Here is Emilia Clarke because Emilia Clarke is so pretty.  It’s that simple really. She is almost always around at least in the background when Game of Thrones is currently airing.  Be it photoshoots or appearances or just reblogs on my dash.  My first thought is always about how pretty she is.  There have been some conversations with friends and such recently about who I like best on Game of Thrones (and who they do but that’s less important because let’s be honest, they either are just like me or wrong, so who cares).  For me the big debate is between Natalie Dormer and Emilia Clarke but honestly I think Emilia Clarke is the prettiest.  She’s just… I like her smile and her face.  So some new pictures of her emerged today and it was time for her to show up again.  Today I want to fuck Emilia Clarke.

Here is the gorgeous and talented Alicia Vikander.  She shows up on my dash a lot, largely because of @she-goes-to-eleven but also because she is pretty so people feel inclined to reblog pictures of her.  I haven’t posted her since the Oscars which feels wrong but at the same time it isn’t like I have seen anything new with her in it.  I do know she has been confirmed for the Tomb Raider reboot, which I am pretty excited about because it’s pretty well documented I love Lara Croft and I think she could do a very good job.  I mean, she must be at least part bad ass because I am going to take a huge leap in logic and say since she is Scandinavian her last name somehow means her ancestors were Vikings.  And like… the Vikings weren’t entirely like their press but I am going to go with Alicia Vikander raiding and pillaging and being a badass.  It’s an ok image.  Certainly I just got @she-goes-to-eleven on my side.  Anyway, here is Alicia Vikander because today I want to fuck Alicia Vikander.

So here is Ariel Winter, today’s pick.  You guys have no idea how annoyed I am with myself.  I have never missed a day before but I technically missed yesterday.  I made a post.  I picked the pictures, i wrote the post, I hit the button.  See, I always save them as drafts, double check it to make sure nothing is too screwy (tumblr does strange things with the pictures sometimes) and then hit the actual post button.  Apparently I missed that step yesterday and then never noticed.  I am the type of person this will bother forever.  Sure the post is there now but it’s wrong.  There will forever be a gap on May 29th.  I am achieving my goal, of actually documenting day by day still but I will be bothered.  Just like I am by that one stupid fucking record I own that sticks out a little more than the others.  It just isn’t right!  Anyway, I am posting Ariel Winter today because it has already gotten late and I though she looked really good in her prom dress and I love the red hair on her.  And that’s it, I am not risking screwing this up.  Here is another fact about me, I will recheck my blog 30 times before bed tonight to make sure this actually posts.  Today I want to fuck Ariel Winter.

I wrote this post and thought I posted it yesterday but it turned out I didn’t hit post.  Whoops.  Here it is a day late.

Celebrities birthdays are weird.  I am not sure how I’d feel about it if I were one.  I mean, I guess it would be nice to have so many people sort of fighting over the chance to celebrate your birthday?  The real secret is as an adult your birthday doesn’t matter very much and no one is going to make a big deal out of it unless you do first.  Like, the only people who get the giant parties are the people who plan it themselves or drop hints for 2 months leading up, which to me always seems like it maybe takes a little something away from the experience.  Like hey, you guys made a big deal about me after I demanded you do so.  Thank you!  So I guess it’s nice that celebrities don’t have that but I am not sure I would want a branded birthday party.  Like the name of a night club on my cake and an entry way with some other company’s logo.  I also assume tons of strangers I don’t know at my party.  I really can’t imagine my ideal birthday being with a bunch of I don’t know and I don’t care about.  On the other hand, that’s a nice looking cake.  Emily Ratajkowski had a birthday party this weekend, though her birthday appears to be more than a week away.  That does feel normal, as an adult your birthday has to focus around free weekend, not actual dates.  It just had me thinking about all of that and also she looked pretty.  I don’t need a big push to want to post her so here she is because today I want to fuck Emily Ratajkowski.

So two things surfaced today that had me thinking about the artificiality of photoshoots.  And I am not exactly breaking new ground here by pointing out the images they sell us are not reality.  And this isn’t about unrealistic expectations and stuff.  I mean, certainly that is a valid discussion to have but then so is the fact that no one is ever presenting you anything completely genuine.  Art, music, people… it’s all about getting a certain point of view across and if it seems manipulative or not is largely based on how you feel about that manipulation.  I am not going down that path though, that way lies nothing but Philosophy 101 and a whole lot of bullshit about there being no truth and reality is a lie which is both not helpful and intellectually lazy.  No, see today I saw pictures of Rosie Jones naked in a garden and she’s standing on the balls of her feet the entire time with her back arched.  And of course she’s topless, one day doctors will find a cure for her crippling allergy to tops.  One day!  But I wasn’t even looking at her breasts, and there is a conversation to be had about maybe desensitization seeps in when you see someone naked more than dressed but most of it was just that I was impressed that she was balancing like that and yet looked natural.  She just looked like she was having fun in a garden.  Except she was standing in a way no human being ever would and really I don’t know how she held the post.  I tried, I can’t, I start swaying and have to put my hands out to balance myself. Then I get to this picture of Kate Upton working out and that’s pretty common these days, there is this whole thing about her training and how shes’ getting into better shape and well… it’s a whole thing.  People love to talk about her level of fitness.  But she’s wearing like a tweed skirt and a bra and I guess that’s supposed to be sexy. Except my only thought was, “That bra is not supportive enough to work out in.  She’s going to hurt herself”.  So I get the picture is supposed to be sexy but my only thought is that really someone should get her appropriate workout attires.  That skirt is going to tear at some point and that’s just a waste.  And her boobs, well that’s going to be a disaster.  Someone help her.  And then I realized that is my problem with some of this artificiality.  I am not opposed to the artifice (and uh, ping @thunderstormofoblivion it turns out I am just an attending lord), I know it’s there, I just would like, at least for a moment, to be able to pretend it isn’t.  And I couldn’t.  Instead I just sat around thinking about poor Kate Upton getting hurt.  Then I looked for pictures that allowed me to embrace the illusion and here we are.  Today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

I almost posted Danielle Panabaker a few times in the past.  Usually in relation to some horror movie because she’s been in a few but I first saw her in an under rated superhero movie Sky High years ago. So I guess it’s appropriate that it’s the Flash that has finally gotten her here.  In the past I tried and really wiffed at finding decent pictures for some reason.  That’s still true despite the popularity of the show.  The show is just good enough that I pushed through the difficulty.  Barry Allen is quite possibly my favorite Silver Age DC Super Hero.  He was always just so likable, this normal guy who didn’t let being a hero change him, he just remained normal and gave me Flash Facts and saved the day and I remember crying when he died and I was 7 years old.  It was sad but it was also a wonderful lesson in heroism as with his dying words he reminded us that as long as there is life there is hope.  He wasn’t giving up against insurmountable odds.  And as I type that I guess we can say Barry Allen is why I am finally posting Danielle Panabaker because I too, didn’t give up in the face of difficulty, I pressed on and kept looking for pictures.  It might not be quite the same but… well, thanks Flash.  The show is really good, too.  I am so relieved, I avoided it for so long because I didn’t want to be disappointed by another DC property ruined with grimdark attempts to totally awesome up something that was already awesome.  They didn’t do that like I was worried they would.  So thanks for that Flash, you saved my binge watching too.  And I am enjoying Danielle Panabaker, even if the fact that I know what that name means in the comics makes me fear for her future.  I’ll enjoy the ride for now because she’s pretty and charming and let’s be honest, adorable and pretty crush worthy in the show.  So today I want to fuck Danielle Panabaker.

So Google does this creepy but amazingly accurate thing on my phone where randomly it will just be like, “Hey, you should read this news article”.  And I am always torn by conflicting emotions.  Cause on one hand it’s like, “Hey, you’re right, I do want to read that,” and, “Back off creep”. I got one of those late last night about Holly Willoughby reviewing sex toys and I will be honest, I felt like Google was judging me a little.  It was about how some people felt the whole thing was a bit too dirty for morning television, which struck me as odd because no matter what I have seen Holly Willoughby do on screen, it has always somehow come across as wholesome. So I went and watched the clip and didn’t get the controversy until I remembered that oh yeah, it’s morning television and morning television is watched by old people.  So the entire presence of sex toys and talking about them even existing was no doubt the controversy.  At least I assume.  I am not an expert on England, just on being attracted to English women.  But I assume like here in the states Morning “news” programs are for old people and no one else and given what I know about England I assume everyone was drinking tea and eating crumpets and monocles were popping out left and right during the segment along with some gasps of “Dear Heavens!”  Also something about Fish and Chips and calling elevators lifts.  Anyway, that happened last night then this morning someone posted a lot of pictures of Holly Willoughby on said show, This Morning, and it was like oh yeah, man she’s pretty.  And Google knows I think so.  And Google, I still feel like you are judging me.  I could hear the unspoken, “perv” at the end of the, “You might be interested in this”.  Whatever.  I am mostly fine with that.  Because hey, any excuse to see Holly Willoughby I guess.  Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

So I was watching an episode of The Monkees last night and it revolved around the band meeting a hot girl at the laundry mat and all falling in love with her.  I saw her and was like, oh, she’s pretty.  Then she stood up and I was like, wow, she’s… we’ll say I will say she looked pretty.  Then I was like, hey, she looks familiar.  So I looked it up and it was non other than Julie Newmar.  Now, I remember thinking Catwoman was pretty as a kid watching old episodes of Batman but I didn’t remember Catwoman looking quite like that. Maybe tight white is a better look than sparkly black?  Who knew.  I of course immediately messaged my friend @lunoboom to let her know because she’s into old ladies.  And I had to tell someone.  I guess I should have kept watching Batman?  I just kind of thought it was lame even as a kid.  I knew it was too silly to be the Batman I wanted.  Anyway, it isn’t like this is news to most people but it turns out Julie Newmar was smoking hot.  So today I want to fuck Julie Newmar.

Here is Anne Hathaway because she was at the premier of the ALice Through the Looking Glass movie, which is a movie I know next to nothing about but I certainly have made assumptions about.  That might be unfair but I assume it’s one of the new versions of classic stories where they totally awesome it up.  I tend to massively dislike those things, trying to be cool is a sure way to be painfully uncool.  I could be wrong.  I have seen next to nothing about it, the only reason I know it exists is occasionally celebrities show up at events surrounding it.  Maybe it will be good.  That would be nice.  Anne Hathaway looked great though.  So she’s here because I quite like her.  Today I want to fuck Anne Hathaway.

I am going to go ahead and say Ariana Grande won the Billboard Music Awards last night because I thought she looked really pretty.  Also, almost no competition.  Not a ton of people there from what i have seen.  I will admit I haven’t researched it.  I didn’t watch it.  Music awards shows are by and large the worst.  That’s a lot of negativity I realize but i haven’t really slept well in over a week so you’ll have to forgive me.  I liked her dress, it was a good color, and interesting design.  So she’s here.  Today I want to fuck Ariana Grande.