Tag: Actress

The EMAs were last night, which are a thing that obviously exist but I didn’t know existed until I started running this blog.  I mean, I knew MTV Europe was a whole other creature because I guess there were like… rumors about it in the 90’s?  I don’t know a better way to describe it.  We weren’t all talking about it but pre-internet the other side of the Ocean was shrouded in mists of the unknown.  This probably sounds ludicrous but it was true.  You’d hear that some band was huge in Europe but it could just be horseshit or it could be true.  You knew that like, the musical landscape in the UK was radically different than that of the US in 1994.  It all could be made up though, there was just no way to know, just this one kid who went to Germany for a week and swore it was different (usually swore it was better because that made him sound more interesting and unique).  Anyway, now I am well aware they are a thing because we get all sorts of celebrities showing up at them and I post every year.  And this year I saw some early stuff and figured I’d post Charli XCX because let’s be honest, she dressed just for me on stage.  It turns out I was wrong.  I am posting Natalie Dormer because oh my god Natalie Dormer.  She looked so hot.  She always has this core sexiness to her, it’s just what she does.  Man though, last night?  She looked so good.  I don’t remember who I posted after the VMAs now but I am going to say that Natalie Dormer looked better at the EMAs than anyone did at the VMAs.  So I guess what I am saying is maybe that weird kid who went to Germany was right, European MTV is better.  Weird.  Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.

I am in a foul mood for some reason so here is Jessica Chastain because she is always reliable.  I realize “Ol’ Reliable” is perhaps not the highest praise you can give a woman but it feels accurate with her.  She can always be counted on to look good because she knows what she is doing.  She can always be counted on to be good in a movie because she is amazingly gifted.  That’s nice to have.  Like… to know that even going in even when the movie doesn’t work it will be worth watching for her performance.  You can’t really count on a lot of things in life so it’s powerful to have something you can rely on.  Even if that is Jessica Chastain being kind of fantastic.  So it might not be the highest compliment she’ll receive but it’s where I’m at today.  Today I want to fuck Jessica Chastain.

How about some Daisy Ridley today becuase why not.  It’s been a busy day for me thus far and so I haven’t had time to even really consider my poor blog.  But I did just see an ad for Murder on the Orient Express and while I am having a really hard time caring about it Daisy Ridley looked good in it.  She also looked really good a few days ago at the premier.  On top of that, I love Star Wars and hey, why not get warmed up for the inevitable Rey related posts about Daisy Ridley when the time comes.  You know, work on those muscles so to speak. So here she is because today I want to fuck Daisy Ridley.

I feel a little like I am a day behind on this even though this isn’t a news blog or anything, but Hayley Atwell was at an awards thing the other day and looked great and now I am posting her.  She’s looked fantastic a couple of times recently actually but the turth is she could purposefully look like garbage and if she showed up at something I’d still be likely to end up posting her because it would be a reminder that she exists and that she rules.  I mean, she looks good, that’s nice.  But the truth is she is such an amazing bundle of talent and charm that it is enough.  She is just so likable that how can you not love her?  I dunno.  Anyway, here she is because today I want to fuck Hayley Atwell.

Here is Kristen Bell because I have been catching up on the good place but also cause today is my day and I am going to make it all about me and most years that means I post Kristen Bell.  She is great and I just love having her on a great show again.  The Good Place is fantastic and her comedic timing is amazing and now that I think about it this show feels like it is basically for me.  I mean, it makes me laugh out loud and there was an episode this season that referenced Immanuel Kant, Alan Leroy Locke, and Michel Foucault.  And probably more I missed.  That’s kind of like if  you were designing a thing for me a big part of what it would be.  A funny show with Kristen Bell that makes a ton of literary and philosophical references.  I mean, I spend a lot of time contemplating the nature of good and evil and what it means to live a good life already if I am going to be honest.  Which the show might be telling me is a waste of my time to a degree but either way, the show is totally for me.  And I adore Kristen Bell.  How can you not?  If you don’t you’re just 100% wrong. Sorry.  Somethings are just true.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

Well thank god for Natalie Dormer.  I mean, America, you should be ashamed of yourselves.  Really America dropped the ball on the celebrity costume department this year and it took the Brits to come and save us.  Do you know how shameful that is?  They didn’t even start doing Halloween right until like 5 years ago.  For most of my life they were an utter disaster.  They often celebrated on the wrong day, everyone wore the same stupid mask, and somehow despite inventing the language they grossly mispronounced it as Guy Fawkes Day.  Like, I don’t even know how you fuck a thing up that badly.  And yet here we are.  I am posting Natalie Dormer and Holly Willoughby gets an honorary mention for a pretty fucking cool looking unicorn… thing.  I dunno, it felt weird posting it so Natalie Dormer wins out as a pirate because she looks awesome.  Natalie Dormer seems to use Halloween as an excuse to wear old timey stuff which, let’s be honest, is pretty brilliant on her part.  Besides the fact that it looks like a lot of fun, many TV shows and movies have pretty much proven it’s a look that she was made for.  So she’s here and this will probably be it for Halloween posts.  Unless it isn’t because somehow nothing has surfaced from Heidi Klum’s party, so maybe America has some hope yet. Though I guess they need help from a German Super Model to get there. Anyway, Natalie Dormer.  She looks fantastic and I really dig the pirate costume. Today I want to fuck Natalie Dormer.

Here is Veronica Lake dressed as a spooooooooooky witch for you guys cause Halloween is right around the corner.  Ok, maybe not that spooky, since it is from a romantic comedy but I am going to just guess most of my followers have never seen I Married a Witch so you don’t know that.  So trust me, it’s completely spooky.  It’s about an centuries old curse!  WooooooooO!  All of that is actually true but you know, tone is important.  She came up in conversation yesterday and honestly, the present day costumes sure are letting me down this year.  Luckily, we always have nostalgia to fall back on, the golden memories of yesteryear that we can twist to suit our desires so that the past always proves us right one way or another.  Speaking of nostalgia, Pigeon Foo replied to this ask yesterday and I enjoyed it because I love Halloween and I want to hear about people’s Halloweens.  I have already shared my favorite memories there but I can dig deep for another story.  During the end of my trick or treating days, I can’t remember what but we had entered the point where it was terribly uncool to care about anything, which I assume is still a thing that happens but was maybe the motto of my entire generation, caring is for losers, and I tried too hard with my costume.  Which wasn’t really all that hard, it was basically a grim reaper robe and scythe and then I painted my face and probably did a crummy job of it.  In general I lack artistic talent and while I can often imagine things and how I want them to look the translation from brain to pen really fucks things up and my picture ends up looking lamer than a stick figure.  So my face paint of a super scary skeleton face was probably terrible. But more importantly someone invited Josh Cox along and I fucking hated Josh Cox.  I think one of my friends liked him but I always thought he was a back full of dicks, which was convenient because his last name was Cox and I could be a vicious little shit and my only real revenge was to make fun of people until it caught on, and boy did I have a field day with the last name Cox back in Junior High.  I might secretly be the villain of this story actually.  Oh well.  Anyway, his grandfather had founded the country club in the neighborhood we were going to trick or treat in (houses around a country club often give good candy.  Like full sized candy bars.  It was insane).  We were so convinced that we were going get a lot of candy we didn’t bring bags or little plastic buckets, we brought pillow cases this time and everyone but me brought multiple masks so they could go back to the good houses more than once.  This is where the mocking lead by ol’ Josh Coxsucker (one of my many hyper clever nicknames I gave him in 6th grade) came in.  They all were just wearing t-shirts and jeans and a mask.  I had tried too hard.  He told me flat out no one would ever want to make out with me with all that face paint on.  Which, I’ll be honest, in retrospect feels like a real win for me.  I didn’t want to make out with any of the people we were trick or treating with.  Which I guess left the adults who were giving us candy.  I don’t remember wanting to make out with any of them and frankly if the only thing that was preventing them from making out with me was the face paint then I dodged a real bullet!  Sorry pedophiles, I have face paint on.  Anyway, often I have a point to these stories that ties everything back in and I guess I do here.  I guess my point is that Josh Cox was a dickhead and what’s the point of having a blog with thousands of followers if you can’t defame some kid from Junior High when you suddenly remember he existed for the first time in years.  Take that, Josh.  You suck.  Veronica Lake is awesome.  And if you are reading this please feel free to reblog with one of your favorite Halloween Memory or send it to me or whatever.  I genuinely want to know.  Today I want to fuck Veronica Lake.

The costumes aren’t really coming through in the numbers I was hoping for but at least Ariel Winter came through this year.  She also dressed as Leeloo from the Fifth Element but I didn’t see any decent shots of that yet.  Still, every year we can get more than one costume from her and I just want to congratulate her for doing the right thing.  Because once again, if I had Modern Family money and was invited to a bunch of Halloween parties, you better believe I would dress in a bunch of costumes.  It would be totally sweet.  But I don’t have that kind of money and if there are a bunch of Halloween parties going on in my social group then no one is telling me.  Which would just be mean spirited because everyone knows I love Halloween.  So I choose to believe there just aren’t any.  Today I want to fuck Ariel Winter.

Some costumes are slowly trickling in but to be frank, not enough costumes.  I realize tonight will probably be the big party night but come on, if you are rich and famous and have access to world class costume designers, I say go all out. There should be Halloween parties for like 2 weeks leading up to Halloween. Why have the parties compete?  Think of all the candy you are missing out on, Hollywood!  All those excuses to dress up and eat candy, which I assume like most adults, are your main goals in life.  It hasn’t happened yet though.  For some reason.  Luckily, Michelle Trachtenberg is always reliable.  She doesn’t fuck around when it comes to Halloween and I always appreciate it.  Her costumes are often similar thematically, which you know, good for her.  A lot of people don’t have a distinctive look period, much less a distinctive style when it comes to Halloween.  Also, her make up work is always so good it isn’t like they ever feel the same.  They are just in the same school of costumes.  And man, the make up work is so good.  This year (lower left) it is so creepy and disquieting.  She went super pale then with a dark design and if you don’t look closely it looks like she doesn’t have a mouth.  It’s just very unsettling.  Which I guess could sound like an insult but it isn’t.  It’s fucking awesome.  Ghost that looks at you and then screams until you piss yourself from a strange Asian horror movie is frankly a fantastic look.  I love it. So today I want to fuck Michelle Trachtenberg.

So Stranger Things comes back today and I can’t imagine anyone cares about that because the internet is in no way obsessed with Stranger Things.  So what does Maika Monroe have to do with Stranger Things?  I don’t have a single clue!  Is she in this season’s episodes?  Was she just at the premier for some other reason?  Who knows!  It will be one of the many fascinating mysteries I can learn about this evening when I start to watch.  I’ll be on the edge of my seat.  Also stuff about the upside down but I am sure most people will be more interested in me finding out who is and isn’t on the show.  Either way, I really liked her dress at the premier because it’s red and sparkly.  And I should rewatch It Follows this weekend at some point.  Today I want to fuck Maika Monroe.