Tag: Actress

Here is Emma Watson who always surprises me when she shows up here.  I mean, I know she’s going to, I am the one typing these words, it isn’t like I black out and when I come to there is some mysterious Emma Watson post, it’s more that if you asked me Monday I never would have thought she’d show up this week.  I would have said it was unlikely.  This is because she’s not mine, there are people who like Emma Watson way more than I do.  I haven’t seen her movies, like at all.  I have seen her only in one or two things.  She actually seems remarkably charming, intelligent and mature, so I fully get why so many people just love her but I am not one of those people so it almost feels like stealing.  You just don’t claim a girl when you know someone else likes her more.  I am not saying this as a dibs thing, that would rob the woman of her agency, that all the matters is what people claiming her want, not her own desires but it’s like… with donuts.  Yes, i am going to compare women to donuts after trying not to demean women but let’s say your friend loves jelly donuts, they’re his favorite thing in the whole world.  Someone brings in a box of donuts.  There is one jelly.  Even if you’re kind of in the mood for a jelly donut you’d be a douche to take the only one when you know it would mean the world for someone else to have it.  It’s like that.  Could the jelly choose then yes, the jelly should choose who gets to eat it, but the jelly isn’t going to choose so you are a decent person and leave it for your friend.  It’s like that because honestly, Emma Watson isn’t choosing any of us.  Hate to break it to you, she’s not, so it always feels slightly wrong for me to post her.  Except it’s not my fault, she did these amazing pictures for Wonderland Magazine and they are just so good I couldn’t help it.  So I am posting her.  And if that makes me a douche that makes me a douche.  Today I want to fuck Emma Watson.

Here is Colbie Smulders who is and always has been very pretty but I have not posted her a lot.  I don’t entirely know why because I have been watching How I Met Your Mother since before I started this blog.  Part of it might be the mental back and forth my nerd brain causes as it requires me to declare one person hotter than another on any TV show.  So when the show started she was the hottest.  Then in the middle seasons it was Alyson Hannigan. Then it was back to Colbie but I wasn’t as into the show and… it’s a whole thing.  It’s a strange thing.  Anyway, she is gorgeous and has always been very funny on the show.  Also she’s married to the most talented current member of SNL so I just assume they are having very funny babies as well.  That really has nothing to do with this though, she’s just here because she’s pretty.  Today I want to fuck Colbie Smulders.

So it is my friend Kate’s birthday today (different than the Katherine whose birthday was a couple of days ago, look Katherines basically rule my world) and she is one of my dearest tumblr friends and her birthday is almost over in New Zealand but it’s just starting here in America and America is what really matters so use that convenient link I put there to wish her Happy Birthday.  It is good New Girl was on last night because I would have hated to pick someone she hated for today.  I didn’t have to though because I get to pick Zooey Deschanel who she is in lust with.  I get it because I too find Zooey to be rather fetching.  It doesn’t hurt that Prince was on the show last night.  Fun fact you may not know about me but i love Prince.  Probably the best live show I have ever been to was a Prince show and until last night I didn’t realize Prince and Zooey singing together was something I needed so badly.  I wish it had been a better song, like If I Was Your Girlfriend would have been perfect (Or Head because I am a pervert.  Or maybe seeing Zooey sing Come would have been great, too.  Look, Prince has a lot of just flat out dirty songs that I would have enjoyed hearing Zooey sing).  But she did sing and she is gorgeous and like… I dunno, Zooey is great, I am out of things to say because now I am imagining her singing Jack U Off, which uh… if you aren’t a Prince fan I bet you know what it’s about anyway.  Look, let’s just get off… fuck I mean, leave this subject along and end it with today I want to fuck Zooey Deschanel.

I have seen pretty much every Dario Argento movie ever made.  This is strikingly odd because I don’t think I have ever seen a Dario Argento movie I have liked, like the only thing he’s ever created that I enjoy is Asia Argento.  It’s like watching them is a habit I can’t kick.  It makes no sense. Except it kind of does, as a kid with the rise of VHS and cable channels desperate to fill hours I saw a lot, and by a lot I mean like thousands of houses, of European horror films.  Hammer Horror was the best but Italian Horror films had their own magic.  They tended to have some of the most strikingly beautiful people you have ever seen in them while balancing that with terrible acting, horrible stories, and laughable special effects (I saw a guy shoot a monster spider once.  The spider was clearly a stuffed animal and when the squib went off stuffing blew into the air and slowly floated down)  There was a strange luridness to them and they way the camera gazed at women that  was both off putting and hard to look away from.  I don’t remember the movie but I can remember being 10 and seeing a tall, brunette with knee high brown leather boots and the way the camera panned up her legs.  It stuck with me even if nothing else did.  So maybe that is why I keep going back, even though the movies are bad they have something effecting about them, which is more worthwhile than something you completely forget.  That said I watched Argento’s Dracula 3-d and it was god awful.  There was a hot girl in it though.  Of course there was a hot girl in it and of course she got naked.  And of course there is always something about being attracted to “the other”.  Oh, she has an accent.  Oh, she is from a whole other continent.  Oh, she speaks a different language.  Sometimes I am remarkably easy.  Anyway, this is an Italian and Spanish model and actress and I found her attractive enough to type this up so I guess that means today I want to fuck Miriam Giovanelli.

I watched this very mediocre movie called Sexy Evil Genius.  It seemed familiar when I saw it but I had never seen it before, I am not sure why I heard of it other than I had.  Anyway, the movie wasn’t anything special but Michelle Trachtenberg was pretty hot in it.  It’s strange really, I find her very attractive but I almost never post her.  I would say the frequency at which I post her is almost inversely related to how attractive I find her.  I think part of this is my dear friend Female Celebrity of the Day posts her all the time and so it feels like… she isn’t mine.  I’d be encroaching on my friend’s territory. That would be douchy of me, like you don’t go to a party and hit on the girl your friend likes, even if you’ve always kind of liked her you don’t, not when you know your friend’s feelings are much more intense.  So I guess what I am saying is she doesn’t show up often because what if one day she reads this and was so flattered that she fell in love with me?  I’d feel like a real ass.  So I guess I try to avoid that.  Of course, that said I can’t deny that today I want to fuck Michelle Trachtenberg.

Last night was another kinda half assed American Horror Story finale but I thought Emma Roberts looked pretty damn good in it.  Actually, she has looked very good all season.  I am a little surprised except that I am not.  I had to double check but I have posted her before but it was just when the season started.  She is an interesting case because I have been attracted to her off and on for what seems like forever now.  I guess it really couldn’t have been that long but it definitely runs hot and cold and i kind of just thought I was “over” her some time ago.  Like before I started this blog which is why she didn’t appear for the first 18 months.  But then on the show she has been… very pretty.  And I guess I am back on?  I don’t know, I can’t claim to understand but then that’s why I have this blog so I can track stuff like this and never actually understand anything.  But look at all the data points I have!  Today I want to fuck Emma Roberts.

So Anna Kendrick has been doing a full on assault on my attention recently.  Like it seems like she just keeps popping up being awesome.  This is not entirely surprising given that she is well documented to be awesome.  She is of course smart and hilarious.  First of all there is her “Superbowl Ad” that is fantastic.  I love that she describes herself as “approachable hot” and “hot to the kind of guys who feel bad calling a girl hot”.  Then there is her talking about Katy Perry “finger-banging” her cleavage.  Also attention getting.  Also hilarious.  The only thing she is missing really in her self assessment I think is that a big part of her appeal is that she is 100% crush worthy.  Part of that is approachableness but more of that is just that she seems like so much.  Not in a sexual way, I mean I guess how much fun she seems there is up to your imagination, but she seems like hanging out with her would be awesome.  I definitely have a bit of a crush on her.  How can you not?  She’s funny, she’s smart, she is stupid levels of talented, and she is like the hottest girl in your improv class!  Today I want to fuck Anna Kendrick.

I have been watching How I Met Your Mother for what feels like a life time at this point and it has been popular to say for what also feels like forever that the show is not as good as it once was and they should have ended it a long time ago.  There is validity in a good part of that but even at it’s worst the show had some high points.  Now with an end in sight I feel like it has hit a long of high points and last night’s episode was, to me, a very high point.  I won’t bore people with recaps or explanations but the Mother was always the most central character who was never there and introducing the mother was always going to be a very perilous thing.  They have managed to skip over that land mine so far but last night was extra impressive because it took the Mother from being perfect for Ted to just… very charming.  You can get how someone would tell their kids a 9 year story about her.  Kind of.  For me when she was singing “La Vie En Rose" at the end I was finding myself smitten.  That’s the power of music, when done well it is just magic in a way other arts are not for me.  It was moving and it was beautiful.  And I am 100% impressed with Cristin Milioti’s voice and her charm on screen.  Obviously she has worked before and to some acclaim on stage but for me this feels like the first time I really saw her.  She was spectacular.  Today I want to fuck Cristin Milioti.

So I watched Frozen and I absolutely adored it.  All of it was very good but the ending kind of blew me away.  It did something I don’t think I would have given Disney enough credit to actually do ahead of time.  i certainly shaped what the movie was both thematically and story wise in a way I really wouldn’t have given enough credit to do.  I loved it and hours later I am still thinking about how I loved it.  Don’t worry, I am not going to post another cartoon character, that’s not happening two days in a row (I was maybe a little tempted but not really).  No, my beloved Kristen Bell is showing up her because her voice work was awesome.  A friend told me that she was the most diverse and interesting Disney Princess she could think of and I dunno, I am not able to think on that scope yet but I will say her charming characteristics can easily be credited to Kristen Bell.  It isn’t really stunning that Kristen Bell who is amazing was thus able to do amazing work. The fact that the character was funny, charming, and sweet make sense because those are all things that she can bring through in a character.  I have been very clear I have a special bond with Kristen Bell and one day I am going to have her baby, despite what you people and your science and biological incompatibility say, it will happen.  In the future.  For now, for today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

There is a lot of talk about how much I like British women.  Mainly from me (but not only from me, thank you much).  So when there was a British awards show I kind of assumed it would be inevitable I would post someone British.  I guess it might have been inevitable it was Kelly Brook, who I have posted a lot over the years.  I should point out, I am not sure her dress won other than in the sense that it probably got the most attention.  But I like Kelly Brook a lot and it sent me down a rabbit hole.  See, of all the British women in the world, I like Kelly Brook more than all of them except one if I am going to be honest.  I have long had the feeling if I was British I would not think this.  She would be too mainstream or obvious or whatever that can make everyone’s favorite girl seem dull.  I am not British though, I am American so she is just exotic, has an accent, and an insane body.  And she’s British.  So today I want to fuck Kelly Brook.