I got Colleen Green’s I want to Grow Up the other day and have been listening to it a ton.  Because it’s really good.  I am a big sucker for distortion and fuzz that sounds like old garage rock and since that kind of described a lot of her sound obviously I like hr music a lot.  But there is something more with this new album.  I can’t quite put my finger on it but I am sensing a little something deeper just like… more than the California stoner thing of previous work.  Anyway, it’s why I decided to post her.  Plus she wears sunglasses all the time like only the coolest people. So today I want to fuck Colleen Green. 

So if you like Elizabeth Gillies it’s been a really good week. She has shown up all over the place because of her new show and then last night was her new show.  It was… ok.  I guess it could end up good.  It reminded me of almost every other show I have ever seen Dennis Leary in, in that it had it’s moment but… well, I hope it does well because the media push for it has done me well.  And I’ll be honest, I’ll keep watching for a little while at least because it was good enough and I like seeing Liz Gillies.  Which is why she’s here because man she has looked good this week.  Today I want to fuck Elizabeth Gillies.

I bet you guys thought I was done with Alex Morgan for a while!  Nope, the ESPYs were last night so suck it!  That’s right, the bullshitiest of bullshit awards shows, the show that gives awards to sports, which not only all have their own awards but you don’t need to vote on who is the best because they play actual games to decide who is the best, was last night.  And thank god for our over saturation of media because without the ESPYs there would be a large number of Athlete I would never get to see on the red carpet.  Female athletes tend to be largely ignored except for the every 4 years we see them in some global event.  So I like it.  And I actually have not been the biggest fan of some of Alex Morgan’s outfits over the years.  This isn’t stunning because when your job is playing soccer and your defining skill is running really fast that in no way transfer into fashion knowledge.  It’s a whole separate skill set so you may not have both.  Like, I don’t run fast at all.  But I bought some really cool socks a couple of weeks ago.  They have flamingos on them. Because I am a fashion icon.  But not a world class athlete.  But last night I really liked what she wore, so that is good.  It was probably my second favorite dress but you know what, that Goalie isn’t getting posted.  My thoughts on that are too complicated. So here is Alex Morgan because she is gorgeous and I was happy to see her and all of that.  Today I want to fuck Alex Morgan.

Kristen Stewart is basically here because I thought she looked really good in her recent Marie Claire photoshoot.  It’s funny because I don’t really think about Kristen Stewart much at all but I have come to realize certain photoshoots always catch my attention.  I seem to like a fancied up Kristen Stewart.  I can’t be absolutely certain as to why but I think this is just how my brain works, it is rare for her thus I like it.  There are other girls who always seem to be wearing gowns or whatever and it’s like, “Oh look, t-shirt and jeans” and it’s my favorite look for them.  My brain is a contrarian dick.  But it’s my brain so it’s the boss of these things and I really like how Kristen Stewart looks.  So today I want to fuck Kristen Stewart.

So Liz Gillies had a pretty great Comic Con. I mean, I don’t know how she personally felt about it I just  mean as far as for me.  She looked great at Comic Con I should say.  But this is a good thing because she rarely shows up in pictures period.  If you have been following me for the years I have been doing this you will know at some point years ago I was talked into watching Victorious which was fine, I get why people liked it, had I been of an age for it I am sure it would have been a big thing for me.  But one of my take always from it was that Liz Gillies was the most interesting cast member on it.  And certainly she has her devoted fans but she doesn’t show up in pictures a lot.  Not like Ariana Grande and Victoria Justice do.  But maybe that is all going to change because she has a show coming up and.. well I hope it’s a huge hit.   mean, I hope it’s good but more so I hope it sparks some sort of Liz Gillies Mania.  That would be nice.  Today I want to fuck Elizabeth Gillies.

I was excited when Rachel McAdams was cast for True Detectives, not because of the whole female characters controversy from the first season (not because I don’t see that as an issue but I knew adding a female lead wouldn’t suddenly make the show feminist or unproblematic or whatever you want.  I think these are important things to discuss as a cultural issue, I am not sure they are necessarily always valid criticisms of arts quality, just valid criticisms of the culture as a whole) but because I happen to like Rachel McAdams and never see her in anything. She largely sticks to the Rom-Com circuit and that’s not my bag.  I am not one to impugn an entire genre so I am going to impugn an entire genre here, by and large Rom Coms are the most guilty of the thing I like the least in art and that is striving for mediocrity..  I watch a lot of bad movies but by and large the bad movies I watch are not cynical, they are not calculating, they are full of passion and people who just weren’t talented enough to make something good.  But I am moved by the passion, by the desire to create.  A lot of mainstream movies, and Rom Coms do seem to be the most guilty of this, have no passion, they are cold, soulless calculations that don’t try to be good.  They don’t want to be good.  They don’t want to be anyone’s favorite movie and they have no interest in being great.  They are made by skilled craftsmen so they never look amateurish, they are never bad, but they don’t try to be good, they try to be inoffensive and bland and entirely forgettable.  Every genre has this, look at any horror movie that tries to capitalize on the success of a great horror movie, but it always seemed like Rom Coms are built on this entirely.  I realize I went off on a bit of a tangent there but you know… you should be used to it by now.  Anyway, thus I don’t see a lot of Rachel McAdams and it’s a shame.  Because I like her.  So when it was announced she had been cast I was sure she’d show up some Monday.  Today is that Monday.  Today I want to fuck Rachel McAdams.

Here is some Ariana Grande for you all.  I am not sure why she is here other than the fact that she was just on my mind when I woke up.  I have had coffee, breakfast, a shower, and worked out and she’s still on my mind.  So I guess she’s getting posted today then.  I guess she is in the news cause of the fact that she said she hates America.  I guess this is a big deal to some people but I have a hard time caring about off the cuff statements by kids, lord knows I said some stupid shit when I was 22.  Honestly, licking the donut seems way more egregious to me, cause we all knew that guy when we were teenagers.  The guy who just would randomly ruin shit for other people for no reason?  That guy always bothered me, it seems to me it comes from a place of spoiled privileged that you are ok with just destroying shit.  I knew a guy who used to just randomly break stuff in people’s lawns and his point was he didn’t care.  And of course not, cause he didn’t have to work for that shit.  But in the end it’s just a donut.  So I think it’s stupid but I also think hidden video of celebrities is stupid, too.  In the end she is here because she’s hot.  Licking a donut doesn’t change that and I have a pretty high tolerance for youthful mistakes.  Today I want to fuck Ariana Grande.

Here is Natalie Dormer doing various things at Comic Con because why
not.  I am tired, it is rainy and shitty out, I am not in the best mood
so… there you go.  I smiled a lot when I saw the picture of her with
her little Vinyl figure.  I don’t have much more to say than that.  Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.

So I had a sex dream last night.  Not about Rosie Jones.  As a matter of fact it was about a person I would largely say I feel no attraction to.   As a matter of fact I twice went to post her today, thinking, well, it does seem what my brain wants, I do keep thinking about that dream and then I go look at pictures and it’s like, man, I am not attracted to this girl at all (I am keeping the name not mentioned just because I didn’t start this blog to start talking about how unattractive people are.  If you really want to know send me an ask).  The mysteries of my brain.  I mean this exact thing doesn’t happen to me all the time, I don’t have that many sex dreams, I am not whole-lies-and-half-smiles.  But like so I am thinking about this and then for some reason Rosie Jones popped into my head.  There is no relation there to anything (well other than the fact that Rosie Jones is a model and whole-lies-and-half-smiles is obsessed with models) but she just popped into my head.  Cause that’s how my brain works.  And the world knows I really like English girls.  So here she is.  And one more point fo rmy brain, I selected the last picture 100% because I have a friend who want her to see those shoes.  And I was like, oh, these shoes, she needs to see these, I think she’ll really like them.  Then I realized I am the only person looking at English Glamour Models going, “But how are her shoes”?  In fairness this is the same brain that tells me at least twice a day, “Don’t be a pussy, you can make that jump easy,” so you know, my brain is a fucking idiot. Irregardless today I want to fuck Rosie Jones.

Here is Nicki Minaj because I happen to think Nicki Minaj is really hot.  In recent months I seem to have finally picked up some followers who agree.  This is nice.  I don’t really need validation because I am confident that I am right about who I am attracted to but it is better than the days people felt the need to message me to tell me she is not attractive. I have no particular reason for her to be here but welcome to the summer, there isn’t really a ton going on.  Some weeks people are competing to get posted, other weeks, like the last couple, thee isn’t that much happening and my picks feel… almost purer.  Like it is 100% just where my brain wanders.  I might be overthinking all of this.  Whatever the reason, today I want to fuck Nicki Minaj.