracted to her for… let me check to make sure my math is good… uh 14 years.  Cause I thought she was hot in Ghost World. So that is going to influence me because… well, very few celebrities have that staying power with me.  But I think maybe the better explanation is that Scarlet Witch is one of my favorite Avengers and always has been.  I have basically never cared about Black Widow at all.  Yet when I watch the movies, I am struck by how amazing Black Widow is.  She is awesome.  I think of the scene where she and Captain America are in a truck in Winter Soldier and she is just giving him a hard time and it’s like, yeah, she’s great, I would like to hang out with her.  I feel like that is the best tribute I can give to Scarlett Johansson, she took a character I don’t really care that much about and made her someone I think is great and it doesn’t feel like a betrayal of the character or someone different.  Basically, her presence makes things better.  Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Welp today is Avengers Day and I am pretty psyched.  This is on account of me being totally awesome and hyper cool and like all awesome hyper cool people I was a huge comic book fan for a lot of my life.  I feel like you should have been able to piece this together about me if you’ve been following me.  The comic stuff.  Well, and me being hyper cool.  Obviously the best thing about comics is that you can roll them up and use them to beat away all the people who desperately want to have sex with you on account of you being a comic fan. So I am excited about Avengers because it is just surreal and exciting to see things I dreamed about as a child see fruition on the big screen in ways that are better than I thought possible. I don’t know if Hayley Atwell is even in a cameo or anything in the movie, I read as little as possible, but it would be nice.  I know when I think about the MCU she is at the top of things that make it great. She is beautiful and charming and it’s really no secret that I think I might be in love with Peggy Carter, so that’s why she’s here, because today was a nice excuse to think about just how great Hayley Atwell is.  And man she is pretty.  Today I want to fuck Hayley Atwell.

Today is a very important day, people.  Very important!  Today is my dear friend lunoboom ‘s birthday.  This is important because she is just wonderful.  If you don’t know this I feel very sad for you but it’s understandable because you may have never gotten to talk to her.  That is why this is such a great day for you, I am going to give you an excuse to start.  Go ahead and go to her ask box and wish her happy birthday.  Izzy is the Izziest Izzy who has ever Izzied.  On top of that she is smart (taught herself English by watching TV), is mega talented (She plays bass, drums, guitar and sings better than she is willing to admit), and is beautiful (in the sense that her face is quite pretty and she has very lustrous hair).  She also once won a staring contest with a mad gorilla (that I just made up but it doesn’t mean it’s not true).  Anyway, this is your chance to get to know her, after wishing her happy birthday my suggestion is to start talking about Lana Del Rey.  Izzy quite wisely realizes that Lana Del Rey is gorgeous.  And talented.  You can talk about her songs or just how she makes your heart go a flutter, I promise you, Izzy can discuss both.  In English or Portuguese.  Talented, I tell you.  So wish her happy birthday, make a new tumblr friend.  Discuss how hot Lana Del Rey is!  These are amazingly great activities I am offering you.  Today I want to fuck Lana Del Rey.