Tag: Actress

So after a week of pretty much posting people who were somewhat unique to this blog I am posting Jennifer Lawrence.  Yeah, I am still watching horror movies constantly and no I did not watch Last House on the Left.  I just had a dream about her.  And no, not one of those dreams.  I don’t get those dreams often enough.  No I dreamed we both worked at a call center as customer service agents.  The closest it got to sexual was she kept straightening her hose and it meant I looked at her legs some.  But mainly she was just fun to work with and I asked her questions that my friends wanted to know about her.  But enough about that because other people’s dreams are boring unless they are sex dreams.  A fair number of photoshoots of Jen have shown up lately and I think anyone can guess it’s only the tip of the iceberg, as Catching Fire approaches we are going to get inundated with new stuff.  I am ok with that.  I like her.  Today I want to fuck Jennifer Lawrence.

So I watched American Mary.  For most of you this will mean absolutely nothing.  But it was pretty hyped when it first came out, at least in the horror community.  I have wanted to see it for a while but… well, you know how these things go.  It didn’t blow me away.  It was interesting.  It was gross.  But it was not amazing.  Still, it had it’s bright spots, those being I got to see Katharine Isabelle, who is just the best.  She was of course very good in it and was of course very pretty in it.  So… today I want to fuck Katharine Isabelle.

I am rewatching The Innkeepers at the moment for a writing thing I am doing.  It is a very enjoyable movie if you like super slow burns.  At the center of it is Sara Paxton, who research tells me has been acting forever but I have only seen her in a handful of things, probably not surprisingly mainly horror movies.  She’s pretty of course but why I am really drawn to her is the interesting sense of vulnerability mixed with an everywoman quality she has in the film.  I am really charmed by her, I almost forgot how likeable she managed to be on screen.  That’s it really, Halloween is just around the corner, I am watching a lot of horror movies and she is quite good in a good horror movie.  So today I want to fuck Sara Paxton.

I caught up on the premier of American Horror Story in the early hours of the morning and one of my first take aways was, “Wow, Emma Roberts looks good”. There have been times she has looked good before, I am not saying it like it is a huge surprise but it’s been a really long time since I noticed.  Honestly it is a little strange to find her attractive.  Not because she isn’t pretty but the first time you find out she is Julia Robert’s niece you nod and it totally makes sense because they look a lot a like.  Yes I never found Julia Roberts attractive.  I guess she’s just enough different that she does something for me?  It’s odd, you can see the resemblance but I find her more attractive (I almost made a joke about her being a renown pugilist being attractive but that’s not cool.  Don’t joke about that). Anyway, she looked good, she looks good, today I want to fuck Emma Roberts.

I don’t want to blow anyone’s mind here but Nina Dobrev is really pretty.  Like really, really pretty.  I know, you never noticed before and now you’re blown away.  It’s why I’m here.  This blog is basically a public service.  Anyway, she’s really pretty and I almost posted her last week because she’s really pretty.  Just, you know, Kristen Bell was on TV, too and next thing you know… well, Nina Dobrev is really pretty though. And so here she is.  Today I want to fuck Nina Dobrev.

I have mentioned before my attraction to Leighton Meester used to be white hot.  There were maybe 1 or 2 people on the planet I liked more.  I mean, Kristen Bell was still number one but that was about it.  Then, as these things tend to do that passed and… look, she is still gorgeous and when I see her I still think she is gorgeous.  Like today, I saw her and it was like oh yeah, Leighton Meester.  Wow.  But you know how like… if you have a crush in real life you think about that person all the time?  Even if they aren’t around and you don’t see them?  Then you know when the crush is over because you don’t think of them.  At all.  If they show up you might remember why you were so into them but out of sight out of mind.  It’s like that with Leighton.  So I had dibs for a long time, I know because I said and no one refuted it.  But I don’t think Dibs should work on a first come first served basis, that is just douchey.  It’s like calling shot gun when you’re the shortest one in the group.  You don’t need it, you’re just being an asshole making the 6’8" guy sit in the backseat.  So with Dibs it should kind of go to whoever feels the most deeply.  I guess that makes this a goodbye but I am leaving Leighton in good hands, my friend Izzy definitely has dibs.  Megadibs actually, to use the correct legal term.  I am granting her Megadibs.  Still, I am not saying Leighton won’t show up again, I just realize it’s a fling now, a temporary thing.  It will be for that one moment, like today.  Today is one of those moments.  Today I want to fuck Leighton Meester.

I knew Chloe Bennet would appear here because she is pretty and she is on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  It’s just that simple, I’m a nerd.  Obviously I am going to watch it.  I will basically save my opinions on the show but just say it isn’t blowing me away or anything.  Still, she is very pretty, sometimes that’s just enough.  So today I want to fuck Chloe Bennet.

So somewhere named Scarlett Johansson the sexiest woman alive.  Seems like a perfectly fine choice to me but I have seen a bit of grumbling on the internet.  I get it, I get it.  Everyone thinks it should have been me.  Look, I’ve been getting the shaft for 34 years, don’t worry about me, I’m used to it.  One day someone will name me the Sexiest Woman Alive.  One day.  But I have a secret for you, it’s all bullshit.  There is like no vetting process.  No one is counting votes anywhere and very little science is involved.  This is going to sound cynical but I think it might all just be a way to sell magazines.  I know, I know.  I’m sorry.  Just sometimes I think all businesses care about is making money as opposed to the artistic integrity of the Sexiest Woman Alive award.  Still, I am not upset about the results.  I love Scarlett Johansson.  And the pictures were lovely.  It’s always nice to get great new pictures of her.  And she’s pretty sexy.  When I finally get my win we’ll talk about how great it is while our perfect hair glistens in the Caribbean sun.  Or something.  Look, the point is today I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.

So I watched this movie called +1.  I almost didn’t watch it because it was called +1 and that kind of annoyed me.  Did I really want to see something about comment boards?  Well, it turned out to be about Doppelgangers, or maybe not really because I am not sure they were evil twins or anything, just duplicates.  Either way soon into the movie there was a girl and I was like, “Wow, who is that, she’s really hot”.  She turned out to be one of the core characters and indeed was hot.  Then she got naked.  It really made me enjoy the movie more because she is one of those people who looked even better naked.  That is rarer than you might realize.  (If you want proof check her tag.  Her being naked seems to be the only reason she is on tumblr, it’s all videos and caps of that scene)  Anyway, she is apparently a Soap star but I had never seen her or heard of her before.  She was fine in the movie, I have no complaints about her acting but really she’s here because she’s hot.  Like really hot.  So today I want to fuck Natalie Hall.

So Kristen Bell was on Parks and Rec last night/tonight.  I mean, technically yesterday but you get it, I just watched it.  I love the show and I love her so it’s two great things together, like peanut butter and chocolate.  Also she makes my mouth water so another reason she’s like a peanut butter cup I guess.  Except we all know Kristen Bell is a Marshmallow.  They make marshmallow cups but those aren’t as good.  OOoo, you know what I do like though, fluffer nutter sandwiches.  I mean, I haven’t had one in like 20 years but they were great kid comfort food.  So let’s say Kristen Bell is like a fluffer nutter sandwich… she’s creamy and delicious and she is… loaded with carbs?  I don’t know, I am not great at this.  The point is she is my favorite thing ever, even better than childhood memories.  That’s pretty great.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.