The last couple of days man, they have been torturous in the best way.  I have had to make hard decisions about who to post because of a wealth of possibilities.  Today I settled on Charli XCX because I am extremely attracted to Charli XCX.  It is hard to put into words, which I have mentioned before because it is just intense, there is something about her.  A confidence, an intelligence, sort of an ironic detachment while also embracing some ridiculous things.  I don’t know, I can’t seem to find a way to actually describe it, which is pretty bad luck since that is what this blog is about.  She is marvelous though and lovely and so here she is looking great because today I want to fuck Charli XCX.

Today’s pick was really hard.  Like hard enough that in the end I am going to feel largely unsatisfied and second guess myself.  When I first saw pictures of Emily Ratajkowski last night I was like, “Oh, obviously her tomorrow”.  Then Charli XCX looked pretty good, too.  Now here is Miranda Kerr who has dressed in possibly the most me fashion a human being can dress.  Like, her outfit is just perfect, I love it.  And it’s not stunning, she’s a highly paid model who often wears lovely clothing but this time it was like she reached into my head to fine my perfect outfit.  Well done.  Seriously, I love it all.  Have I mentioned i love leopard print?  I am not sure that comes up here very often.  I so badly wish I owned a leopard print fur coat.  Full length.  It would go to my ankles and have a big puffy collar.  I would wear it everywhere!  Like… even to the beach.  Which is why it’s good I don’t own such a coat because clearly I would ruin it. Can you imagine what all that salt and sand would do to a leopard print fur coat?  It would be terrible.  But holy fuck would I look fantastic.  I also am willing to take a purple fur coat instead.  Not quite as good but almost. But not purple leopard print, that would be silly. Just in case anyone specifically reads this blog for gift ideas for me.  So anyway, you mix in the everything else and the fact that Miranda Kerr is obviously extremely attractive and she is here today, I didn’t feel like I had a real choice.  Today I want to fuck Miranda Kerr.

Here is Hayley Atwell because yesterday was Tuesday and I am basically in love with Peggy Carter.  I think Hayley Atwell is pretty great, too.  The bad news is apparently this season’s ratings aren’t too good for the show.  By bad news I of course mean the worst news ever.  I love the show and was looking forward to it all year, I will be very sad if leading up to winter hiatus next year I don’t have the show to look forward to.  At least we’ll always have Hayley Atwell, who I assume will remain a delightful combination of funny, charming, British and beautiful even if the show is canceled.  I mean, I can’t imagine that going away.  Anyway, here she is because I adore her.  Today I want to fuck Hayley Atwell.

I was going to post someone else today but there Candice Swanepoel goes, trying to get my attention again.  It’s pretty blatant at this point.  I mean, dressing as a super hero is kind of the most obvious way to try and get me to notice you.  I am willing to admit that some people, if they work at it, could argue in the past that my claims that Candice Swanepoel is very clearly trying to seduce me have other explanations.  Like, the reasons I keep getting pictures of her in her underwear in the mail is because she “works for a large international clothing company” and her entire job is to “model their clothing including underwear” and their business model has long included “mail order products that include catalog sales” (I wish you guys could see the bitching air quotes I am making with my fingers each time).  Sure, I guess if someone wants to delude themselves they could convince themselves of those things.  But Spider-Gwen?  Come on. Mixing Superheroes and fashion?  Marvel comics superheroes at that?  I mean… it’s pretty blatant.  You’d have to be some sort of lunatic who doesn’t think the world revolves around me to miss how obvious this is.  Pretty tricky, Candy, pretty tricky.  Well, it worked for today.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

I realize McKayla Maroney making an appearance might seem odd or out of the blue but in my mind it’s not, she has been on my mind a bit recently for various reasons. She even came up recently in a conversation with my favorite Greek @wildflagsure. She fascinates me in a lot of ways because she is this strange lightning rod for opinions that bother me.  Well… kinda lightning rod, when people remember who she is.  You know, from the whole thing where people thought she was a bad sport at the Olympics (and I would say that her not smiling and being happy about losing is a trait we only find despicable in women, we want our male athletes to be competitive and angry when they fall on thier ass) to the thing I see now about her being lazy or… well, frivolous seems the best word to describe her overall.  Less kind is her seeming eagerness to wear things that accentuate her body.  Those also strike me as dumb because it’s just so hard for me to see someone who at 16 years old was literally one of the best in the world at what she did, and spent more time working out in a day than people reading this do in a week since she was a child as frivolous or lazy.  And as for the pictures thing… well look I think it’s cheesy when dudes pop their shirts off at the drop of a hat but they don’t seem to face a lot of comments about being attention whores.  Also, if 14 of the first 18 years of my life were dedicated to working out… I’d probably want someone to see all that work, too.  None of that is why she is here though, she’s here because I happen to think she’s pretty.  And ok, yeah, part of the attraction is people who are really good at something are hot and I like athletes.  But I find her quite attractive whatever the reason.  You can tell, cause I never like just posting pictures from instagram but here I am. So today I want to fuck McKayla Maroney.

So the Super Bowl is today and it always strikes me as a little odd that there is this weird celebrity push around it now.  Not the idea that famous people might show up to watch it, it seems like a fun time, but that the NFL manufactures all these red carpet events around the Super Bowl to just get celebrities there.  Besides just seeming odd I wonder what the point is.  You’re already the most watched thing in America and tonight game will be, as it always is, the most watched thing in the world today, so I am not sure who you are trying to rope in.  Now, I understand, “you already make so much money” is a poor argument because like all major corporations, the NFL’s goal is not to make money but to make all the money.  I just mean… who is going to watch who wasn’t already going to?  January Jones and Ashley Green are on the red carpet last night and who does that make tune in to a football game today?  I am just not sure who was either unaware or uninterested in the Super Bowl who that pushes over the edge.  Of course, I am an idiot to complain because I like red carpets and I like pretty girls.  And I even know that January Jones is a big Broncos fan, so I guess that makes sense.  I have no idea what Emily Ratajkowski thinks about football or the teams playing.  I am just happy for the excuse to post her.  I know she’s in a Super Bowl commercial but… well, who cares.  I take it all back, I don’t care, nice excuse to see Emily Ratajkowski.  She’s hot, she showed up, I am over thinking this.  Today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

I uploaded the pictures for this post at 6 AM and then saved it as a draft because I suddenly got really tired and decided it was time for bed.  So the post is rather late today because I am a mess of an adult.  I woke up at 2 AM and was up until close to 7 and… it’s a mess.  But I did manage to catch up on TV in that time frame and when I got to iZombie I knew someone from the show was getting posted because the episode just worked for me.  When I heard Kristen Bell’s voice I knew it was her because first of all I love Kristen Bell.  Second of all I love Kristen Bell and Rob Thomas together.  Third of all I love Kristen Bell and one day I am going to have her babies.  You’ll see!  So any excuse to post Kristen Bell is a good one and here she is.  Because she’s amazing.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

I have almost posted Natalie Dormer for the past couple of days.  Like, I keep finding myself thinking about her when I get up but then by the time the day gets going I have forgotten and it isn’t until the next day that I remember that oh yeah, I keep thinking about Natalie Dormer.  I don’t have a particular reason I can think of for her to keep popping up.  I haven’t seen a movie or a show or anything with her in it recently.  So I guess a non particular reason would be that she is very sexy.  That seems like a reason.  So when I saw her show up in pictures from a Zoolander screening I knew I was posting her.  I also really liked her dress.  Not because of the plunging neckline, though, I should point out I am not opposed to plunging necklines, but just the feel of it.  I think black works well for her and something about the cut and styling was vaguely sinister.  I think vaguely sinister works well with Natalie Dormer.  I don’t think she is a sinister person, I just think her sort of crooked smile where she might be up to something pairs well with potential secret Sith Lord or something.  My brain is a strange place.  I liked the dress.  I like her.  Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.

This post had a convoluted way of getting here.  I was listening to like a month and half old podcast cause that stuff can stack up, I listen when I can but I listen to too many. Anyway, screenwriter Tess Morris was on and I thought she was quite funny and she was talking about writing this movie called Man Up.  It is a romantic comedy but she was funny enough I decided to give it a shot.  It also had Simon Pegg and Lake Bell, so it seemed like something to take a chance on.  I quite liked it.  I wouldn’t say it should be an Oscar nominee but as someone who is quick to deride Romcoms as a lazy genre that doesn’t really try to be good, just marketable, it stands out that I liked it.  Because it was interesting and well written.  And Simon Pegg was funny.  And Lake Bell was funny.  Lake Bell was also a fair bit more interesting than any character is in most romcoms.  She just felt more complex and fully realized.  Lake Bell being a talented comedic actress likely helps with that.  So here she is.  Because she is pretty and funny and I watched the movie so… today I want to fuck Lake Bell.

My brain has kind of been all over the map as of late.  Like, I start thinking of girls with the most spurious connections to them.  And my brain hasn’t full settled on people, it’s kind of all over the place.  I was listening to an interview with Garrett Morris, which I was excited for because I am a huge SNL fan and he is among the most overlooked of the original cast.  So I was listening to that in the car and that made me think of Two Broke Girls because I know he’s on that now and that got me thinking about Kat Dennings and how can that show be a huge hit and yet pictures of her are so rare and often not that great?  It feels like a great injustice.  She stuck in my head though and keeps fighting her way to the front so I am posting her today.  Which is good because it’s my friend @sticky-stupid-runningdownmylegs birthday and she hates a lot of things but she loves a few things and I think Kat Dennings is one of them.  Or used to be.  I can’t keep up with my own libido, much less everyone else’s.  She may have moved on to only liking older men married to rock stars now.  I hope that’s not true.  I still like Kat Dennings on account of her being hilarious, charismatic, and hot.  Today I want to fuck Kat Dennings.