I am pretty sure, even though it has happened before (7 times actually by my count. That’s a lot. That’s once a year basically), that at least some people will give me a hard time for posting a porn star. I kinda get that. I am not a big porn person in general. Porn watching person. I am definitely not a big porn person. I have never done porn. This is, I should point out, not because of high mindedness or deep moral integrity. I have no issue with sex work but do have some issues with how the industry can spit people out. It’s a nuanced point and I would say nothing is either good or evil so much as how it is used. My point though is that isn’t why, it’s because I am a control freak with a god complex and those people in porn just won’t do what I want them to. Also there is no story. Look, it’s great you guys are fucking but why are you fucking? Why am I supposed to care about a couple of strangers orgasms if I know nothing about them as people? I mean god, what if they are monsters? Then I don’t even want them to have orgasms. So in general until they make the sims for porn so I can make stories and control every aspect of someone’s life like the mad scientist I am deep down, I use my imagination. So it’s rare for me to post a porn star cause it’s rare for me to watch porn but when I do I tend to get obsessed with a… someone. A person. A woman. I am not sure why I said that so mysteriously but it’s more like their personality almost. Despite there being no story or knowing nothing about them. This is Jasmine James who I am intensely attracted to and couldn’t tell you why for a long time. Which almost sounds insulting but I mean there are other porn stars with big boobs and brightly colored hair. Why, I’d be willing to bet there are at least 10 porn stars with big boobs at least. So as I said, I will be mocked either way so to heighten my humiliation at first I was like, “maybe it’s because she’s kind of classy?” I was pretty frankly told she was not and I was being distracted by an accent and boobs. I have since found out that her accent is apparently the opposite of classy in the UK. Oh well. It does bring up an important point to Brits, which is that Americans are fucking morons and your accent is a super power. I was at a nursing home recently and this very kind British woman gave me all these facts about the home. It was so informative. It also turns out according to the staff it was entirely fabricated. They said she can’t remember anything so she just makes things up but everyone believes her because her accent makes it sound like she must know what she’s talking about. So you know, Americans are fucking morons. Bad ass, freedom loving morons but, you know. So I was dazzled by that and boobs, which sometimes I am a fan of. I’ve always played that close to the chest but sometimes I like boobs. Finally, my dear friend Katherine pointed out to me that it’s her facial expressions. She has an extremely expressive face and looks like she is just having a blast. Which means either she is or she’s a skilled actress. Either way it’s why I like her I think. Plus I am an American moron and she has boobs and an accent. Today I want to fuck Jasmine James.

So the Emmys are tomorrow which means Emmys related stuff is going on this weekend. I am posting Dove Cameron cause she is pretty and tends to look good and she was at some Emmys stuff and was at some Fashion Week stuff earlier in the week so it’s time. So here she is. Today I want to fuck Dove Cameron.

Because I have my finger on the pulse of what is hip and cool and I live on the bleeding edge of cool I spent this week playing Tomb Raider. No, not the one that came out this week, the one before that that came out in 2015. I just got around to it. Probably as a result of all the commercials for the new one. Anyway, among my many super cool traits that have always made me the apotheosis of cool is my intense attraction to a couple of video game characters, in this case Lara Croft. I mean, so was the rest of the world in the 90’s but it is the reboot that really brought me on board. I mean, yeah, they did a good job of making her beautiful but I have really enjoyed her character arc. I quite enjoyed where she started and look forward to where she is going but man, she could be in a better spot for the middle chapter of this story. But that’s kind of why I dig it, they have made her so human. She still has her heroic tenancies and will do the right thing but seems thus far kind of blind to the consequences of her actions. Like, I am not an expert in archeology but I bet that most digs don’t lead to thousands of deaths. I could be wrong. Maybe I am wrong. Because I knew one guy once who was an archeology major and he never mentioned any classes in murder, so I just assume it’s not part of the curriculum but Lara Croft was either born with the ability to creatively break a man’s neck or someone taught her that. I guess I could be showing my ignorance here, I have no idea what is standard in an English education. Maybe “Stealth Kills” is an elective UK kids take when they’re 13. It’s like Home Ec, Shop, or how to fashion your own weapons at a campfire and silently kill a man with them. It doesn’t seem like a very British thing to me but those sneaky Brits hide a lot from us, Celebrity Juice doesn’t seem very British either but someone over there is watching it because it’s been on for like 100 years is my understanding. Anyway, my point is that Lara’s true calling is unstoppable murderer and I saw criticism back when the game came out that the game didn’t address it. She was torn apart by killing in the first game and seems mostly ok with it here. I would say it’s character growth that does it. Or maybe part of her fall. Either way it seems like a natural progression as she advances as a person but fails to see all the consequences of her action. Which makes me excited for the next game but also I think is why I am into her. It’s the reason I think so many people get crushes on fictional characters. Because we know them better than real people. I spent like 16 hours with Lara Croft and know her very well. And she’s well fleshed out. So she’s interesting. Also she can jump from platforms and use a bow and arrow to shoot out a rope to swing across a chasm and then use an ax to climb a rock face. She’s a badass. Who wouldn’t be attracted to that? Today I want to fuck Lara Croft.

Red Carpet Candice Swanepoel is always a rare treat so it was nice she showed up at Fashion Week this past week to help provide some red carpet action for us. It feels important to point out that as disgusting as it is, this woman had a baby just like two and a half months ago. Not the baby having being disgusting but that of course she looks like a woman who has never had a baby already. Which is impressive but doesn’t matter that much. I bring that up because a week after she had a baby the internet the swirls around models (which is often barely a step up from YouTube commenters) sure was criticizing how she looked post baby cause the had the audacity to go to the beach with her family. It doesn’t feel like it needs to be said but in general if you think that a woman needs to know your opinion of her body because she happens to be outside and have a body, you’re a piece of shit. If you think the world really needs to know that you think a woman daring to have a baby has ruined her body, you are like, even more of a piece of shit. I dunno what that is. Double shit maybe? My point is it’s all stupid but I am glad she has returned to the point where those people have even less of a leg to stand on. I mean, look, they’re trolls and not worth listening to but living well is the best revenge. And she looks stunning. Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Olivia Munn is showing up for the second time this week because The Predator premier was last night. Or I guess the LA premier. The global nature of the world these days makes these things very confusing. Anyway, she looked great and it was a dress that was so for me that it would have felt like a deep betrayal of my core being to not post her. Well cut, shiny, silver. She looked fantastic. Today I want to fuck Olivia Munn.

Here is Victoria Justice who looks so good so often it can be boring. I know that sounds like an insult but it’s more like… I don’t know, an explanation. She is just one of those people who always looks so good I find myself going, oh, yeah, she looks good again, and then moving on. I guess as far as curses go it’s not the worst one. Either way, the result is she has shown up here for years but never that often. It’s Fashion Week though and she always attends and I bet if I looked back she always gets posted at some point because it is a guarantee she’ll wear at least one thing I love. She did that yesterday at the Alice + Olivia show. I don’t know if all that teal and sparkles is fro anyone else but it’s definitely for me. I love it. So I am posting her. Today I want to fuck Victoria Justice.

I was torn today between posting Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively because I thought both looked fantastic at the premier of A Simple Favor. I guess I eventually settled on Anna cause I liked her red dress a little more? It’s hard to say though, Blake looked fantastic. I mean, it’s not hard to say, clearly I have made my choice. And I stand by it. I am just saying the competition was fierce. I realize I haven’t actually read any reviews about the movie, just that Anna Kendrick apparently has a crush on Blake Lively. I dunno if that’s a bad sign or not. I hope the movie is good. Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

Olivia Munn had a bit of a rough weekend and I guess that had me thinking about her and I want to show my support? I mean, I don’t post people here to show support but I can’t post her without mentioning it. Some people seem genuinely confused and I get why. I am a person who believes in forgiveness and I believe in second chances. That should be said. So I understand the impulse that I keep seeing from men which is essentially, “Well, there has to be a route back from a mistake”. Or some version of that. I get the impulse. I think if you are one of those people it is likely even coming from a good place. But the problem here is that it seems all your empathy is only going towards men. And you might not think so because I don’t think anyone sets out to do that. I don’t think you are sitting down and saying I only care about men but it is how it appears if you step back and look objectively. Because women were victims of these men and women have suffered and yet somehow the conversation is about what can we do for these men. I don’t like revenge. And eye for an eye is never actually justice. So understand that I am not calling fro the victimizer to suffer the same as the victim or anything like that but it can be important to think for a moment. Women have had lives and careers ruined. Black balled, forced out of the industry. Forever. So when I hear the argument that a guy has a right to a living it rings hollow. Not because I think he should suffer as much as his victims in some tit for tat sense but because no one is saying he can’t work. They are saying maybe he can’t work in this job. And it’s hard to both feel bad for him but also it’s hard to see how the concern is about his livelihood. I don’t see the same people saying people need to let the victims who have been cost work to be given jobs. So if you are someone who doesn’t get why people aren’t seeming forgiveness try to look at it from that angle. I think it would be helpful. Also it can be important to remember that forgiveness and redemption are different things. Forgiveness is personal and I don’t think it can or should be earned. You don’t make someone earn your forgiveness. It’s a gift you give them because they need it to be whole again. You are helping that person move forward. And that is between you and another person. Redemption is public and it is earned. And it’s ok to make someone earn that. That is not a cruelty, that is a matter of assurance that this person really is contrite and really has grown. The thing to remember here regardless is that Olivia Munn is a woman who indeed faced sexual harassment in her career and was not comfortable working with a child predator. So she said something. To make her a villain is shocking to me. I am not sure why she would be expected to swallow her tongue when the whole lesson we should have learned here is that we need to stop expecting people without the power to just take it for the sake of those with power. The biggest industry criticism seems to be she shouldn’t have made this public and gone thought he ‘proper’ channels. Which is how we got to the shit point. It’s ridiculous. So I guess I wanted to say that, which is unrelated to why I am posting her but needs to be said because I am posting her. I am posting her because I think she is very funny and very beautiful. Today I want to fuck Olivia Munn.

Here is Katherine Langford who I think is exceptionally pretty. Always kind of have since she first showed up in that show that frankly wasn’t great but I get why it caught fire. She was great in it. And she occasionally shows up on red carpets (yet somehow not on my screen, why isn’t she getting more work). She was at the Ralph Lauren show for Fashion Week this weekend and I took that as an excuse to post her. She looked good. Today I want to fuck Katherine Langford.

Hey guys, here is Pigeon Foo and I am 99% sure today is her birthday. It should be 100% but I am getting older and just can’t trust my memory anymore. Time is a real asshole like that, no matter what we do we keep getting older. Even Pigeon Foo, though she may be immortal. I am again, not sure. Either way it’s striking because when I first met her here on Tumblr she was just a scrappy young kid from the mean streets with nothing but her wits and her fists to survive. If I remember correctly she had to fight a series of garishly dressed street thugs who were mostly indistinguishable except sometimes they wore different colored vests and had different colored mohawks to even become a model. Now of course she beats all comers to retain her crown as uh… Pigeon Foo? Look, I’ll be honest, I only sort of know how modeling work and there might be some inaccuracies there but I think it’s mostly right. Either way, she’s impressive is what I am saying and it’s probably her birthday. I have like a 1/365 chance of being right. So wish her happy birthday just in case? She’s @pigeonfoo . So there you go. Today I want to fuck Pigeon Foo.