Becky G was at the upfronts for Univision and… I dunno what’s going on. I assume a TV show on account of her being at upfronts and it being for a TV station? Seems reasonable. Basically all I know for certain is she looked nice. I wish I had something deeper to say but it’s a slow week either way and sometimes that’s the long and short of it. Someone is pretty, I like how they look, so I post them. Today I want to fuck Becky G.
So there were some TV awards in the UK yesterday and even though it happened a whole day ago the only pictures I have seen from it are Holly Willoughby. Was she the only one there? That seems terribly lonely and must have been awkward during crowd shots. Still, it’s ok because if I am going to be perfectly honest, even if I had seen pictures of all the people likely to attend the British Academy Television Awards, there is like a 95% chance Holly Willoughby would have been my favorite anyway. So here she is because she’s pretty and I always like her in a gown. Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.
So Fan Bingbing was at a Louis Vuitton show in Japan and there is also sorts of confusing cultural interchange going on there but I am posting her because oh my god did she looks just ridiculously beautiful there. I shouldn’t be surprised because that’s a thing she does a lot. I mean the look beautiful part. Though the Louis Vuitton part, too, I think the last time I posted her was at another fashion show or something. Anyway, she looked great. I was going to make a joke that it’s the picture where she has a Louis Vuitton purse but… well, it’s not that good of a joke. It is a coincidence though because I just met someone the other day who explained the way he got out of Saudi Arabia was he opened a business in Dubai selling knock off Louis Vuitton purses to American tourists and then once he saved enough moved home and applied for a student visa here. That doesn’t have a lot to do with any of this but it warms my heart that cheap Americans are indirectly making dreams come true around the world. Anyway, Fan Bingbing is one of those people who may have been built in a lab somewhere because she is almost supernaturally beautiful and frankly looks a good 15 years younger than she is. Which suddenly has me really concerned that she’s a communist plot to distract us. Or me at least. I assume that the Chinese know the part I played in bringing down the Soviet Union because I rooted really, really hard for Rocky to knock out Ivan Drago when I was a kid. So they probably fear me at least a little. Well… bad news for Freedom, it’s working, I am distracted. Today I want to fuck Fan Bingbing.
I know it’s kind of boring when I post the same person twice in a week but what can I say, I am boring. Also, slow week for events and stuff. Also also, Priyanka Chopra is very pretty and has been on a million shows and stuff this week so I constantly am getting new pictures of her arriving at this thing and that. So you know, you’ll just have to deal. Besides, this blog isn’t about variety, it’s about my mercurial desires for various celebrities. She has looked good, I like her a lot, today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.
So if you are unaware, Fiona Apple’s Tidal is out on vinyl for the first time ever, which is very exciting for me because I adore Fiona Apple and I have been listening to it non stop since I got it. I happen to really like Fiona Apple and I happen to really enjoy the record. It’s a little startling to think about how young she was when the record came out and that she could write such good music so young. It’s also a little startling that 20 years later she looks almost exactly the same. I have posted her before but it’s been almost 5 years, which is kind of crazy but not at all crazy given the fact that it is still hard, in this modern era, to find decent pictures of Fiona Apple. It’s all magazine scans from the 90’s that look like garbage and I get it. That was when she was on the cover of everything as she was sexualized, criticized for being sexualized, criticized for saying she didn’t like being liked just because people sexualized her, criticized for MTV acceptance speeches, criticized for being too skinny, and so on and so on. I have no idea why she kind of retreated in her public profile. I also don’t understand how she could make such good music and people wanted to talk about waifishness. But they did. It was a different time and some of my readers might not believe this but there was a time when it felt like a woman couldn’t do anything right. Someone was always there to criticize it and knock them back down. Luckily things are all better now. Anyway, it seems in general things have come around on her as these things always do. Her anxiety, her OCD which is actually a debilitating disease not just a cute thing to claim to have cause you like to pull off the tab on your coke can, all of these things have been discussed and I think it’s good overall. I feel like I should have more to say about it but I am kind of tired of it all. The simple truth is she is an excellent song writer with a lot to say, she makes beautiful music, she has an amazing voice, and she has piecing blue eyes that I find very attractive. That feels like all that really needs to be said I guess. Today I want to fuck Fiona Apple.
I posted yesterday about being really tired and someone commented on my post about wouldn’t I rather have a nap. And I responded along the lines of, “Why not both?” Because I have never understood people who make foolish wishes. Like, if you’re sitting around going, “God, I wish I had a nice tall glass of iced tea right now” and suddenly one pops in your hand you’re going to feel like a real jackass. Cause you could have easily wished for a Pony instead and then you’d have a pony. Instead you’re the chump who couldn’t be bothered to walk to the kitchen and now you’ve wasted your wish. So, what I am saying is I am still really tired because of course I couldn’t actually sleep again last night and my life is a mess but like… I am leaning way more towards nap today but I still wouldn’t go nap cause I can just take one of those myself. The only limitation there is logistics and self respect. Luckily I am a genius so I can work out the logistics and I have never had that much self respect anyway. So even as tired as I am today nap loses handily to Madelaine Petsch. She is basically here because she’s really easy. Having written that I immediately know how it looks. I don’t know her and I make no judgments either way, I am not some 1950’s letterman, so I don’t really use the word “easy” like that. I just meant that this is a low effort post on my part because her pictures are doing all the heavy lifting. I don’t have to write out like a list of bullet points on why it is reasonable for me to find her attractive. She’s done all the hard work. Like, really the only hurdle to this post is spelling her name. I am so tired I am paranoid I will fuck it up because I am a shitty speller to begin with but you throw in the fact that both have extra letters and well… if I did I hope she can forgive me. As for why she’s here? Cause my phone dinged to tell me Riverdale is on tonight and my mind went down a rabbit hole. Final episode. Be there or be square. Huh, maybe I am a 1950’s letterman after all. Anyway, today I want to fuck Madelaine Petsch.
Bear with me guys, I have been up since 3 AM for reasons that can be best described as my brain is an asshole who hates me. I swear, I am so close to retaliating by stabbing it with a q-tip you don’t even know. Anyway, the disadvantage to being up for 8 hours at 11 AM is that it is approaching mid day and suddenly I am starting to feel my tiredness. So this could be loopy, I misspelled know by adding an e to the end of it and I had to look at it for a good 10 seconds before I figured out why that red line was there. My work won’t suffer at all today I am sure. There are advantages to being this tired though. I used to write a lot in my youth after being up for 50 hours straight and so on. Looking back at them they read like the deranged ravings of a lunatic or at least a deeply insecure and depressed 20-something. Everyone else seemed to think they were really, really entertaining though. So good news, you might be entertained by this. Better news, if you make sarcastic comments about liking it I will be too tired to detect the sarcasm. Best news, I sometimes feel like I am at my purest while this tired. The truest me. Like, I am too tired to put in any sort of effort in the falsities and masks we cover ourselves in in the performative art that is life and how we present ourselves to others. So I can tell you quite honestly I have no idea why Priyanka Chopra is here today other than she popped into my head. I guess with my defenses down my brain went to her because she’s really hot. So hey, that’s simple. Priyanka Chopra is here because she’s hot. She’s here because today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.
I thought I was going to start this by saying it has been years since I posted Aly Michalka. It turns out I was wrong, it has only been 9 months. That was also because of iZombie, which is on tonight and which I always look forward to because… well, it’s excellent. I happen to be a fan of Rob Thomas’ work. A lot of times when I watch I find myself thinking I should post Aly again because she is beautiful. I don’t think I am going out on a limb there, it’s one of those things, she is just gorgeous but also a great example of the fickle nature of fame. She had a lot of heat what was a long time ago now, staring in a show, she seemed to be on every gossip blog all the time. Just pictures and attention for days. Now… well, almost nothing. And I often get frustrated when I go to post her (same with Rose McIver. Why aren’t there pictures everywhere promoting this show? Horrible mistake CW). Anyway, she was at something this past week and the show is on tonight and it’s all the reason I need to post her. Today I want to fuck Aly Michalka.
Pictures of Pixie Lott surfaced of her performing over the weekend at a place called Gay Heaven and it was like a light bulb went off in my head. My dear friend @wildflagsure is always talking about how badly she wants to take Pixie Lott to “Gay Heaven” and all this time I thought it was some euphemism. But of course it’s not, she just wants to take Pixie Lott to some club in London so they can be gal pals and maybe a roommate or something at some point to snuggle with and um… talk about boys probably. You know, typical gal pal stuff. All this time I thought she was making a sex joke and it confused me because I doubt Pixie Lott can even do a Fisherman Suplex. Anyway, I thought Pixie looked good on stage and I would be pals with her but also I think she’s pretty hot. So for me at least today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.
So I caught up on this weeks Riverdale (the adaptation our favorite Grocery Store Digest, “Archie and the Gang Watch a Snuff Film”) in the early hours of the morning and you know, revelations episodes of shows are never as good. This was a fine episode but it wasn’t as great as earlier ones because you have to ignore character work and instead get the plot wheels spinning but you know, it was still good. I still enjoyed myself. I am not sure what they are doing next week but I am working off the assumption that it will be bananas. Anyway, late in the episode as we got to focus on Cheryl it sort of hit me that man, Madelaine Petsch is just so hot. Like, ridiculously so. In their creepy nuevo-Gothic maple syrup mansion that really should have the sound of bats and like chains rattling or something played on a loop to really go for the aesthetic this family is going for, watching this and seeing Madelaine Petsch dressed in dark somber colors as she always is at home, I was like, Jesus, she’s so hot! Because she is. So I am posting her today. Today I want to fuck Madelaine Petsch.
Who I want to Fuck Today 