Tag: Actress

I guess Game of Thrones is coming back.  I am honestly not all that excited but I have lots of reasons for that, including the fact that I only watched the series because everyone badgered me into it and I don’t think it is quite as profound and high brow as a lot of people do.  I tend to, in general, consider a lot of what HBO does as just porn for people who are too uptight to watch porn.  You make some fancy sets, you give everyone a British accent and then you let people pretend they are pursuing something high minded when they really are just here for tits and blood.  I guess I feel like when I watch a slasher movie it is much more honest about why it exists.  Anyway, the show has it’s benefits but it strikes me as lacking in nuance the further it gets away from the books so part of me is worried about this season.  We’ll see though.  The season approaching has resulted in a lot of Sophie Turner in the past few weeks, mainly in magazines but now at the premier and her appearance there is like the show.  Hey, she’s pretty, she is cute messing around on the red carpet, but man that dress is ugly.  But I’ll do what people watching the show do, which is choose to look at it from an angle that lets me ignore the less than desirably parts.  It’s not a bad dress from the back.  And she is still pretty.  Hey, sorry I dumped on your show Game of Thrones fans.  I didn’t sleep well and let’s be honest, winter is taking fucking forever.  Today I want to fuck Sophie Turner.

So Karen Gillan was in a magazine called Glass Magazine and I for one think this is a fantastic idea.  I don’t mean a magazine about glass, or well, it might be about something else but the title only gives me so many clues, but rather putting Karen Gillan in your magazine.  Sometimes I wonder why celebrities so often show up in photoshoots for magazines I have never heard of because I wonder how these magazines stay afloat.  Print is dead and I hear all the major publications are struggling, so how does Glass Magazine pay the bills?  I don’t know, is it a Scottish thing?  I know I have at least one follower who lives in Scotland.  Tell me about Scottish Glass culture.  Make it up if you have to, just make it believable.  Luckily that won’t be hard because all Americans know about Scotland is Braveheart and the Loch Ness Monster or if we’re really well educated we know Haggis is a thing.  Most people don’t know what it is but they know they think it’s gross.  What I am saying is there is a lot of room for you to make up a story about Karen Gillan and glass blowing and the fabled Alban Glass Mines of Donald II.  Trust me, I won’t actually look it up to see if it’s true.  I mean, I am inclined to look fondly on whatever you tell me about the place because I know Karen Gillan is Scottish so I just assume the place has a lot of great things going on if you could afford to let her go.  It must be some sort of paradise.  Anyway, she looked great, she is great, more strange magazines with her in it please!  Today I want to fuck Karen Gillan.

Independent of each other, two people have brought up Fan Bingbing in the past 24 hours with me and the general theme is that she is essentially the most beautiful woman in the world. While I am not the sort of person to believe you can quantify and rank that kind of thing I am also can’t possibly think of a valid argument against this.  Like, if you were to decide that’s the hill you wanted to die on, there is nothing I could say to prove you false.  Or um… I guess I should say if that’s the hill you choose to die on you could possibly live forever.  Wow, is Fan Bingbing the key to immortality?  Jesus, she can do anything.  Anyway, @wildflagsure was pointing out how gorgeous she was and then I woke up to messages about how gorgeous she is from @femalecelebrityoftheday and these were kind of out of nowhere.  Mostly.  The point being that she is so beautiful you just feel compelled to tell someone I guess.  I am telling you guys. She is beautiful. Today I want to fuck Fan Bingbing.

So Haute Couture Fashion Week is going on in Paris and in past years I don’t remember this getting that much attendance.  I mean, it makes sense to me just because if you are going to go look at clothes, why not look at the expensive, high end clothes you’re never, ever going to get to wear.  Or maybe that’s why celebrities haven’t been at it before, it isn’t out of reach for them.  I guess I am saying Haute Couture shows should almost be like Nascar.  They should be the fashion shows of the people.  I want popcorn and beer and people who somehow lost their shirt but wearing a mesh hat hootin’ and hollerin’.  That’s my dream of a Haute Couture show, aspirational views of fashion as art by the masses.  Or maybe that’s the opposite of the purpose of high brow art as fashion.  If the hoi plloi shows up it ruins the entire point.  Boy, this is some elitist bullshit if you ask me.  Anyway, Priyanka Chopra was at the Armani show, which is nice because she’s attractive and I can spell Armani without looking it up.  I think.  I could be wrong.  Oh well.  She looked good.  I like her.  Today I want to fuck Priyanka Chopra.

Here is Lea Michele because I find Lea Michele attractive.  Hmmm, well, that’s simple.  Why haven’t I been doing this from the start? I’ve wasted all this time with words.  But really that about sums it up, she is one of those people I can’t quite explain it, I just know I find her more attractive than most people do.  I don’t have a reason but I am not dumb, I know my attraction to her seems to out strip most people’s.  We all have people like that, they just tweak something in us specifically.  She has been doing photoshoots for… I dunno, album promo or who knows what.  Her instagram is a gift typically with her bed series.  She just looks good.  I like it.  Today I want to fuck Lea Michele.

So I am half way through glow and I almost posted Britt Baron yesterday but then got really excited about Kate Nash.  Now @femalecelebrityoftheday has beaten me to the punch.  What a prick.  Wait, I don’t mean that.  Sorry guys, I went to sleep and woke up and went to sleep and woke up all night.  Just like a conspiracy of the universe to make something crash or scream or whatever every 30 minutes or so.  According to my fitbit I was awake 14 times last night and restless 18 times and spend 118 minutes awake over the course of the night.  Sweet.  That’s why you’re here, right? To hear me whine? Anyway, this is Britt Baron and I thought I would post her yesterday because she is ridiculously adorable on GLOW.  She is just very good at this obsessive fan/shy punk girl thing.  It can all be hard to pull off but she is great.  Also, I am pretty sure I know what the twist in her story is but hey, I don’t want to spoil anything.  She appears to be a newcomer as her resume starts just a couple of years ago and is full of little bit parts and stuff.  She is really cute and I like her character.  I am digging sort of the underrated, low key character work that seems to constantly go on in the background of scenes in GLOW.  Today I want to fuck Britt Baron.

I started watching GLOW Last Night/In the Early Hours of The Morning Depending on Your Perspective and I quite liked the couple of episodes I saw.  I don’t think it is a life changing TV show but I think it is fun and funny and kind of grubby and prickly while ultimately being pretty feel good cause I have the feeling these lovable losers, well, it’s all going to work out for them.  I also have the feeling I will want to post a lot of cast members but they will get overlooked cause there are only so many days in a week and the episodes feel short and… I’ll be done in a couple of days.  Anyway, I was looking up who was who and one of the ones that stood out was the woman who played Rhonda.  I clicked on her name on IMDB and it looked like she had been in 100 things.  Many things I had seen but it was all listed as uncredited.  And I was like… was the an extra until now?  Who puts that on their IMDB?  And her name was Kate Nash but my brain wasn’t clicking until I saw they were all music credits.  At which point I was like, “No way, Kate Nash Kate Nash?”  I didn’t believe it and thought maybe IMDB linked to the wrong Kate Nash or something and did some checking but, yeah, it’s Kate Nash.  In my defense, this happens to me almost once a year, I see Kate Nash and go, that’s Kate Nash?  It looks nothing like Kate Nash.  She seems to look like a completely different person every year.  It’s insane.  And given I last posted her almost 5 years ago, I am willing to believe that if someone ever clicks the Kate Nash tag on my blog they might now believe the posts are about the same person.  Or that even all pictures in this post are the same person for that matter. I am glad to see her.  I knew her label had dropped her some time back because… well, she wanted to go one way and they wanted her to keep making the same song.  SO good for her.  I am glad she has a new thing.  Apparently she lives in America now, I didn’t even know.  But then I realized the last I remember was her handing out water bottles at the London Riots and… man, that’s been a long time.  It’s been a long time.  The days just blur together.  But I was excited to see her and she frankly looks great.  Like a completely different person and she might be some sort of actual literal shapeshifter but… hey, I like it.  I went and listened to Made of Bricks again.  Today I want to fuck Kate Nash.

I know I just posted Kelly Brook the other day and this is really frequent for someone who hasn’t shown up in forever but she was on my mind again.  So I changed things up by posting her in her underwear.  Well, not her underwear.  I don’t think models just come to shoots with their own underwear.  Or I do.  I assuem most… no, we’ll say some, I don’t want to get locked into a definitive range here, some models at least come to shoots with their own underwear.  On their bodies.  But that isn’t what they wear in the shoot because that kind of defeats the purpose of trying to sell whatever underwear the company that hired her made.  So that’s what I mean.  Of course, now saying it’s not hers implies it’s someone else’s underwear and I don’t think that is true either.  That would be all kinds of creepy.  I mean, I assume she is the only person to wear said underwear but ownership is such a tricky question. Not legally but like… metaphysically.  What does it mean to own something, what determines who that underwear belongs to.  I guess legally would be one way to determine it but I feel like in a deeper sense it is whoever we associate it with.  And I don’t know which brands she is modeling for here.  Some of them might just be modeling for things that aren’t underwear even.  So I guess… I guess it is her underwear because if I were to discuss it I would say, “Oh, yeah, Kelly Brook’s underwear”.  I am not sure why I would be having this conversation but my basic point is I was right the first time.  These are pictures of Kelly Brook in her underwear.  Thus making this a lot of words that took us around in a  circle and accomplished nothing.  Which maybe is what I should just rename this blog.  It’s catchy. Anyway, Kelly Brook is one of those people I have been attracted to forever and if i wanted to be really reductive I could say because boobs but the truth is the world is full of boobs.  The internet even more so.  So there has to be something more and I have posted her a lot over the years, though less often recently but that’s more a factor of her just showing up less often everywhere else.  I don’t know what it is about her that clicks for me but she does.  I do have boundless affection for British women I suppose.  Though again, there are a lot of them and it’s really specific British women I am drawn to.  Look, I am not going to figure this out, I barely figured out the underwear thing.  All I know is that today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

So the Royal Ascot happened and if you don’t know what that is you’ll be forgiven, it’s a big deal horse race in the England with ties to the Royal Family. I mean, everything there has ties to the Royal Family because technically all of the land in England is just granted to people by the crown which, if you ask me, sounds like a terrible way to live but that’s why every July 4th I start my posts by telling King George to eat a dick.  But this one especially does in that the Queen likes going and it does have Royal in the name.  The other part is cause the Ascot is a big deal race track in England.  I know all this because I am the foremost expert on England sitting at this keyboard right now, mainly because I have all sorts of expert sources.  One really.  My friend Katherine.  She tells me stuff sometimes.  Which means yes, I have turned the British people into a Monolith and all of you, no matter what region or origin or group you believe you belong to are now all represented by the thoughts and opinions of one person.  You are not a group of individuals.  I would say there is poetic justice there and something about Empire and how the British treated other peoples the same way but you know, I am not an expert on that.  We had all flushed our tea long before that nonsense and all I know is you guys were a bunch of wig wearing crumpet monkeys and we totally kicked your ass.  This has gotten strangely aggressive.  My point is because of my single friend from England I am an expert on all things English.  I know you guys all love shoes and polka dots and have some strange ax to grind with Charli XCX.  What a strange peoples you are.  I also know that the Royal Ascot is all about strange hats. I almost posted Holly Willoughby yesterday because she looked pretty at the Royal Ascot but her hat wasn’t strange enough.  I mean, it wasn’t normal.  I don’t think she’d be caught wearing it anywhere else but it wasn’t strange enough.  Today I am posting Kelly Brook.  Her hat is stranger.  I think it could stand to ramp up the strangeness a little but i have decided it qualifies enough. Horse racing is a strange sport in that it does have a spectator uniform.  The upper crust wear funny hats here, too, though they go more for size over complexity in their odd hats but that’s America for you really.  We do have in common that no one would ever wear those hats anywhere else.  What I don’t know is if most of the racetrack is full of drunken reprobates though.  Ours are. I actually paid for my college text books Freshman year with my winnings from the racetrack.  It’s the sort of good decision making that have lead me to creating a mildly popular tumblr blog with tons of followers, 99% of whom would be deeply embarrassed if anyone they knew found out they followed my blog. Anyway, Kelly Brook is pretty hot but I think barely famous anymore.  I am glad she got to go to the track and break out that hat though, she looked good. I hope she won any bets she placed.  If that is allowed in England.  I hope so because I have to be honest, I am not really sure what the point is otherwise. Today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.

I haven’t posted Alison Brie in a million years and that just kind of happens sometimes.  I really like Alison Brie but I liked Community and Mad Men even more.  So I watched them every time they were on and loved the shows and that’s where I saw her most often.  Those shows are long, long gone at this point, which is why it has been a shocking 14 months since I last posted her. The time just slips away I guess.  But now we’re getting a press barrage for GLOW, which she is the star of.  And I hope it’s good, I think it could be really interesting but I suppose we’ll see.  I guess tone will matter because I remember GLOW being a thing in the 80’s and wrestling in general was a bit of a joke then, kids stuff that my friends and I watched on Saturday Mornings but GLOW was especially seen as a punchline by the culture at large.  You know, cause Women.  So I think I watched some of it at some point.  I know I definitely saw some of the member of the Glamorous Ladies of Wrestling on an episode of the Family Feud.  Either way, you could chart the lack of prestige there by the fact that in my area at least it showed up on one of those unaffiliated UHF stations that no one really knew why it existed and again, only kids watched it cause it showed syndicated cartoons in the afternoon.  So I think there is a lot of story potential there and in general things about wrestling fit in very well with a type of underdog sports story.  Not the underdog makes good times but the societal underdog, people who are just seen as disreputable by their very existence and will probably never earn respect or acclaim and have to deal with that reality.  Or you know, maybe it will be about Glowworms, also a very 80’s thing and a toy I never had because who wants a stuffed animal made mostly out of hard plastic?  Well, everyone I guess but I still never had one.  Today I want to fuck Alison Brie.