Category: Uncategorized

I honestly feel like I shouldn’t have to explain why I am posting Anna Kendrick when I do.  Because she’s Anna Kendrick, obviously I am posting her. It seems more like if you don’t immediately get it I just feel bad for you.  You must not have really been exposed to Anna Kendrick at all.  This strikes me as a very sad state of life to be in.  One where you aren’t aware of how awesome Anna Kendrick is.  I say you get to googling.  Cyber stalk her a little.  You’ll get it.  She’s great.  Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

So for some reason Google decided to pop up an article I might like that said the internet has decided Kristen Stewart is a lesbian.  This is not the first time I have read an article with this general theme (it also had no date so who knows, maybe this is old but then why would Google think I had to read it).  This also reminded me of a well known axiom that if you want to find out a girl’s sexuality ask her if she thinks Kristen Stewart is a lesbian or not.  I haven’t actually done a lot of field testing on this but I have noticed that yes, people answer whatever their sexuality is.  Why does Kristen Stewart bring this out in people?  I have no idea.  She just does.  That’s not what’s important though.  What’s important is that I have determined the internet is a lesbian because it keeps declaring that Kristen Stewart is a lesbian.  Except of course the Internet hasn’t come out.  And how the internet identifies is it’s own business so it would be douchy for me to just loudly proclaim something counter to what someone has defined in their own sexuality.  So I won’t do that.  I will point out you’re failing your own test though, Internet.  Expect every bit of hand holding you do from now on to be very fiercely examined.  All of this lead to me thinking about Kristen Stewart this morning and now she’s here.  I happen to care very little about if she is or isn’t a lesbian because it seems painfully unimportant to my life.  She looks pretty sometimes though.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Stewart.

Often when I post someone it is a battle of who I actually choose cause I have a bunch of people bouncing through my head and they are all fighting for attention.  A lot of this week was like that.  Then other days people flit in and out of my brain and don’t really stay and I have no idea who I am going to post because I can’t seem to care enough to actually put together a post.  Today is more like that.  Probably because I didn’t really watch anything yesterday, instead a I read a book like a fucking nerd.  I am so disappointed in myself.  Anyway, eventually at this late hour my brain settled on Barbara Palvin and I don’t know why.  She’s pretty though so I’ll take it and half ass this post and say today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

Here is Kate Upton because Kate Upton is hot.  I cracked the code guys, I figured out Kate Upton is hot!  It’s taken 48 posts but I finally did it, I finally figured out that Kate Upton is hot and that’s why she’s popular.  Is there a Nobel for being an internet perv cause if so I just earned it!  Anyway, I love Kate Upton on account of her hotness but also she just seems fun.  She smiles a lot, she seems to enjoy herself.  Those are good traits.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

So I am home from work for the day (I hope) and I brought work home with me and I am currently listening to Chuck Berry wonder why a woman named after make up can’t be true and the simple truth is I have no fucking idea, Chuck, some people just aren’t built that way.  And some people are assholes.  Her parents named her Maybelline. That really should have been the first red flag. What does that have to do with Emily Ratajkowski?  Nothing really.  I can’t even reach and come up with a bullshit reasons.  I am basically just explaining that I am not really particularly normal.  The fact that I am holding conversations with Chuck Berry records is part one.  Part two is me looking specifically for red carpet pictures of Emily Ratajkowski when usually she shows up here half naked, on account of her being a model who often wears very little.  I thought it would be nice to put her in clothes because… I’m an idiot?  Is anyone on the internet sitting around wishing for Emily Ratajkowski wearing more other than me?  Probably not.  I can’t help it, it’s what i wanted to post for her today.  I think she is gorgeous and I happen to like clothes.  She looks good in clothes.  I mean, she looks good naked, too.  She just looks good.  Beautiful people do that.  Look good in clothes or naked.  Anyway, if you got this far I’m sorry, they can’t all be winners.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

So here is some Anne Hathaway who hasn’t shown up here in a long time.  It’s one of those things where I quite like her but like.. I just haven’t felt the urge.  Which is funny because there was a point in my life where I was teased about being so into her.  Part of that teasing was because she was “the girl from those Disney movies”.  Which I guess tells you how long ago that was.  It probably says a lot about her that that feels like a million years ago now, as a matter of fact I would imagine most people pause for a second when they think about it.  It seems like an entirely different person.  The point though was I was very attracted to her.  I am still attracted to her and if I am going to be honest I am so glad her hair is getting longer.  Today I want to fuck Anne Hathaway.

So for most of the year Jessica Chastain has been mostly absent.  From my blog but also from the celebrity sphere.  It happens to movie stars because they have to actually work and if nothing is coming out they aren’t showing up in public as often.  I knew this fall would be a bonanza for Jessica Chastain though, or rather a bonanza for seeing Jessica Chastain, though I do hope it’s going well for her, I have nothing but affection for her.  Anyway, it has been everything I have hoped because she has been everywhere.  Well, almost everything, I haven’t actually seen Interstellar yet so I guess it could be god awful but picture wise I have won big time.  She is just everywhere and you might know this, I happen to find her extremely attractive.  Because she is gorgeous and also mega talented.  So I am so happy that she keeps showing up on the red carpet (though why is every landscape picture of her on the red carpet at a dutch angle?  Is the paparazzi trying to tell me secretly she’s a supervillain?  Is it wrong that if it turned out she is secretly plotting to take over the world I would be more attracted to her?)  So I am pretty happy with that and here she is in like the past month or so and she is gorgeous and so today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

Thank you for all the birthday wishes yesterday guys.  That post got more notes than any other Kristen Bell post has, I dunno if that was because of my birthday or everyone finally woke up on how great she is.  Thanks either way.  Today i am posting Natalie Dormer because I woke up with her on my mind.  Quite a few times.  I had multiple dreams about her last night it seems and I don’t entirely remember them all but multiple times I woke up during the night thinking about her.  I remember seeing her name on a list in one dream.  I remember… I remember some stuff. I don’t know why my brain was obsessed with her but I am not complaining because she’s pretty great.  I’ll take it, there are way worse people to think about all day.  Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.

So today is my birthday,  If you didn’t know.  I assume everyone knew cause you probably are planning who I want to fuck today celebrations at this moment.  I know it’s a big day for you guys.  Truth be told my weekend was a little lame but that’s what happens as you get older, this shit matters a lot less.  Anyway, I am picking Kristen Bell because it’s my birthday and I think she is perfect.  Nothing else to say really.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

Katie Cassidy is probably the only celebrity that my brain has a theme song to.  Like I see her and it starts playing in my head.  I may have mentioned this before.  It’s the Partridge Family’s “I Think I Love You” which will of course be what they write on the restraining order.  It’s not really my fault, her dad is the one singing the song and that’s how my brain works.  Not that I think that explanation makes it any more normal or less bizarre.  I have labeled Katie Cassidy one of my obscure crushes here before but I am not sure that really applies much now that Arrow is popular but either way I doubt what she is looking for is someone to lean in and softly whisper in her ear, “You look so lovely tonight.  You make me think of your dad”.  Anyway, she is lovely and I adore her and so today I want to fuck Katie Cassidy.