The BAFTAs were this weekend and Karen Gillan looked good in all the BAFTA and BAFTA related things I saw her attend. I also think Karen Gillan is great. She is beautiful and funny and charming and silly and I tend to like her in basically everything I see her in. So I am posting Karen Gillan because I like her a lot and hey she looked good. I know such a simple formula makes for boring posts but what am I supposed to do? It’s not my fault she’s amazing. Today I want to fuck Karen Gillan.

So last night I sat around watching the Olympics on mute and listening to old British Rock bands on vinyl (the obvious pairing of course), just like every other red blooded American does. Anyway, my musings about do we listen to pop music because we’re miserable or are we miserable because we listen to pop music were derailed this morning when I saw a picture of Rowan Cheshire, whose name could only be more British if it was Nigel Pennyworth Cumberbatch IV, which I hate to reinforce gender roles and so one but would be a terrible name for a girl. So it’s probably the most British she personally could have. Anyway, here is where I do some scouting for you guys for tonight because the first part of the Women’s Ski Half-pipe is tonight for Americans. At some other time for godless heathens. Uh, like Rowan I guess. Anyway, she is just beautiful and sexy tattooed freestyle skiing badass and she reminds me a little of Alexis Ren. I don’t know what record to pair that with. My heart says 80’s training montage music but maybe Yakety Sax if you don’t like sports, that sounds hilarious. But the truth is if you can’t find some joy in the half-pipe, with the way they are able to get air and contort their bodies, then you’re a regular Ebenezer Catesbury Mudbottom (note, I cannot wait for your corrections about this name as you explain to me that also you’re not a classic, humorless Sir Hugh Hawthorne-Tittensor), which is well known to be the most curmudgeonly British name. Today I want to fuck Rowan Cheshire.

I am watching the Olympics and hey, this post is kind of related. I have been thinking about Aly Raisman since her Sports Illustrated shoot came out. I liked it. I think she is in general brave and strong and of course there was negativity about it because a woman on the internet did a thing and that is bound to piss a lot of men off. They seem like dicks to me. The shoot of course isn’t what makes her brave, sometimes people are brave to just get up and face the day. She and a lot of other women are brave for just that reason alone. I don’t really want to get into abuse here, I have a lot to say about it and always have but this is not the blog for it, so I will just say if you have suffered you have my sympathy. It is really hard, it is very isolating, and it will always be with you. But I guess that’s part of the bravery, not just continuing on but speaking out. It helps people feel at least not so alone. Beyond all the pragmatic reasons for it it gives other people courage and resolve. So I get angry when I see sad, shitty men on the internet act like sad, shitty men because a girl wore a bathing suit but then I remind myself they don’t matter, not even a little. They are trolls and trolls live for attention so my attention will instead by on Aly Raisman, who is basically a real life superhero. And by that I am no longer talking about coming forward, I am talking about there being pictures to her clinging to a wall in last year’s SI because she is in peak physical condition so is probably the closest to Spider-man we’re ever going to get. Aly Raisman can climb walls. That’s awesome. It’s also really hot. She’s beautiful and impressive and today I want to fuck Aly Raisman.

I would apologize about Kate Upton twice in the same week but I am not sorry. Not at all. There was a Sports Illustrated Launch event Wednesday night but I didn’t see the pictures until late and holy shit guys. Not just Kate, though man I love Kate’s dress, but like everyone looked amazing at it. There is something about a launch even for people wearing bikinis having one of the better red carpets recently that is counter intuitive but it happened. Everyone I have seen looked great. Many of them it was their best look in a while. Kate, who is fantastic looking, hasn’t always been great on the red carpet but I don’t know what changed recently but for the past 6 months or so she’s basically killed it. At worst she has looked pretty ok. At best it’s been amazing. She looked amazing the other day. So she’s here again because today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Well guys, here is Jessie Diggins, who is the best performer ever at Women’s Cross Country for the US. It’s not our sport and we don’t medal in it and early this morning she didn’t either. I know people were disappointing because she’s a great story. She’s adorable and charming and a real talker and from a close knit small community that gather together to watch her and it’s exactly what we want our dreamy Olympic gold medalist to be. But no one should be disappointed. She is still the best American woman ever at this. We should be proud. 5th is not 3rd but it’s good. And more importantly it’s a reminder that greatness can come in a lot of ways. Any Olympian is a big deal because they are Olympians. She is racing constantly and has more to come. She probably won’t medal at all. But she tries as hard as she can, she is someone we can be proud of, and you know what, that’s enough. Medals are nice. When Shaun White won the Gold the other day that was great but it wasn’t because the US gets another Gold Medal on the shelf. It was watching him sob and hug his parents and seeing him the happiest he’s ever been in his life. If Jessie Diggins medals it would be nice but I guess in my mind it doesn’t detract from my favorite thing about the Olympics. It’s human beings giving their all in a spirit that embodies the best of humanity. So I think she is charming and beautiful and I am proud she’s an American. Today I want to fuck Jessie Diggins.

Happy Valentine’s Day guys. I hope your day is good. I am posting Kelly Brook today cause she made it easy by releasing some lingerie photoshoot that I assume was for Valentine’s Day. It could be a coincidence of course. Just seems unlikely. Anyway, she made my choice easy cause, you know, I like British Girls. If I were to have my choice of Valentine it would be a British Girl. Anyway, I usually would tell you guys not to worry too much about today because I know it stresses people out but I’ll remind you love comes in all forms and it isn’t jsut romantic. There is love in your life if you look close enough. Heartbreak can bubble to the top if you let it but rather than focus on that, focus on those who do love you. You will know who they are, they show it in their actions even if they don’t in their words. Appreciate it. Say thank you. Know that it is a wonderful thing to have and you are luckier than you realized. Then you know, look at these pictures of Kelly Brook. She’s pretty. That’ll give you a warm feeling, too, right? Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

Well guys, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue came out and that means it’s time to post Kate Upton. More importantly, today is my friend Kat’s birthday. You can message her at @she-goes-to-eleven but be warned, her blog is full of girls that qualify as her type. And her type is naked. So you know, be careful at work. Anyway, today is Kat’s birthday and for people’s birthdays I like to mention it and usually I want to make a connection as to who I am posting. Luckily with Kat it is easy because the connection was going to be that she was intensely attracted to whoever I posted. It basically didn’t matter, the girl loves girls. Anyway, now only is she intensely attracted to Kate Upton, they both are named Katherine, and even more of a coincidence, both live on the planet Earth. So it was really easy this time. Kate, by the way, looks fantastic. And has just looked great lately. It’s really nice to see but man she nailed the Swimsuit Issue. I am glad she is back. Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

I am running into problems. There are almost too many Olympics. There are so many people I wanted to post but only so much time. I mean, I feel like maybe people who have reached the Olympics probably aren’t checking this blog hoping I post them (though if you are, let me know I guess) but it still hurts my soul to not like… give recognition. Anyway, today was hard and I was going back and forth but the thing is I woke up to pictures of Silje Norendal being sent to me and her event was in the early hours of the morning and well… I think she is the most beautiful person at the Olympics. She is just gorgeous. It’s why she’s one of the athletes showing up here before that you’ll find plenty of older posts about as well. I won’t spoil the event if you haven’t seen yet and want to but you know, I will say it’s a shame that wind played such a factor. Canceling the qualifiers, shortening the number of runs. Not for Silje’s sake but in general, because everyone there, this is one of the biggest moments of their career. I feel they were cheated some by not getting the full chance to show what they can do (and I was cheated cause slopestyle is probably my favorite event and we got a shortened run from the men and women). Silje is beautiful and in some ways represents to me how far we have come with women’s athletics. There were a lot of nasty stereotypes about female athletes when I was a kid and she defies basically all of them. Then as a young adult there were other really dismissive stereotypes about attractive athletes (largely that they were garbage and were only allowed in to the top level to help ratings) and she defies those. And this doesn’t really make her a trailblazer, those women who dealt with all those comments were the trailblazers. Silje is just the norm now she is beautiful and talented and no one questions either of those things based on the other thing. And that’s really nice. Today I want to fuck Silje Norendal.

I was saddened heading into this Olympics by some early retirements of athletes I liked last time out. Three I posted even. But, you know who is back? Kaetlyn Osmond. And thank god because the world is richer for getting to see her. Four years ago (or technically 3 years ago, 11 months, and 17 days ago) when I posted Kaetlyn I was taken by her beauty and I said figure skaters dress like fairy princesses. I realized rereading that today that perhaps people might think that’s an insult. I am here to set you straight, there is nothing insulting about looking like a fairy princess. We should all be so god damned lucky. Look, the simple truth is that I have a love hate relationship with figure skating. I love the beauty and athleticism, I tend to hate the judging. Which yes, has gotten better and technically they no longer score you on how much of a fairy princess you look like and if you have fairy princess blood in your family or not but… well, I still think it’s their. But why I hate how a girl looking coming into play in if she gets a medal or lot I don’t hold it against the costumes. Which are frankly amazing. I love the chance for personal expression that most sports don’t allow. Would I like to see what happened if LeBron James designed his own uniform and it was different every few days? Fuck yeah I would! But it would never happen. It happens here and I can’t hold it against the pretty, sparkly costumes that they might influence a judge. And that personal expression is part of what I like about Kaetlyn and why I am actually looking forward to watching figure skating this year. She was accused last time of being “too adult” which is still beyond stupid. She was an adult, deal with it. Also, you know, I know Tinkerbell is a huge property for Disney but I don’t think it’s because it’s something the parents are buying for after they put the kids to bed. Anyway, she is sexy, so I think that is what people are sensing. There is a bit of that in the costumes (I loved her gloves. Why? I dunno, I just really dug them). I mean, they’re very much not sexual costumes but she herself is just kind of sexy, and her personality comes through. And man I like her a lot guys. She is one of those special ones who is just gorgeous. So I am posting her even though it’s just team skate so far and her individual stuff won’t be until the end of the week, I am glad for the excuse to post her. Today I want to fuck Kaetlyn Osmond.

In looking for pictures, I have discovered that Hilary Knight has abs that could kill a man. How? I don’t really know, I have never had lethal abs so I am not entirely clear on the logistics but they are very impressive so I am confident they could get the job done. I guess if they couldn’t she has a silver medal also, you could probably beat a man to death with that. I mean, she definitely could, she’s an Olympic athlete. She’s an impressive physical specimen, I assume most Olympians could kill a man if they wanted to since you guys are so obsessed with this for some reason but they wouldn’t. Because that’s counter to the Olympic spirit. I am not sure why you guys are so focused on this weird digression, the Olympics are about togetherness. So yes, while Hilary Knight could murder a man in numerous ways, I mean, she wears razor sharp skates, carries a big stick and has arms like pythons, it would be easy, but she wouldn’t. Because she represents something bigger, unity through sport, through human achievement and something universal about all of us. It’s a wonderful, magical thing if you let it be and let go of your morbid obsessions. Look, the magic of the Olympics is it is one of the few experiences of unbridled optimism in a world where lazy cynicism often rules the day. It’s a celebration of the human spirit and the joy in it is seeing people who have worked hard achieve their dreams. The greatest moments are seeing someone win a medal, or watching an entire small country go nuts because it won it’s first medal ever, or seeing someone who is just so thrilled to be there they can’t keep the joy off of their face. The US Women play their first game tomorrow but I was up at 3 AM not sleeping and watching Japan and Sweden play and I thought about Hilary Knight and how I almost posted her last Olympics but didn’t get around to it because there is so much going on during the Olympics. She is gorgeous and talented and you know what, the NHL may have abandoned the Olympics like a bunch of dicks but there will still be great hockey to watch thanks to the women. Today I want to fuck Hilary Knight.