Tag: blonde

Pixie Lott is here today because she gives me happy thoughts.  That’s not some innuendo, though I guess the potential innuendo there could be true, too.  But my point is she isn’t here because of innuendo, she’s here because like lots of things we start to associate someone with something else and they become linked.  Pixie Lott is like that for me so I love seeing pictures of her for many reasons, the main two being happy thoughts and she is very pretty.  And boy is she pretty, just look at her.  Oh yeah, and also blah blah blah British and Blonde.  I have a sickness or something.  I have a fever and the only cure is more Pixie Lott?  Sounds more appealing than cowbell.  Today I want to fuck Pixie Lott.

I have posted Jane Fonda before and it was pretty much for the exact same reason. Barbarella.  Barbarella is a horrible piece of schlock that is supposed to be erotic but ends up being laughable buuuuut…. it must work on some level cause the only time I am ever attracted to Jane Fonda is when I am watching Barbarella.  I am not sure if it’s the costumes or the nostalgia or what.  But there is definitely something that makes me really attracted to her.  I don’t honestly know if anyone will agree with me.  I mean, someone will, the movie has lasted as a cultural touchstone of a sort for a reason, I just mean I am not sure any of my followers will.  To which I’d say… uh, that’s cool I guess?  Sometimes I like dress up.  I happen to really like the ridiculous aesthetic of this 60’s sci-fi.  Plus I mean, she looks really good.  And… jeez, I dunno, I couldn’t help it, the movie was just there, suggest for me to “watch it again” and I couldn’t sleep so I did.  Blame Netflix for the fact that today I want to fuck Jane Fonda.

There was this Will Ferrel sketch on SNL a really long time ago where he was running a series of political attack ads about his opponent and over time it became clear that the election had taken place months and months ago.  He had won but he was still campaigning, still just decimating the competition.  That sketch came to mind when I saw Candice Swanepoel in black leather at an event for Maxim that was basically all about her being named the hottest woman alive by Maxim.  She looked just staggeringly hot and my thought was, “You know, you can stop campaigning, you’ve already won”.  This was a colossally stupid reaction by me for lots of reasons.  First of all I am willing to believe she has no choice, she just looks amazing, it’s what she does.  Secondly, I don’t think it’s a habit I want to discourage.  In what world do I really want someone to pull her aside and go, “Could you tone it down with the hotness?  We could use less hotness”.  So I admit, that was dumb of me.  I am willing to admit it, keep looking amazing, I am down with it.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

Here are some pictures of Kate Upton.  I included some gifs where she is being adorable because I feel like it’s an unappreciated trait of hers.  Or maybe unrecognized?  We put people in boxes and I notice adorable is most often parceled out to tiny girls who look young.  It’s like Kate Upton’s boobs prevent her from being adorable in a lot of eyes.  I mean, not just her, I see people reblog goofy old pictures of Marilyn Monroe behind the scenes and she’s being pretty adorable in them but I rarely see them described as such, bombshells don’t inspire thoughts of adorableness I guess.  As a matter of fact I would say the gif of her in the bikini might get some debate from people about the adorableness of it because it’s.. well, it’s jiggly.  But look at her face.  It seems adorable to me.  Someone can be adorable and jiggly, right?  Yes, absolutely they can.  It’s my blog (and I am saying this with confidence, good advice there) so I am saying Kate Upton is adorable.  Feel free to disagree with me.  If you like being wrong.  The simple truth is Kate Upton is adorable and sexy and today I want to fuck Kate Upton.

Here is Holly Willougby and I am kinda groggy and stuff today so I am not really sure what to say except something about me having a thing for blonde British girls. Or something like that.  I dunno, she seemed appealing today.  I strongly associate her with a friend of mine so she is always pleasant to think of because she seems warm and friendly because… I like my friends?  Man, I am struggling, sorry, this could be better.  But it’s not.  She is pretty, I like pretty people, today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

So this happens sometimes, I can’t explain it really.  Candice Swanepoel really didn’t show up here in any real way for much of 2014, now she’s here twice in the same week.  There really is no reason why she of all people would be inconsistent because she is one of the people there are most consistently new pictures of on the entire planet. At the very least there are going to be a slew of new Victoria’s Secret catalog images every week or so.  Hell, as I have documented before she is clearly stalking me as well because no matter what I do pictures of her in her underwear keep showing up in my email AND my actual physical mailbox (did you know Candice personally wants me to show up to a panty sale?  Well I did because I get a post card telling me so once a month with her picture on it).  So in my case, I pretty clearly get a lot of exposure to her.  Maybe that’s the issue, maybe it’s too much and it’s like, oh hey, there’s that gorgeous woman.  Shrug.  And then I move on with my day.  So when she clicks she’ll click a bunch of times in a row because well, I am going to see her a ton. Or maybe I am just filling space rambling with my little joke about how Candice Swanepoel is obsessed with me.  Who know, it’s early guys, like crazy 4 AM early.  Today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

So last night was the CMT Music Awards and I am declaring a winner.  Except the deck was stacked this time because I don’t know who the hell was there.  I haven’t looked.  Kristen Bell was there.  That is the only thing that matters because Kristen Bell is amazing and perfect.  So really a bunch of new pictures of her is the only thing I needed for her to get posted today. But I’ll go ahead and declare her the winner as well because who could possibly be better than KB?  No one.  Trust me, I’m an expert in who I am attracted to.  Today I want to fuck Kristen Bell.

So I know I posted all these dresses and I posted them recently.  Blake Lively hasn’t really shown up since then other than walking her dogs.  But the thing is she had a really, really good May.  So I am still thinking about her.  Because she looks so good.  So here she is again, like the 4th time in under a month.  Sorry if you’re bored, it’s not my fault.  It’s her fault.  For looking so good.  Uh… how dare she?  Man, this is making no sense, I am just kind of out of things to say.  She is beautiful, she dresses so well, and so today I want to fuck Blake Lively.

Candice Swanepoel just has not shown up a ton in recent months.  This despite her being in the news for both like… I dunno, coming first in some sort of hotness vote, which I always love because taste is the least democratic thing ever and my friend lunoboom informing me that she would “not be gross to make out with”.  So you guys heard it here first (unless you follow her, then you heard it there first) it would not be gross to make out with Candice Swanepoel.  That’s the sort of hard hitting investigative journalism you come here for I am sure.  Anyway, I put up pictures of her in her underwear today not because I have any sort of thing for underwear but because I found a picture I liked and decided to go with a theme.  And it is really easy to find pictures of her in her underwear.  Never let it be said that I am not willing to put in minimal effort for you guys.  There you have it, Candice Swanepoel, hotness of the people, not gross to make out with, she wears underwear.  That’s why today I want to fuck Candice Swanepoel.

My brain was loaded up with crazy dreams last night.  One of them even contained Cyclops, swanky dress socks, and him writing after action reports!  It was a thrill a minute.  But another one was also about Community, so good news if you miss the show, my brain is taking over and basically writing episodes and they are horrible!  My brain is the shittiest writer ever because the entire thing was unfocused and didn’t make a lot of sense. The gang was stranded in Ireland for reasons I don’t remember and they decided to wander around a mall and Britta got a job in a food court to try and pay for a way back home and eventually I think the others did?  Basically I remember Jeff became addicted to bacon dipped in chocolate, nuts, and maple syrup and kept running off to the bathroom to purge and this was supposed to be hilarious.  And I remember that Britta looked better than Annie which surprised me but I rolled with it and spent a good portion of the dream hitting on her.  And uh… that was my dream about Community.  And that is why Gillian Jacobs is here because I love that show and by extension all of them and she is pretty and looked…. good in the thing my brain made up.  It sorta makes sense I guess.  Anyway, today I want to fuck Gillian Jacobs.