So on top of everything that is going on, New York Fashion Week has started so that will be a whole thing to compete with my Olympics obsession. Doutzen Kroes has shown up at a bunch of things and all over New York and thus far I think she has looked great. So I am posting her. I always feel like models have a really unfair advantage at events. They don’t show up as often but their entire job is to look good in clothing and make the clothing look good, so… you know, that tends to happen. She has looked good. Today I want to fuck Doutzen Kroes.

Guys, there was so much competition today! First of all, there is snow in Korea and I am so excited for that. I stayed up until 2 AM to watch the first events but that won’t get posted here because it was Men’s Alpine Skiiing and Curling. And well, none of the men caught my eye and then I went to bed because while I realize it’s a capital offense if you are in Canada, I am in the US so I can freely say I wasn’t willing to stay up any later just to watch curling. So Olympics posts are coming, just not today. Then I get up and there are like 12 new great photoshoots? And people showing up at events and looking amazing? This was a hard decision but I am posting Melissa Benoist cause she looked sexy for Coveteur and has been in a ton of great shoots recently, which I assume is related to Waco which… hey, it’s weird. I remember Waco and the world being fascinated with it at the time and it bothered me as a kid because it felt slimy then (people seemed more titillated than concerned) and now as an adult it’s strange to see the news events of my childhood mined for drama. Not that it’s wrong to do so it just feels… strange. So maybe it will be awesome? Who knows. I am sure it will be a big hit. There is a joke there about it having a cult following but I’ll avoid that. In part because it’s hacky but also because I am never sure if having a cult following is a good thing. Pretty much that means most people don’t like you. I guess having a cult following is good if you’re a cult leader but otherwise it seems like a negative to me. Anyway, Melissa Benoist sure is pretty.  She always looks good but it’s nice to get a reminder. Today I want to fuck Melissa Benoist.

Miranda Kerr is pregnant (No, not in these pictures. Sorry, I know I often do a where’s Waldo where I very cleverly insert one pregnant picture so you can spend hours looking but to my knowledge she is not pregnant in these. I don’t know for certain, there is no test. I guess you could ask her if she was pregnant yet in any of these but to my knowledge she is not. That’s a fun game, see if you can get blocked on social media by asking weirdly intrusive pregnancy questions about pictures) and she was on Jimmy Kimmel last night and I thought she looked great. Unfortunately all the pictures are just kind of paparazzi shots and I don’t dig on those much so here is um… Miranda Kerr Classic we’ll call it. Pictures from as long as like 8 months ago, before she was pregnant. Anyway, she looked good then, she looks good now, today I want to fuck Miranda Kerr.

Here is Saoirse Ronan because of Awards stuff. She was at an awards show and a pre-Oscars thing and she looked good at both. Really two nice dresses which is nice to see cause she can have some pretty big misses on the red carpet. Which I think is part of her charm really. There are lots of celebrities who appeal to that “just like us” thing and it’s always bullshit because they aren’t. But there is a bit of awkwardness to Saoirse when she’s not acting that I think people relate to. Or maybe not, I could just be talking out my ass. I am still working my way through the major nominees this year but she still is in my favorite movie so far this year. And again, she looked good. Today I want to fuck Saoirse Ronan.

So the Super Bowl was yesterday and that means obviously I am posting Danielle Harris? Why obviously? Well, actually there’s no connection but I was tempted to imply one without explaining for an entire post and see if anyone came up with some crazy 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon reason (Danielle Harris was in Hatchet II with Kane Hodder who worked with Tom Savini in The Return of El Topo Chico who did the special effect for Friday the 13th staring Kevin Bacon who was in a Super Bowl commercial for Visa once upon a time. Obvious connection, see?) No, really the world keeps putting her in front of my face. Like, my streaming box had an add for one of it’s channels that I could watch some action movie that you could just tell from the box was hot garbage but I was like, “Wow, that girl on the cover is hot”. So I looked closer and it was Danielle Harris. I didn’t watch the movie because the first name on it was Kevin Sorbo and I feel like that confirms my hot garbage assessment. Maybe that’s not fair but… no, it’s totally fair. Then she was on the thumbnail for the video for Joe Dante’s Trailers from Hell channel. Then there was a picture that lead to a thing she wrote and a whole website for a project about destigmatizing mental illness and suicide and that part isn’t so sexy but it was important and moving. On top of that, this week I discovered the wonderful @horror-hotties blog which seems like a blog I should have made except I didn’t because I am painfully lazy. Posting more than once a day? Good lord, that’s too much effort. But that blog does and they do the mental gymnastics to connect people to horror. Is there a Danielle Harris sized hole in their blog? Yes but it’s only a couple of months old so give them time. Besides, not everyone was 10 years old when Jamie Llyod’s star turn hit shelves of the local video store. Today I want to fuck Danielle Harris.

So here is Madelaine Petsch because she’s hot. Which, I would point out is the third day in a row that I have posted someone with the reasoning that they are hot. What can I say, I am on a creative hot streak. I mean, some stuff happened this weekend event wise and stuff but it’s pretty slow and I am not opposed to a stretch where I just post whatever pretty girl comes to mind as opposed to whatever pretty girl shows up at a thinly veiled attempt to advertise something. The Super Bowl sorta tried this year but didn’t try as hard as it did in past years. I guess it’s harder to get celebrities to show up when it’s below zero. I don’t blame them because who cares, I assume like me everyone wishes both teams could lose. Anyway, Madelaine Petsch is pretty and her hair is red. These are facts. Today I want to fuck Madelaine Petsch.

Hey guys, happy Saturday. Here is Scarlett Johansson for no particular reason besides the fact that she is really hot. I know that’s a shock to a lot of people but that’s why you come here, for the insightful commentary. Now that I brought it up you’re going to see it everyone, everyone finally realizing that Scarlett Johansson is hot. You’re welcome world. Also the sky is blue. Also, pedants and people who think they are smart will tell you that the sky is all colors and blue is just the easiest to see on the visible spectrum with light scattering everywhere so it just appears blue. Also, some people will then reblog that annoying tubmlr post. All of these people sound like assholes you don’t need in your life. Ignore them, you have me, I’ll set you straight. The sky is blue, Scarlett Johansson is hot, and extended warranties are a scam. You’re welcome. So, as I was saying, she’s here because she’s hot. I literally have not seen her in anything recently, she just popped into my head and it turns out that’s more than enough reason to post her. Today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

Here is Barbara Palvin because she was in some GQ photoshoot that apparently people think is kind of boring. I haven’t seen a lot of it but I found something to like in it, that thing being Barbara Palvin. I don’t have a lot more to say because I am tired and a little busy but uh… here’s Barbara Palvin. Enjoy. Today I want to fuck Barbara Palvin.

Hey guys, here is Holly Willoughby because today is my dear friend Katherine’s birthday, which is a pretty important day because she is important to me. You might not know why I would post Holly Willoughby for my friends birthday but it’s because I always think of my friend Katherine when I think of Holly Willoughby. They are both form England and blonde, which makes them almost exactly the same person anyway as I assume, their main hobbies involve drinking tea and talking about naval power. But on top of that I would not even know who Holly Willoughby was if not for Katherine, so you guys should all be a little thankful for her. Anyway, you will notice, or at least you will now that I explicitly explained it, that Holly is wearing polka dots in all the pictures and that’s because my friend not only likes Holly, she loves polka dots. So here they are, Holly is even eating something that is clearly not a cake but hey, close enough that we can pretend it’s a birthday cake. This is where I would tell you guys to wish Katherine a happy birthday but she is one of the few people who knows this blog exists but is not on tumblr. So according to recently learned stereotypes I believe you are just supposed to shout in the direction of the local Greggs Happy Birthday and she’ll hear you? I am terrible at understanding whatever bigotries you Brits have. Anyway, Holly Willoughby is beautiful and does look good in polka dots and hey, I never mind an excuse to post her.  Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

Anna Kendrick happened to be at a thing for… Hilton or American Express or both? I have to be honest, as big of a fan as I am of hotels and credit cards (I assume everyone follows my @whereiwanttousemychargecardforanightssleeptoday blog) I couldn’t be bothered to get more details. But she was there and I really liked half her dress. Which again, sounds insulting and once again, I apologize but like.. the top part isn’t doing it for me. By that I mean the bow and the sleeves, get your head out of the gutters, this isn’t a topless request. The thing is, the other part I really, really like. Like really like. It’s just great. And I am grateful to see her. I must be because I just posted her the other day. That is rare but then I really like Anna Kendrick. So here she is. Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.