Tag: Actress

AnnaSophia Robb seems pleasant and is a fine actress from what i have seen of her work.  I don’t watch the Carrie Diaries but i have seen movies.  Movies with her I mean, if that wasn’t clear.  Last night I was talking to someone about her and if one would have sex with her or not (AnnaSophia Robb, not my friend).  I declared that I would.  Which is why she is here now because sometimes that’s all it takes to go down the rabbit hole.  The truth is at some point this summer it came to my attention that AnnaSophia Robb has a very nice area of her body.  Experts refer to this area as the butt.  It really does seem pretty nice.  I don’t want to diminish anyone to just a body part and she is of course more than that but I’d be lying if I pretended it isn’t why she’s here.  I like it.  So today I want to fuck AnnaSophia Robb.

Some days I just have someone stuck in my mind and I can’t stop thinking about them.  Like they won’t budge loose.  Confusingly, I often have no reason I can think of for them to be there.  Nothing against Gillian Jacobs but I haven’t seen her lately.  Community hasn’t started back up.  I am on record saying I like Alison Brie more.  So why did Gillian Jacobs pop into my head at some point yesterday and not go away?  I have no idea but I keep thinking about her.  And she is pretty.  And talented.  And very compelling when I hear her talk.  So I am not complaining.  I just feel like I should understand.  But I don’t   All I know is today I want to fuck Gillian Jacobs.

Here is once upon a time British Sex Symbol Diana Dors.  I posted her once before and it contained one of the greatest gif sets ever.  Which is why I linked it because it was a long time ago and if you missed it go look because it is one of the greatest gif sets ever.  Maybe I am over selling it but she is someone who possesses a level of sensuality in her movements that most people would kill for.  As for why she’s here again… she’s been all over my dash this week.  I have like zero clue why, it isn’t like a new movie of hers just came out.  She’s been dead for 30 years.  But I appreciate it because she’s hot, blonde, and British and aparently those are my weaknesses.  So she’s here.  Also go look at those gifs.  Today I want to fuck Diana Dors.

Saturday Night Live is back and that always has me excited because I have always been a big fan of SNL.  Which is a little silly because it has always been painfully inconsistent but it is one of those things, getting to stay up and watch it was once upon a time a big deal right of passage.  We would brag about having seen episodes when I was in Junior High, who was at a slumber party and got to watch.  It was a big deal.  I think that’s why I still find myself excited to watch because it still feels like this special thing.  Very crafty, Lorne Michaels.  Anyway, Tina Fey is brilliantly funny and was the first ever person on SNL who I thought was smoking hot.  It’s become more common among the cast members now to not only be funny but be attractive.  For me she was the first (Sorry Julia Louis Dreyfus fans, I was like 5 when she was on the show).  So Tina Fey hosted last night, she is very pretty and she is very funny and we’re probably in for a rough season since so much of the cast turned over but it doesn’t matter because I love the show and I love getting to see Tina Fey.  If there is a God she’ll host something with Amy Poehler again soon and I won’t have to be too Fey deprived.  Today I want to fuck Tina Fey.

I have not posted this girl in almost a year.  Which is a little strange.  I mean, there was a quick moment where i was really into her and then that went away and that’s to be expected of a young star who does stuff for kids.  I had no real connection and I guess I assumed that it would pass  It never fully did though, I was always attracted to her.  I always found her adorable.  So I am a little surprised she hasn’t popped up at any point.  I just kind of assumed she would.  I guess she was on my mind but never ranked #1?  That just seems odd.  Well, she’s here now and today I want to fuck Ariana Grande.

You may not know this about me but if you’ve been following me a long time you might know, I think Mary Elizabeth Winstead is one of the most beautiful people on the planet.  It is just one of those things where I remember the first time I saw her and it was a, “Who is that girl?” moment.  I was blown away.  As a result I have seen Final Destination 3 way more than anyone should have.  Of course, it also turned out she’s a damn fine actress as well.  Unfortunately, she is not a big deal actress so new pictures of her don’t pop up that often.  I even subscribe to the RSS feed of one of those fan sties that litter Google searches and it only has news about her once a month or so.  It is a shame because I feel like the world is missing out, she’s so good, more people should see Smashed.  More people should see her in things, she should be in bigger things.  But on the other hand we get so possessive of our little crushes that I kind of like that most people don’t know her.  Well, except Scott Pilgrim fans.  They love her.  I can’t blame them.  That’s where all the notes for this will come from.  Anyway, today I want to fuck Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

I know very little about Alexandra Daddario. I know her name.  I know she has amazing eyes.  And I know I have seen her in what feels like a million horror movies and every time I go, “Wow, who is that girl?  She’s gorgeous and those eyes…"  And then an IMDB trip later I am like, "Oh, ok, she sounds familiar”.  And she’s in some movies kind of about Greek Mythology which means there are people screaming at their monitor right now wondering how I could have no idea who she is.  But I basically have no idea who she is.  And it was only 3 horror movies I have seen her in she just stands out so much it’s always like, she’s that girl.  I really remember her. The movies blend together because none of them were very good.  But she is very pretty.  I mean, look at those eyes, right?  So today I want to fuck Alexandra Daddario

So… Emmy’s last night.  We all know I like to declare who won in my mind because… I am an ego maniac and i have to make an award show designed to stroke the egos of others all about stroking mine.  So I get to declare who won.  I declare the winner to be the lovely Aubrey Plaza.  Aubrey Plaza is great.  She is hilarious.  She is hot.  She was not nominated because… you can only nominate so many people?  I don’t know she wasn’t but she is awesome.  Today I want to fuck Aubrey Plaza.

So Amber Heard was photographed on the set of some movie I assume dressed for a funeral.  I could be wrong but it looked that way to me.  She looked pretty hot.  I don’t have a funeral fetish but it did make me think of the benefits of someone really hot showing up at my funeral (I am not dying).  I want Amber Heard to show up at my funeral (I am not planning on dying soon, my choice of who could change one day, I’ll try to keep you guys in the mix).  She would show up looking amazing.  She would try to throw herself on the casket and cry out things like, “Best I ever had” and “No one else could ever satisfy me”.  I feel like if I am going out I could add some mystery and excitement to everyone’s lives.  People would talk about that for a long time.  Did you see that hot blonde?  She was inconsolable.  Who knew our dearly beloved, lost too soon, probably the best friend anyone could ever have was so amazing in bed.  Life changing even.  Now it was pointed out to me I could just sleep with Amber Heard to have this happen rather than having someone hire her or getting make a wish or something to contact her.  I appreciate the faith but if I could get Amber Heard to sleep with me I wouldn’t be writing this right now.  I would be sleeping with Amber Heard.  Given I am at work that would be both very hot and probably disastrous for my career, so it’s a blessing and a curse that I am not a walking, talking Amber-Heard-Seduction-Machine.  The funeral thing would be pretty cool though.  Anyway, my main point is today I want to fuck Amber Heard.

So…. like if I was the type of person to place a wager I would have bet that Zooey was going to show up today.  In retrospect I should have placed that bet because I control the outcome.  That said, there ended up being a surprising amount of competition as the last 24 hours produced a lot of pictures of a lot of girls I like.  We’ll say it was a “stiff” competition.  By that I mean I twisted my ankle and now it is incredibly stiff and where else did you think that possibly could have gone, perverts?  Anyway, New Girl came back last night, I adore the show.  It honestly probably wouldn’t have mattered how the actual episode was because I really like Zooey and her being on my screen often result on her being on… uh, my other screen.  Because I post her.  Look, she’s here because she’s adorable and sexy and pretty and I knew it was coming.  She’s awesome.  Today I want to fuck Zooey Deschanel.